What's your relationship status? (Relationship support thread)

[Fish Cakes]

So, if you're talking to a naturally shy girl and she lightly blushes while you're talking to each other how are you supposed to interpret it?

You should ask her out if you're interested, just don't stress on it too much. Be confident, people like that. If she says no, respect that, don't push. Rejection is part of all this. (Anything other than a "Yes." should be a sign to not push romance as well by the way, don't push to make a "Maybe." into a "Yes.")

You're fine asking for advice, I may not have much experience with specifically romantic relationships, but I am well-versed in boundaries, friendships, rejection (given and taken), and have been on quite a few dates over the past couple years.

Really disagree with your stance here, MM. You shouldn't discourage people just getting into the dating scene from seeking advice and help. Besides, I'm not sure if someone in a relationship like yours should be giving advice, unless I'm thinking of a different user?

[LSD Jellyfish]

I agree with MM, pretty much just ask and you shall know. The worst feeling is penting up feelings for someone, only to think they like you for a long ass time, and then it turns out they don’t feel the same way. One thing I’ve learned is to be quicker to the punch about these things.

Anyways I’m really finally content about living in japan cause I have a cool girlfriend. It’s just nice having someone to develop with and encourage me as well as a travel buddy. Next week we are driving up to Nagano prefecture to see the Yayoi Kusama art museum.

[Fish Cakes]

I agree with MM, pretty much just ask and you shall know. The worst feeling is penting up feelings for someone, only to think they like you for a long ass time, and then it turns out they don’t feel the same way. One thing I’ve learned is to be quicker to the punch about these things.

Anyways I’m really finally content about living in japan cause I have a cool girlfriend. It’s just nice having someone to develop with and encourage me as well as a travel buddy. Next week we are driving up to Nagano prefecture to see the Yayoi Kusama art museum.

Agreed. Getting rejected early and often softens the blows and strengthens the heart. Also was unaware he meant a friend, that changes things. Long-term friends are great to have. A worthwhile friend won't be weird about a crush or interest in dating if you're not in my experience. It comes back to confidence and respect.

Also, congrats on the steady girlfriend, LSD. Happy for you two! ^_^

[Spirit Ghidorah 2010]

how the hell would I know if she's even a kaiju fan

Talking usually helps. Look, I'm not trying to be THAT much of an asshole here, and God knows I've been in your shoes, but going to a forum populated by a bunch of nerds isn't going to get you the answers you're looking for. The only person that can do that is you. If there's feelings between either of you, they will come out. If they don't, well, oh well. There's plenty more. Just don't start posting like that Billzilla1974 chap, dude comes across as a stereotypical bad guy on an episode of L&O:SVU.

100% this.

I mean, if you're inbetween talking to a girl or not, what the hell kind of advice did you expect to get asking a thread there it seems 90% of the users who posted talk about being too shy/incapable to talk to girls? Seriously.

[master_of_monsters]

how the hell would I know if she's even a kaiju fan

Talking usually helps. Look, I'm not trying to be THAT much of an asshole here, and God knows I've been in your shoes, but going to a forum populated by a bunch of nerds isn't going to get you the answers you're looking for. The only person that can do that is you. If there's feelings between either of you, they will come out. If they don't, well, oh well. There's plenty more. Just don't start posting like that Billzilla1974 chap, dude comes across as a stereotypical bad guy on an episode of L&O:SVU.

100% this.

I mean, if you're inbetween talking to a girl or not, what the hell kind of advice did you expect to get asking a thread there it seems 90% of the users who posted talk about being too shy/incapable to talk to girls? Seriously.

probably actual advice since I never did this kind of thing before instead of getting freaked out on. Whatever though I guess I made a mistake, my apologies kind person

[Fish Cakes]

probably actual advice since I never did this kind of thing before instead of getting freaked out on. Whatever though I guess I made a mistake, my apologies kind person

Just talk to the girl like she's a dude you wanna be friends with because they're super cool and have cool interests and stuff? If you're attracted to someone based solely on appearance or surface-level personality, it's kind of a doomed thing unless you just want a one night stand or FWB type deal? My advice is, approach and ask them out like you would to hang out with a friend, just make your intentions and desires clear, be confident, be respectful if rejected. Also, if you are friends, there's a good chance this will hurt her and damage the friendship, but it's better to be honest and know for sure than pussyfoot around the idea.

