Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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Extreme Warhawk
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Extreme Warhawk »

I had a family friend die recently, I am trying to handle it in the best way possible. I will miss my friend, he was cool. One of my fishing buddies.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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Extreme Warhawk wrote:I had a family friend die recently, I am trying to handle it in the best way possible. I will miss my friend, he was cool. One of my fishing buddies.
Sorry for your loss.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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I had to talk my brother out of suicide the other day
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Destoroyah of Worlds »

I'm currently going through benzodiazepine withdrawal.

I just took a shower with the heat all the way up and still felt like i'm freezing.

Anxiety is on the fritz and it's at the worst it's ever been. My own father was making me flinch and shake at Thanksgiving.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by HedorahIsBestGirl »

I've been going through a rough patch with my depression ever since the COVID outbreak. Being unable to spend time with my friends has really taken a toll on me. I'm a paranoid fuck to begin with, so when my friends go a few days without contacting me I begin second-guessing whether they actually care about me and go on a downward spiral of negativity. I've been trying to keep myself preoccupied with writing, but it just hasn't been coming to me. With such little human interaction in my life, I don't have any inspiration to spur my writing. Stress over being in credit card debt and not making any money is getting to me, too.

I've also been drinking a lot more, including right now. I'd cut back on my drinking a lot, but this pandemic has got me drinking almost every day again. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually gives a shit about me and if I'll feel lonely for the rest of my life. This forum has honestly become one of the few good things in my life. TK, Doom Eternal, 007, Showa Godzilla, cooking and nature walks. That's what's keeping me going right now.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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HedorahIsBestGirl wrote:I've been going through a rough patch with my depression ever since the COVID outbreak. Being unable to spend time with my friends has really taken a toll on me. I'm a paranoid skreeonk to begin with, so when my friends go a few days without contacting me I begin second-guessing whether they actually care about me and go on a downward spiral of negativity. I've been trying to keep myself preoccupied with writing, but it just hasn't been coming to me. With such little human interaction in my life, I don't have any inspiration to spur my writing. Stress over being in credit card debt and not making any money is getting to me, too.
Have you considered calling them or face timing? I hate to be honest, or legit, but recently I've been calling all sort of people out of my past, friends from high school, former bosses and co-workers, and most of them are pretty receptive to have nice conversations and talking for a bit. I've been talking to people for hours on end!

But yeah, money and credit card debt is something to always worry about.
I've also been drinking a lot more, including right now. I'd cut back on my drinking a lot, but this pandemic has got me drinking almost every day again. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually gives a poop about me and if I'll feel lonely for the rest of my life. This forum has honestly become one of the few good things in my life. TK, Doom Eternal, 007, Showa Godzilla, cooking and nature walks. That's what's keeping me going right now.
I'm drunk as a skunk, five Kirin Lager's and a single All Free Tallboy. But yeah, the alcoholism is real. I suggest trying to find a silly hobby that you can do while inebriated. IE: I'm editing out manga panels for the next batch of translating.

Unrelated/but related, I got off a call with a few of my friends in NYC. I want to remind everyone, that all of this is temporary. The corona virus, and this fucked up existence we all inhabit is temporary. In a few months, vaccine or not, we will all return to a semblance of that formal normalcy. For that reason it's important to plan ahead, and in the meantime accomplish personal goals that you otherwise may not have been able to, due to the lack of free time.
Last edited by LSD Jellyfish on Wed Apr 22, 2020 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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Earlier today I went to see a Neuropsychologist to check if I have Aspergers.

I've got some good news: I don't have full-on ASD/Aspergers. My motor skills are great and my memory is pretty good.

However, I do have mild ASD in relation to the front of my brain which controls social behavior. It's something I already suspected because I looked up information on ASD several weeks ago and I checked off nearly every symptom relating to social behavior.

Other than that, the results showed that I am currently suffering from massive stress and depression (surprise, surprise), and I was requested at least two different counselors I can talk to in town if I decide to go with it.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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-snip-
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Major sssspielberg!
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Major sssspielberg! »

Last year my girlfriend and I had to get our baby terminated because he wasn't developing his organs inside his body.
At the time I was working a really demanding job that treated me like garbage, the vice president would literally yell and scream at me that I was a -------- piece of shit, and I was working 60+ hours a week. I pushed my body to the limit and fucked my back and ankle up.
Flash forward to today and I can barely stand up straight for more than 10 minutes before the pain kicks in, and it's crippling. I just started a job at Burger King and can barely make it thru a shift. I'm in my late 20s and only good for physical labor, which I can't do anymore.
My best friends have all left the state, my mom died 10 years ago this August, and on top of that I'm really wishing my son was here.
It's not that I want to kill myself, I'm just really starting to lose the will to keep going on.
If it wasn't for my girlfriend, a few friends I keep in contact with long distance, and this forum Idk what I would do.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Terasawa »

Hey man, really sorry for your loss. :(

I, too, ruined my back at a previous job and it's put me in a tough spot getting certain jobs now. Have you tried a chiropractor? At the very least it can provide short term relief.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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Major sssspielberg! wrote:Last year my girlfriend and I had to get our baby terminated because he wasn't developing his organs inside his body.
At the time I was working a really demanding job that treated me like garbage, the vice president would literally yell and scream at me that I was a -------- piece of poop, and I was working 60+ hours a week. I pushed my body to the limit and skreeonked my back and ankle up.
Flash forward to today and I can barely stand up straight for more than 10 minutes before the pain kicks in, and it's crippling. I just started a job at Burger King and can barely make it thru a shift. I'm in my late 20s and only good for physical labor, which I can't do anymore.
My best friends have all left the state, my mom died 10 years ago this August, and on top of that I'm really wishing my son was here.
It's not that I want to kill myself, I'm just really starting to lose the will to keep going on.
If it wasn't for my girlfriend, a few friends I keep in contact with long distance, and this forum Idk what I would do.

