KWC: Kaiju War Chronicles

Match 248 - Authors: Harley Jameson, Joshua Reynolds & Tyler Trieschock

Match 248: Baragon (Showa) vs. Mechani-Kong
Banner: Dao Zang Moua

Twas the night before Christmas……

Santa’s workshop was hard at work when he came. With a hundred orange and yellow helicopters, the forces of darkness descended upon the happiest place on Earth like a swarm of killer bees. Brilliant lights were beamed down, bringing a brightness to the huge mansion-like structure that hadn’t been seen since the last sunrise. Immediately, the sounds of frantic reindeer rang loud and the high-pitched yells of Santa’s workers, the Elves, struggled to keep the magical animals calm.

The front doors of the workshop opened up and a portly, but jolly man emerged. Dressed entirely in red and white robes, a beard so long that it almost reached his knees, and large black boots that sounded like jingle bells every time he stepped. It was the man himself, the living legend. Old Saint Nick… Santa Claus.

He crossed his arms and grey eyes narrowed behind his round glasses. “Ho Ho Ho…?” He said deeply in a disturbed voice. One of the swarming helicopters spotted the round mortal. Another beam of light shined down, focusing on the fat man.

“Ah, yes. Santa.” A broken voice cooed, “I always wondered if this time would ever come. It’s nice to meet you! Let me come down so I can introduce myself in person!”

The single helicopter ceased its blinding of the human and circled overhead once before slowly starting its descent. As it grew closed, thick clouds of white snow and ice were lifted into the air. Santa’s robes began to threaten to blow off his body before several small elves, no bigger than two or three feet, seemingly appeared out of nowhere to hold his garments on.

“Who is this!?”

“What’s going on!?”

“What do they want!?”

The elves spat questions out almost as fast as the helicopter’s blades spun. The flying vehicle touched down and its motors began to stop, slowing the spinning blades. A side door slid open and a man in light gray jumped out and ran around the side, opening up the opposite side’s door. Then he emerged. A lanky human that appeared to be death incarnate. His body was thin and frail. If it wasn’t Christmas, one might think it was Halloween once seeing this walking skeleton of a human being.

The thin man held onto his black, rimmed hat as other helicopters began to drop down. He was escorted to the waiting Santa. The mythical father of Christmas narrowed his gaze as he spotted several of the men holding weapons firmly.

The living skeleton smiled, showing rows of ugly teeth that had suffered decades of neglect. He clapped his hands together as he approached, “Why I have been waiting for this for years, my old man!” He declared gleefully, extending a hand for Santa to shake. The portly gentleman didn’t respond, only kept burning holes through the mortal’s body with his cold glare.

“I understand your confusion, Santa.” He declared, pulling his hand back. “I am Dr. Who.” The personification of death sneered, nodding his head.

Finally, Santa Claus responded. “I know who you are.” He declared boldly with a booming voice, “I know exactly who you are.”

Dr. Who smiled and nodded, “Good. Then do you mind taking us inside. I don’t know if you realize this, but we’re in the North Pole. It is a tad cold out here.” At that moment, the sounds of numerous guns being ready made Santa look around. They were surrounded.

“I don’t believe I have a choice, do I?” He shook his head, turning around and waving Dr. Who and his cohorts on.

As soon as they walked through the huge wooden doors, the smell of peppermint and cinnamon filled the air. All around them, elves were busy at work making toys and reading for the yearly trip around the world. “Please, Dr. Who, let us make this quick.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Santa. Christmas is cancelled this year, so there’s no reason to rush this.” His words made the workshop go silent, causing the elves to drop their tools and look up in confusion and worry.

Santa merely shook his head, “Christmas is never canceled.” Santa quickly retorted, “What do you want?”

Dr. Who raised a gray eyebrow, “You already know, Santa. You’ve always known what I wanted. But would never give it to me.”

“That’s because you were a naughty boy. And an even worse adult.” Santa said plainly, “You’re not even worth a lump of coal. There is no soul in you to keep warm with it.”

Santa’s insult made the madman lose his toothy smile, “I suppose I have done some bad things. But come now Santa. You can’t even share with the world?” Dr. Who began to circle the jolly man, “Here I thought the world’s largest source of Element X was in the South Pole... But it’s really here, isn’t it? Underneath us.” Santa’s hands clenched into fists as Dr. Who went on. “Now, Santa, I am going to dig it out.”