I'm a girl, all my friends are girls, I know how to talk to girls, what's appreciated, not appreciated, all that. So again: You are TOTALLY GOOD ASKING FOR ADVICE, seeking knowledge is part of how you learn. I'm unsure why other people here are being discouraging?? Is there something I'm missing? Is stuff like this different for straight people?

[master_of_monsters]

probably actual advice since I never did this kind of thing before instead of getting freaked out on. Whatever though I guess I made a mistake, my apologies kind person

Just talk to the girl like she's a dude you wanna be friends with because they're super cool and have cool interests and stuff? If you're attracted to someone based solely on appearance or surface-level personality, it's kind of a doomed thing unless you just want a one night stand or FWB type deal? My advice is, approach and ask them out like you would to hang out with a friend, just make your intentions and desires clear, be confident, be respectful if rejected. Also, if you are friends, there's a good chance this will hurt her and damage the friendship, but it's better to be honest and know for sure than pussyfoot around the idea.

I'm a girl, all my friends are girls, I know how to talk to girls, what's appreciated, not appreciated, all that. So again: You are TOTALLY GOOD ASKING FOR ADVICE, seeking knowledge is part of how you learn. I'm unsure why other people here are being discouraging?? Is there something I'm missing? Is stuff like this different for straight people?

I'm straight and I don't get it either, regardless yeah I'm trying to gain her friendship. Turns out at least from what I've been able to learn from her so far, after talking with her some (I don't really get a lot of opportunities since she works in a different department from mine) and just general observations is her and I are actually pretty similar in overall personality and behavior which is kind of double edged since I'm pretty introverted and gradually developed a static facial expression and monotoned voice from years of emotional suppression. I do want to be with her though so I'll keep trying little by little.

[spinzilla]

6 years married in May. We are expecting our first child in June! I can't wait to be a dad.

[LSD Jellyfish]

6 years married in May. We are expecting our first child in June! I can't wait to be a dad.

Congrats!

Yes, introduce kids to Godzilla and expand the fanbase.

[gvamp]

Myself I'm currently single. I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now I just want to focus on other things in life so if it happens it happens I'm not in a rush. Though I should be I'm getting into my late 30s so I should probably start thinking about settling down soon. Then again a lot of men in Hollywood wait until their mid to late 40s to start having children.

[Destoroyah of Worlds]

6 years married in May. We are expecting our first child in June! I can't wait to be a dad.

That's wonderful.

Will you share Godzilla with your kid?

[Fish Cakes]

Anyone have that comic of the dad literally forcing his hobbies and franchises onto his baby?

[LSD Jellyfish]

Anyone have that comic of the dad literally forcing his hobbies and franchises onto his baby?

I will!

My dad was too, but it was different. Wasn't like it would be forced, but he'd watch stuff and invite me to watch it with him. The big difference though is my dad also watched what I wanted to watch with me, and made the road go both ways.

[Billzilla1974]

Talking usually helps. Look, I'm not trying to be THAT much of an asshole here, and God knows I've been in your shoes, but going to a forum populated by a bunch of nerds isn't going to get you the answers you're looking for. The only person that can do that is you. If there's feelings between either of you, they will come out. If they don't, well, oh well. There's plenty more. Just don't start posting like that Billzilla1974 chap, dude comes across as a stereotypical bad guy on an episode of L&O:SVU.

So venting about my frustrations for once instead of keeping it bottled up inside somehow makes me no better than a rapist & or a law & order villain of the week?

That is a huge stretch from what I initially posted.
In my original post I stated why I was frustrated, that I know about & respect personal boundaries, and lamented my lack of success in dating.
Not once in my post did I refer to women as objects or purposefully encourage any violent or sexist actions against women.
I even acknowledged that no one owes me a date simply for existing, I was just trying to let off some steam after a few recent bad experiences.

