Collie Wobbles

[edgaguirus]

It was chess in the park day, and everyone there was surprised that Varan hadn't shown up. He usually did for this event. When he did, he was pale.

" Are you feeling well," asked Biollante.

" You got here just in time," Monster X said. " Little Godzilla is just about to beat the pants off of Gabara."

" Hey! I've already lost my shirt. Let me at least keep my pants," Gabara replied.

" I'm ok," Varan answered. " I had to pass the old Shockirus estate on my way here. I saw the creepiest thing. It gave me the collie wobbles."

" I've been by that place," Biollnate said. " That house is spooked."

Gabara laughed. " You really believe in those things. There's no such thing as spooks."

" I saw an apparition from a window once. It looked just like old man Shockirus. That guy was a real louse," Monster X said.

" A vagrant kaiju," Gabara answered.

" I heard a voice calling to me from that house," Biollante added.

" The wind."

" I saw the door open, and the figure of old man Shockirus try and sell me questionable dental insurance," Little Godzilla said. " His rates were pretty good."

" That's......Um...Ok, I admit defeat on that one. But I still don't believe in spooks."

" If you went to the house, you would," Monster X said.

" Challenge accepted. I will spend the night in the house, all alone," Gabara proclaimed.

" I didn't make a challenge."

" I still accept it," Gabara replied. Gabara raised from his chair and went straight to the hills, where the old and feared house was situated. Monster X, Biollante, Little Godzilla, and Varan all looked at each other, uncertain if they should try to stop Gabara.

" He won't last one hour in there," Biollante said.


When morning came, Monster X went to Gabara's house. He was curious to see if the haunted house had changed Gabara's mind about spooks. Monster X was certain Gabara's adventure had filled him with the collie wobbles. Monster X knocked, but there was no answer. Monster X used his spare key and went in. Gabara was nowhere to be found. His bed hadn't been slept in. The kitchen was nice and clean, which freaked Monster X out more than his friend's disappearance. There wasn't a sign of Gabara at all.

Monster X called everyone to see if they had seen Gabara. No one had seen scale of hair of him. Monster X felt a fear growing inside of him. There was only one place he could be, but to look there made him shiver. Gabara must still be in the Shockirus house.

Outside of the old creepy house, four kaiju stood on the dying grass that made up the lawn. The house was two stories, and a mix of brick and wood. Most of the windows were broken or falling apart. It was an ungainly and ugly house, but the bird bath was quite pretty looking.

" We go in, find Gabara, and get out, " Monster X explained.

" But what if the ghost has done something to Gabara," Little Godzilla asked.

" Then we run, abandon Gabara, and enjoy the rest of our lives," Varan said.

" Don't be such a chicken," Biollante replied. She opened the door, which moaned loudly in the spooky silence.

" I feel like we're missing something," Little Godzilla said.

" Like what," Biollante asked.

" A cool looking van and a talking dog. Or shark."

" I suggest we split up," Monster X said. " Biollante and I will take and up stairs, and you two take the down stairs."


Varan quietly went into the kitchen. It was dusty and stale smelling, but he saw nothing that looked like a ghost. Varan walked along the tile floor and gazed at everything. He opened cabinets and cupboards, but there was no Gabara. Then he looked at the table, and saw a heaping plate of crackers. He hadn't seen them there before. " I haven't had my breakfast yet," he thought. He munched on a cracker, and it was good. " All it needs is some cheese."

Varan opened the fridge, but there was no cheese. He looked in the freezer, but it had no cheese either. He looked all over, but there wasn't a crumb or trace of any gouda, havarti, or cheddar anywhere. He was shaking and near panic. " Who does this? Who offers cracker, but no cheese?! What kind of muenster would do this?" Varan screamed, and then heard a laugh. He fled from the kitchen.

Little Godzilla ran to Varan. " What happened?"

" No cheese. No cheese. I cameberet."

" Ohhhhhhk," Little Godzilla said.



Upstairs, Biollante was in the long hallway. It seemed to go on forever, and cobwebs hung from the corners of the ceiling. " This place needs a maid," said said. Upon the walls were paintings of departed sea louse that had called this place home. She saw generation after generation of owners, but then the next painting caused her to freeze. The mere sight of it froze the sap in her veins. She found it hard to breath, gazing at the image of Abe Lincoln in biker shorts. She tore her eyes from it, but saw another one. Her secret phobia was played out all along the wall. " Jefferson! Harrison! Nixon!" Every frame showed an American leader in biker shorts. Her eyes finally froze upon the one she hoped to never see. It was a pure nightmare. " Not Taft! No!"