The entire workshop began to shake as if an Earthquake. The huge doors slammed open, allowing a blast of ice and snow to fly into the halls. Several elves ran inside, “There’s a giant outside! A giant!”

“You’ve been powering your workshop with it for centuries, haven’t you, Santa? You see, I too have uncovered the secrets of Element X. The amazing powers it can grant creatures… such as reindeer.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

“Of course not. I’d probably end up making toys with it.” Dr. Who chuckled, “Of course I know what to do with it. And you will see it too, right after I destroy your entire workshop. I’d like to tell you it’s not personal…” He paused, shrugging, “But you already know.”

Santa looked to the side, meeting the gaze of a handful of elves. “Ho. Ho. Ho… Ho. Ho.”

The three elves, all identical in size, shape and appearance, looked at one another before scampering off into the recesses of the workshop.

The structure began to shake even more violently as explosives were detonated on the ice. A huge monolith of steel was hard at work, placing bombs in holes dug by its own feet and hands. It wasn’t just any robot, but a doppelganger of one of the world’s most famous monsters: King Kong… It was Mechani-Kong, Dr. Who’s pride and most magnificent machine he had ever created.

Inside the house, the three elves ran as fast as their tiny legs would carry them. “I can’t believe this is a Ho times Five situation!” One of them shouted as they turned the corner.

“Hurry up, we don’t know which gift it is. We’ll have to search!”

The trio bolted into one of the rooms, swinging the door open just as another explosion outside rocked the workshop. “What are we looking for?”

“I have no idea! We’ll know when we find it!”

The elves began digging through piles of gifted presents. The tiny elves dove head-first, shouting different names as they sorted through. “Miki Saeguesa!” “Douglas Gordon” “Ichiro Serizawa!”

“None of this will be useful!”

“What about this!? Carl Majors!”

The two other elves dropped the gifts they had in hand, “Open it!”

The elf quickly began to tear off the golden wrapping paper, revealing a white box underneath. “What is it!?”

“Baragon Signaler.”


Deep in the bowels of the Earth, the subterranean monster slept peacefully. It hadn’t seen the sun in decades, but it didn’t mind. The beast loved being underground, away from humans and their concrete jungles and glass kingdoms. But, his eyes opened. His floppy ears lifted around his glowing horn. The primeval reptile pushed itself off the rocky surface of its underground cavern. Something was calling it…


Dr. Who smiled a devilish grin, taking a seat atop a pink playhouse as he glanced at the legendary icon near him. “If you beg, your minions may not be slaughtered by my men. I may even spare your life. Of course, only I know the answer to that question.”

Santa’s right hand began to elevate, stopping as he reached his long white beard. His eyes focused on the devilish figure before him, but a cocky grin began to glow beneath his snow-white facial hair. “Even as a boy, you were always scheming to best even me, but do you know why you failed?”

“Please,” Dr. Who commented as he removed a handgun from his back pocket. “Enlighten me.”

Santa’s eyes glanced across his workshop, watching his elves stealthily grab tools and other objects as Dr. Who’s men zeroed in on him.

“You see,” Saint Nick noted with a smile as he slowly walked toward Dr. Who, resting his hand upon a giant candy cane, “I see you when your sleeping, I know when you’re awake, I know you’ve been very bad…”

The workshop violently shook as something burrowed beneath its foundations. Men fell to the floor as wooden beams snapped sending coal, plastic and other raw materials flowing across the structure. Dr. Who’s gaze looked toward his men, his ears catching the roar of the monstrous creature burrowing beneath him before a long object smacked across his face.

Dr. Who hit the ground, rolling across the cold, wooden floor as his eyes peered back at Santa, the candy cane now resting in his hands as a blunt weapon. A monstrous roar overtook all sounds, deafening the recoil of gunshots and piercing cries of Elves as Dr. Who’s eyes glared with unfathomable amounts of fury.

“You’ve always been blind to the sweet things in life and now, I’m going to stop you, for goodness sake.”