Perhaps the way I worded it came off as overdramatic & overly specific, but a Law & Order: SVU villain? Really?

[Mac Daddy MM]

So venting about my frustrations for once instead of keeping it bottled up inside somehow makes me no better than a rapist & or a law & order villain of the week?

Ever watch an episode? Ever listen to why most of them did the things they did? Some scary similarities there, my dude. If you can't find a relationship (in which I don't even know how old you are - you might not find a solid one for years to come), maybe you should just try getting laid.

[Fish Cakes]

maybe you should just try getting laid.

Says the cuckold.

[Mac Daddy MM]

maybe you should just try getting laid.

Says the cuckold.

Says the futa.

[Billzilla1974]

So venting about my frustrations for once instead of keeping it bottled up inside somehow makes me no better than a rapist & or a law & order villain of the week?

Ever watch an episode? Ever listen to why most of them did the things they did? Some scary similarities there, my dude. If you can't find a relationship (in which I don't even know how old you are - you might not find a solid one for years to come), maybe you should just try getting laid.

By your logic I can start calling you Joseph McCarthy, because I've never said anything that would warrant that assumption.
Pulling your morals from & making assumptions about people based on some TV show isn't a great idea.

I'm a 21 year old guy who is inexperienced & I need to work out my social skills. I said that I sometimes get annoyed by the double standards in dating, I don't hate women, just the double standards I've witnessed. I never blamed 'all women' for every misdead done to me, I just stated a few things that got on my nerves. It's not a bad thing to want a woman to put in an equal amount of effort in interacting/flirting as I would.

A potential rapist would perpetually blame women and refuse to accept that they are sometimes at fault & must change, I said in another post that I am willing to change and learn how to properly flirt and interact in a normal & respectful way.

Just because I wanted to vent doesn't mean I'm some kind of sexual assaulter nor do intend on becoming one.

[G2000]

This is fun

[Mac Daddy MM]

By your logic I can start calling you Joseph McCarthy, because I've never said anything that would warrant that assumption.
Pulling your morals from & making assumptions about people based on some TV show isn't a great idea.

I'm not pulling my morals from anything here, but judging by your reaction, you seem to have a pretty sizeable victim mindset. Just looking at your original posts detailing how it's the womens' faults for not taking interest in you despite everything you tried is further evidence of this. Again, I personally don't care about your personal life, but you're looking for answers in the wrong place. That, or you're looking for people to sympathize with your victim mindset, in which I just have no interest in doing.

So, again, I recommend you just try going out and getting laid.

I need to work out my social skills.

equal amount of effort in interacting/flirting as I would.

You can't expect a woman to put in equal effort in interacting and flirting if you're not good at it. And this isn't a good place to get advice for that. Again, as I said to that other guy, I've been in your shoes. If there's anything I'm saying here that you believe, this is it. Crying and begging for advice on a nerd-filled forum dedicated to a Japanese giant monster isn't going to get you anywhere. The only person that can help you is you. And maybe a wing man if you have any friends that can take you to a bar and "train" you. None of us here can do that.

I said in another post that I am willing to change and learn how to properly flirt and interact in a normal & respectful way.

This isn't the place you'll be able to do that, I'm afraid. As I said in a previous post, I'm not trying to be THAT much of an asshole. But the one lesson I've learned when I was in your shoes is that a solid dose of truth is the best answer. You are the only one that can change things. If you're socially awkward to girls, its because you're not trying to be yourself but instead the person you think they want you to be. Looks really have little to do with it. Its confidence. By the time I was 24, I weighed 240-some and I was still able to get laid pretty easily. Now I'm 31 and borderline settled down with a wonderful girlfriend and acting as a step daddy for her kids.

Try http://www.pof.com. It's a dating/hook up website. Doesn't cost anything and you can hone your "skills" at talking to girls on there. Some will even listen to your venting. It's what I used to use years ago when I didn't like going out and meeting girls in person. You'll find girls that just want sex to ones that are looking for more.