Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

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NSZ
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by NSZ »

G'84: Shin Godzilla, except not painfully mediocre.
GvB: We're just gonna conveniently forget that cadmium exists.
GvKG: A time-travel plot so poorly written that fans debate what happened even after it's been properly explained.
BFE: Mothra but with an edgy 90's anti-hero thrown into the mix!... and Godzilla's in it for some reason.
GvMG: We're gonna tank the global economy to build an overly-specialized paperweight.
GvSG: We tanked the global economy again to rebuild our overly-specialized paperweight and make it look like a penguin... for some reason.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Tomzilla »

The Return of Godzilla: “A politically themed kaiju thriller that will teach you more about geopolitics than your high school history class. Somehow the human race is still here. Hot damn.”

Godzilla vs. Biollante: “Godzilla + the legalization of pot = just another day at Toho Kingdom. The movie is cool too.”

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah: “Japan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re a fixed point in time and space. There’s nothing you can do to stop the mindless wibbly wobbly, timey wimey destruction. Here, have a Dorat. No, wait, I’m feeling charitable — have 3! I hope you feel better as the light leaves Shindo's eyes.”

Godzilla vs. Mothra - Battle for Earth: “Remember that nuke-proof refrigerator from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? It cost more to make that fridge prop than this movie.”

Godzilla vs. MechaGodzillaa: “Today on Maury, it’s a three-way, prehistoric custody battle over a stoned animatronic. Godzilla... you are NOT the father!”

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla: “What happens when a low-budget creature feature from space joins forces with a rejected SURVIVOR/GANGSTER spinoff? Action figures… and lots of money, playaaaa!!!”

“Yuki had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur — WITH THE FUR! The whole club was looking at him, he hits the floor… Yuki got low low low low low…”

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah: “Previously on MONSTER BALL Z: With all life on Earth hanging in the balance, Godzilla goes Super Saiyan Godzilla and fights Majin Destoroyah to the death. Can our hero stop the precambrian menace from destroying us utterly? Can the precambrian menace stop our hero from drowning us in a nuclear meltdown?! Are we, uh, screwed no matter what happens?!? Find out... NOW!"
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Kaltes-Herzeleid »

Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah: How NOT to do a time travel movie.

Godzilla & Mothra: Battle for Earth: Godzilla V. Edgy Mothra: Dawn of Justice...guest starring Mothra!

Godzilla Vs. Destoroyah: Local Precambrian crustacean ruins everything.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Ivo-goji »

Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: actually a well-written time travel story with interesting themes, fans are just dumber than a sack of hammers
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Kaltes-Herzeleid »

Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla: Little Godzilla learns stranger danger the hard way and his dad has to save him.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Destorogoji »

Yamato Takeru: How NOT to do something different.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by cmdmstudios »

Godzilla 1985: Famous lawyer is brought in to watch live feed of natural disaster while spouting cryptic messages.
Godzilla vs Biollante: Grieving geneticist's lab project goes awry while trying not be killed by hired thugs and assassins. Chaos ensues.
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: How to cause a temporal causality, featuring androids and monsters. Chaos ensues.
Godzilla vs Mothra: Meteor causes large conflict between differing ideologies about ecological preservation and whether or not humanity should be destroyed. Guest starring a dinosaur.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: Largest paternity dispute ever seen, complete with large waste of taxpayer money.
Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla: The evil twin trope needs to be in this series somewhere.
Godzilla vs Destoroyah: The China Syndrome, but much worse and featuring a really bad case of crabs.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Kaijunator »

Got two more for GvMGII:

"It's a legal battle too big for any court to handle!"

"It's a monster-sized paternity dispute!"
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Mini-Godzilla »

Godzilla '84 -- Godzilla raids yet again, but this time with more C-SPAN.

Vs. Biollante -- Feed me, Shiragami!

Vs. King Ghidorah -- If Monster Zero had time travel instead.

Vs. Mothra -- Inuyama Jonesu and the Cameo of Godzilla.

Vs. Mechagodzilla -- Baby got back brain, so the Big G must, too!

Vs. Spacegodzilla -- Rebirth of Minilla.

Vs. Destroyer -- Apocalyptic dread meets Aliens.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Billzilla1974 »

Ivo-goji wrote:Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: actually a well-written time travel story with interesting themes, fans are just dumber than a sack of hammers
ACTUALLY a badly written movie with an overhyped, overused, failure of a Ghidorah incarnation with themes that are schizophrenic, overly complicated, and ultimately lead nowhere.
Heisei fans are just dumber than a bag of shit. :lol:
Also, M11 did 911.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Lain Of The Wired »

Billzilla1974 wrote:
Ivo-goji wrote:Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: actually a well-written time travel story with interesting themes, fans are just dumber than a sack of hammers
ACTUALLY a badly written movie with an overhyped, overused, failure of a Ghidorah incarnation with themes that are schizophrenic, overly complicated, and ultimately lead nowhere.
Heisei fans are just dumber than a bag of shit.:lol:
Also, M11 did 911.
Truest statement in this thread :lol:
Never forget tadpole :godzilla:

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Billzilla1974 »

Lain Of The Wired wrote:
Billzilla1974 wrote:
Ivo-goji wrote:Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: actually a well-written time travel story with interesting themes, fans are just dumber than a sack of hammers
ACTUALLY a badly written movie with an overhyped, overused, failure of a Ghidorah incarnation with themes that are schizophrenic, overly complicated, and ultimately lead nowhere.
Heisei fans are just dumber than a bag of shit.:lol:
Also, M11 did 911.
Truest statement in this thread :lol:
Thanks.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by szmigiel »

Scientist races against time to figure out which bird call will lure a walking nuclear disaster into a volcano, meanwhile the US and USSR argue over who gets to nuke Tokyo.