The once sprawling, glistening meadow in front of Santa’s workshop resembled a strip mine as Mechani-Kong hammered away through the frozen tundra. Flashes of steam vented around the mechanical monstrosity as grenades detonated in continuous succession. As a fresh flash of steam parted, Mechani-Kong’s optical ports focused on glowing rocks now jutting through the frozen earth. Most glistened an eerie green, a warning of the immense radiation contained within their structures, except one which emanate an orange glow. Detecting a structural anomaly, Mechani-Kong’s hand reached for the object merely for the ice to fracture and fangs to erupt from the ice.

Ice shattered, glistening in the air as a crimson, quadruped burst into view. A bright horn illuminated the landscape, capturing its hideous face as a loud screech tore through the winter night air. Baragon, the subterranean terror, had arrived to unleash its wrath on defiler of Christmas.

Teeth locked onto Mechani-Kong’s right hand, piercing its robotic skin as Baragon made his presence known. The robotic doppelganger jerked at the sudden attack, before raising one fist and hammering it down on Baragon’s face. Shaking his head, Baragon was thrown back by the powerful machine, the mine’s walls collapsing down on them both.

Shrieking out, Baragon’s horn illuminated the avalanche with an orange glow before a powerful heat beam tore out of his maw and slammed into Mechani-Kong’s chest, forcing the robotic doppelganger to unclip a grenade and throw it at the kaiju, the resulting explosion rocking the makeshift mine and burying both of them in ice and snow.

Dr. Who and Father Christmas traded blows on the wooden balcony of the workshop. A powerful punch to the gut caused Dr. Who to yell in agony before he grabbed a plate of cookies on a nearby table and smashed them across Santa’s face. The two took a moment to pause, each gathering the needed strength to continue fighting merely for a cataclysmic explosion to capture their respective attention.

“So much for your savior.” Dr. Who snarled out.

Santa’s eyes twinkled heavily, and his deep chuckle jiggled his belly a little. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that…”

The ice in front of the workshop exploded outward, sending both men flying as Baragon slowly dug his way back to the surface. He shivered a little at the cold, unused to the climate. Sweeping his gaze around, the thumping of the helicopter’s caught the kaiju’s attention, and with a snarl he began walking back toward the workshop, only pausing when a sound caught his attention.

Big ears flicking, Baragon wheeled around when the robotic hand of Mechani-Kong shoved its way to the surface. Everyone watched in astonishment as the robot crawled back onto the surface, eyes glowing dimly in the night, jaw opening and roaring loudly. Dipping his head, Baragon’s ears flew up as he howled of his perseverance to fight on.

Unclipping another grenade, Mechani-Kong threw one at its opponent, who easily dove to the side as a massive explosion upended more dirt and ice. The distant sound of sleigh bells could be heard jingling in the air as the reindeer scattered, flying into the night when Baragon crashed through the stables.

Lumbering toward Baragon, Mechani-Kong’s eyes flashed brilliantly. Baragon’s world grew hazy, and the monster swayed a little as the light on top of Mechani-Kong’s head shone down on top of him. Rearing back, Mechani-Kong slammed its fist against Baragon’s head, snapping the monster out of his dazed stupor with an agonized roar, blood and teeth flying.

Roaring, Mechani-Kong raised its fists in an imitation of Kong, Baragon groaning in pain as the robot slammed them into his back. Bargon’s form disappeared into a cloud of ice and snow. Horn glowing with power, Baragon reared up within the cloud and shoved the robot away with all of his might, before hunching down and leaping forward and slamming onto the robot, sending both of them crashing down onto the ground.

The prehistoric beast remained on top of his robotic adversary. Like a frenzied pit-bull, the dinosaur bite and clawed at its thick armor plating. Tremendous streams of spark and smoke began to rise from its mid-section as the saurian used its tremendous strength, evolved to dig through the toughest of rock, to carve through Mechani-Kong. The monolith let loose an ear-splitting screech as it brought up an elbow, slamming it full force into Baragon’s left temple. The beast released its vice-like grip and stumbled away, buying the machine just a few seconds to recover. Its hand reached down, grabbing a grenade from its belt. It was starting to run low.

No sooner than it brought it up, Baragon’s bellowing jaws came down on the hand and the explosive. With a quick tug, Mechani-Kong pulled its arm back and released the bomb within Baragon’s muzzle. As if it knew what were about to happen, the saurian’s eyes grew widen in horror. Just then, it detonated. Baragon’s upper torso was engulfed in a swirling mass of hellfire and smoke. Chunks of its teeth came crashing down across the landscape, pelting the workshop like bloody hail.