She felt a hand on her shoulder. It startled her. " It's me," Monster X said. " What scared you?"

" The paintings," she answered, hiding her eyes.

" I agree. I can't believe they wore suits like that in the 30s."

Biollante uncovered her eyes. The presidents were gone. It was all family portraits. " A moment ago they presidents in biker shorts."

" I think we should hurry and get out of here," Monster X said.


Back downstairs, Little Godzilla went into what looked like a study. There was a long bookcase on one wall, filled with books, records, and cobwebs. A desk sat near the window. There was a fireplace with a chair, which had a record player next to it, on the other wall, and there was a dying fire in the fireplace. " Gabara must have been in here."

The door slammed shut behind Little Godzilla. He jumped. Little Godzilla tried the door, but it wouldn't open. His attention was grabbed by the sound of something moving in the room. A record flew off of the bookcase, floating as if being carried by an invisible hand. It moved to the record player, and the arm was raised. Little Godzilla had no idea what to expect. The needle touched the record, and the music began. Little Godzilla heard the opening verses, and his face froze with fear. He could handle anything; jazz, metal, RB, but not this song. This song made his nerves rattle and brain hurt. It was the most terrifying song ever written, and he dreaded the coming chorus.

" It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world.'

He covered his ears as the song continued, but he could still hear every word. " Aughhhhhhhh!" Little Godzilla ran towards the door, and found it was unlocked. He swiftly shut the door.

Monster X, Biollante, and Varan found him pale and distressed. " What was it," they asked.

" It's a small world after all," he said, still shaking.

" It's the house," Varan replied. " It's attacking us with our greatest fears."


In town, Godzilla was grocery shopping at Beastmart. While on aisle 4, he met Gabara. " Hey Gabara, everyone has been looking for you."

" Really? What for?"

" They were wondering what had happened to you after being in the Shockirus house, and when they couldn't find you, they went into the spooked place to find you."

" I was on morning walk."

" Down the park trail?"

" Down by the tar pits. They're so lovely in the morning, and the smell of the bubbling tar reminds me of......"

" Yeah, that's nice," Godzilla said. " Good to see you're ok."


At the Shockirus house, Monster X and company made a straight line for the door. It wouldn't open. "I'll knock it down." Monster X ran at the door and hit it hard. He bounced off. " I think I just broke my arm."

A laugh filled the house. An image shimmered in the air before them, and it took shape. It was Shockirus, and the image grew larger and larger until it loomed over them. " Going already? You 4 just arrived, and I enjoy entertaining my guests."

" You let us out," Biollante demanded.

" Never! You will remain with me, and your fear will bring me joy."

" You can't scare me," Monster X said.

" I can't?

" I've worked with Gabara."

" You win," Shockirus answered. " Your companions, however, might enjoy a little party. I think they're just dying to see what I have in mind." A party scene appeared before their eyes, but it was filled with plates of food without cheese. The servers were Taft in biker shorts, and the music reminded all that it was a small world after all. The three screamed.

The door was thrown open, and Gabara stood looking in. " I have arrived."

" Gabara," Monster X said, " You're alright!"

" Of course I am."

" What happened here last night?"

" I arrived, explored the place, and then sat down in the study. The ghost appeared in front of me, but it did not give me the collie wobbles. I then told it a story, and it threw me out. Can you believe that? I know good manners are a dying art, but you'd still think a ghost would be civil."

" What are you doing here Gabara," asked Shockirus. " I told you not to return."

" I am here for my friends. Give them to me, or else."

" Never!"

" Allright, you force me to use force." Gabara cleared his throat. ' There was once an old house. That house had a leaky faucet..."

" No, Gabara! Not the story!"

" The faucet wet drip, drip, drip" The house shuddered.

" Drip, drip drip." The house shivered.

" Drip, drip." The house shook like an earthquake.

" Stop," Shockirus begged. " You may have them. Out!" A sudden and powerful wind blew hard and fast, sending them onto the dead lawn.

Biollante, Varan, and Little Godzilla looked about. They stopped screaming. " We're saved," Little Godzilla yelled.

" Thanks, honey," Biollante said to Monster X.

" It was Gabara, not me," Monster X said.

" Him," she asked. " How?"

" I simply told the ghost the scariest story I know. There was once an old house. That house had a leaky faucet that went drip, drip, drip, drip..."

All four kaiju shivered an shook. They ran, screaming, from Gabara. " Wait, I'm not done yet. Hello, writer. Would you like to hear the rest of my.... Writer, where are you going? Well, it looks like it's up to me to finish this story. And they all live happily ever after. The end."