Seasoned reporter learns from past mistakes and watches monster from a safe distance.

Corporate espionage leads to the release of a walking nuclear disaster and the mixing of a rose, a dead girl, and the same walking nuclear disaster.

Time travel shenanigans lead to the creation of two monsters that battle, the loser then gets some upgrades and comes back from the future for a rematch.

Monster can't decide who he hates more, humans, his goodie two shoes duplicate, or a walking nuclear disaster.

Military uses tech from the future to build a robotic twin and gets in the middle of a parental battle between two monsters.

Walking nuclear disaster seeks payback on his space-doppelganger that put his son in a time out.

Walking nuclear disaster is going to explode, then doesn’t.

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by MechaGoji Bro7503 »

King Kong 1976- Kong becomes a vicious sexual predator, which explains the lack of other creatures. Also, the Iron Monger tries to protect him.

King Kong Lives- He doesnt really live.

Rebirth of Mothra- Mothra dies again, this time by King Ghidorah's cousin that no one ever talks about. Oh, and beam spam.
Rebirth of Mothra 2- Water battles, beam spam, and peeing chibi troll things all in one!
Rebirth of Mothra 3- Mothra battles Shin King Ghidorah with the boring power of beam spam!!
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Cybermat47 »

Godzilla (1984) - a giant lizard tries to murder all Humans, but just ends up saving them from themselves and gets tricked with a magnet. Gamera takes an interest in the film crew.

Godzilla (1985) - a bunch of Americans watch G84 and make jokes, while Raymond Burr wishes Toho would just cast him in a film. Godzilla has Asperger's syndrome, and goes into a volcano to find some birds.

Godzilla VS Biollante - Godzilla gets plastic surgery and tries to murder his bastard daughter.

Godzilla VS King Ghidorah - People from the future plot to confuse Godzilla fans.

Godzilla VS Mothra - a pair of environmentalist terrorists threaten Japan and bully Godzilla.

Godzilla VS Mechagodzilla - The Japanese government wastes money on a giant robot while Godzilla decides to adopt an orphan, despite interference from the orphan's step-brother.

Godzilla VS Spacegodzilla - Godzilla and a robot Mole battle a deformed, paedophilic King Ghidorah.

Godzilla VS Destoroyah - Godzilla dies from eating too much spicy food, while the Japanese Military kills Satan.

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe - Gamera finally becomes something other than a Godzilla ripoff, while Japan forgets what birds look like. Gamera murders an endangered species while laughing at the relatively poor quality of the Heisei Godzilla films. Meanwhile, the film crew is contacted by Godzilla's agent.

Gamera 2: Attack of Legion - an alien invasion is defeated by the JSDF. Features a brief cameo from Gamera.

Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris - tentacle sex.

The End of Evangelion - a teenage sex offender battles his giant colleague with a vagina in her forehead to prevent everyone on Earth from becoming orange juice. Godzilla realises that his future movies are going to be weird, but refuses to let a 14 year old masturbate to him.

Godzilla (1998) - an Iguana awkwardly recreates 9/11, while a German guy writes about how America is awesome and the French are to blame for everything.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by SuperPawnageGigan »

The Return of Godzilla: Godzilla's new hobby is bird watching
Godzilla vs Biollante: Godzilla's sister is born
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: Godzilla meets Back to the future/Doctor Who
Godzilla vs Mothra: Mothra's evil counterpart turns good
Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla II: Godzilla has a son and almosts dies
Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla: Godzilla meet's his evil Brother and his son is cute
Godzilla vs Destroyah: Godzilla dies, fights satan, and his son looks like him and dies and is revived and toho forgets about him after that
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by Lain Of The Wired »

Godzilla and his lice pals enjoy a nice cold Dr. Pepper
Godzilla gives botany a try, he doesn't like it...
Godzilla reaches out to a fellow radiation victim, it doesn't work out too well...
Godzilla and Mothra get pissed off.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by KaijuCanuck »

DVD: That thing attacks that other thing, and then you see the Tristar logo.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Post by SoggyNoodles2016 »

Godzilla vs Birds.

Genetic Engineering leads to a pissed off reptilian monster and clones. I repeat, #Speilberg'sahack

Doctor Who as a Godzilla movie.

A divorced couple and their daughter reunite their family after being involved in a death battle between two gods and a radioactive monster.

Questions we were supposed to ask: is life better then artifical life? What is family? Who is the real villan? Question we did ask: Why the fuck does the robot look like Godzilla?

And who says the Showa era ended?

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

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