Mechani-Kong grabbed Baragon by the shoulders, grappling with the monster a brief moment. With a loud mechanical screech, Mechani-Kong threw Baragon hundreds of meters above him. Baragon’s body frenzied in mid-air, shocked at the throw before the beast let gravity overcome him. Baragon’s head fell forward, its jaws open wide in anticipation merely for his eyes to widen in shock as Mechani-Kong’s fist collided with his chin. Baragon’s pummeled face careened through the workshop, elves scattering as a chunk of the building was obliterated by the monster.

Shaking his head a little, Baragon yelped in alarm when a grenade smacked him across the face, the explosion sending him stumbling backward in alarm and crying out in pain. Horn glowing, Baragon saw Mechani-Kong unclip another grenade, and out of desperation fired his heat beam at Mechani-Kong’s right hand. The grenade detonated prematurely by the attack, the explosion barreling the robot over with a shriek and blowing its arm clean off.

Shaking his head to regain his senses, Baragon’s eyes narrowed at the state of Mechani-Kong. The machine’s former arm was sparking and smoking. The machine’s eyes were dulled as it shakily rose to its feet.

Knowing what he had to do, Baragon channeled all of its remaining power into his maw. Fire ignited around his jaws, melting even the snow close to his feet. With his horn glowing so bright it would make any star envious, Baragon unleashed a tremendous heat beam that slammed against Mechani-Kong’s belt.

Mechani-Kong glanced down, his sensors detecting minimal damage to his structure from the ray as it engulfed his form. As a mocking screech echoed from its mechanical jaws, a titanic explosion engulfed it as his belt detonated, sending bits of machinery and metal flying in every direction. Dr. Who’s helicopters fell into a freefall from the shockwave, adding to the large fire burning across the remains of Mechani-Kong.

Baragon walked over to the robot’s remains, sniffing the fiery, robotic corpse of his attacker. Satisfied it was dead, Baragon howled victoriously into the freezing, night air.


Blood dripped across Dr. Who’s battered face. His devilish eyes winced as the liquid rolled across his left eye, yet his glare never wavered from the towering figure of Santa or the hundreds of Elves which surrounded him. His arms flexed, testing the jump rope which binded not only him, but the dozens of hired guns as they sat in the snowy field in front of Santa’s damaged workshop.

“You think you’ve won?” Dr. Who snarled. “I’ll return! I’ll build another Mechani-Kong! Then yule be sorry!”

“Ho, Ho, oh, I know you will,” Santa responded. “But don’t you know what day it is? It's a day of giving, and I have presents to deliver, including you.”

The ground behind Who cracked, raising dozens of feet until a head burst through the uplifted mound of snow. Baragon’s bright horn illuminated the group of men while saliva pooled in its fanged maw. Its eyes widened in hunger, its tongue washing over its razor-sharp teeth until it could not wait any longer. The screams of dozens of men vanished as Baragon’s jaws overtook the group.

“Oh, the misses is going to have a mess to clean up tonight,” Santa laughed as blood soaked the snow beneath his feet.

Baragon licked his lips over the tantalizing meal and cocked his head to the side. A single eye scanned the large, human and all which stood around his towering presence.

“A Merry Christmas to you Baragon! Thank you for saving all of us! I assure you for this, you will forever be on the nice...”

Old Saint Nick and his elves vanished into the gullet of Baragon in a flash. Fresh blood flowed down Baragon’s chest as those which weren’t caught in the initial bite realized the carnage in front of them. A few elves which evaded the initial bite scattered into the workshop while the ancient creature closed his eyes, relishing the festive meal.

Baragon’s mind returned to a simpler time. Humans fleeing in terror of his presence. Warm blood flowing across his jaws as fresh meat flowed down his throat in endless quantities. After years of isolation, the beast felt jubelius of his return to the surface. He’d might even make a tradition of the event, but first, his nostrils detected the smell of a tiny reindeer, one of the most famous of them all. While the lights of the workshop long since died in the battle, the magical animal’s glowing red nose gave it all the light it needed. And unfortunately, it acted like a beacon for the hungry reptile. Baragon gave chase, more than happy to follow Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer all over the globe if he had to...

Baragon (Showa)
Baragon (Showa)