I am truly sorry to hear that friend, I know the feeling when your starting to lose the will to keep on going all to well. I am happy to hear you still have your girlfriend and at least few friends to keep you going. An you will always have support here on this forum as well. Your not alone and you should never have to feel like that. You have my best wishes that things will eventually turn around for the better.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Major sssspielberg! »

XxComablack1937xX wrote: I am truly sorry to hear that friend, I know the feeling when your starting to lose the will to keep on going all to well. I am happy to hear you still have your girlfriend and at least few friends to keep you going. An you will always have support here on this forum as well. Your not alone and you should never have to feel like that. You have my best wishes that things will eventually turn around for the better.
Terasawa wrote:Hey man, really sorry for your loss. :(

I, too, ruined my back at a previous job and it's put me in a tough spot getting certain jobs now. Have you tried a chiropractor? At the very least it can provide short term relief.
Thanks for the kind words y'all, I can't overstate how much i appreciate them. I know the fan community gets a bad rap sometimes but moments like this are why I love Kaiju people.
As far as a chiro goes, that junk is expensive! Lmao
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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All I've got to say is that I hope things get better for you and I'll keep you in my prayers.

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

Post by Voyager »

That is very sad to hear, I pray for you.

Anyways, my grandmother (73) has now entered intensive care with pneumonia. The doctor said that there's a large chance taht she's not going to make it, and that along with my personality disorder has really gotten to me.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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Major sssspielberg! wrote:Last year my girlfriend and I had to get our baby terminated because he wasn't developing his organs inside his body.
At the time I was working a really demanding job that treated me like garbage, the vice president would literally yell and scream at me that I was a -------- piece of poop, and I was working 60+ hours a week. I pushed my body to the limit and skreeonked my back and ankle up.
Flash forward to today and I can barely stand up straight for more than 10 minutes before the pain kicks in, and it's crippling. I just started a job at Burger King and can barely make it thru a shift. I'm in my late 20s and only good for physical labor, which I can't do anymore.
My best friends have all left the state, my mom died 10 years ago this August, and on top of that I'm really wishing my son was here.
It's not that I want to kill myself, I'm just really starting to lose the will to keep going on.
If it wasn't for my girlfriend, a few friends I keep in contact with long distance, and this forum Idk what I would do.
It's painful, but please don't give up. I admire your strength for enduring all this garbage. Just make sure that the few friends you are still in contact with, and your girlfriend know how much they mean to you. In the future, if possible, try to see if you can visit your friends.

I know this might sound silly, and I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries, but if it's possible, might there be a nearby community college you could take some classes in? Or get in a certification in? Devoting time to something productive (if you have the free time) might help the current pain and give you something to look forward to. It might also help with future employment if you do a two year business degree or something. If not, maybe take up a language class or something, just something to keep you motivated. Also good environments to make new friends in.
Last edited by LSD Jellyfish on Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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This has been a hell of a week. One of my best friends abruptly stopped talking to me and three of his other close friends for over a week. Then we found out he had stopped going into work, too, which is shocking because he has an insane work ethic. After trying and failing to get ahold of him via phone, email, Facebook and SnapChat, I showed up at his apartment uninvited and found him in a way I've never seen him before. Dude is totally depressed, tells me he feels like a total failure because he's 24 and made it nowhere in life, is stressed out because he's barely making ends meet financially and feels like everyone expects too much of him. He's just fucking fed up with life and the worst part is that when I talked to him and tried to give him advice on how to make him feel better I felt liked a lying hypocrite because the truth is, I feel the same way he does and I've just been in denial about it.

I have a degree in fucking media production and I'm working at a garden center in the middle of nowhere hickville Midwest where I get paid $11.25 an hour. I'm not happy and I'm starting to wonder if anyone actually is or if some people are just pretending better than others. I'm not trying to be edgy, I'm seriously starting to think that happiness as an adult is a fucking fallacy. I'm not happy. My mother isn't happy. My father isn't happy. None of my close friends are happy. My boss isn't happy. The two co-workers I hang out with aren't happy. Is anyone happy with their life? I'm not talking having happy moments now and again, I'm talking genuinely content and satisfied with where they are in life?

There used to be a lot of things that made me happy. Watching TV, playing video games, writing, cooking, fishing... none of it makes me happy anymore. I do it just to keep my mind off of things but I don't actually enjoy it. The only thing I still enjoy is drinking, which is why I've been doing it every night for the past month. Whatever fake bliss I find in a bottle is better than anything I can manage while sober. I've been screaming internally almost non-stop for the past week. I don't know how much more I can take. Pretty soon I'm gonna follow my friend's example and just cut myself off from everyone.
Last edited by HedorahIsBestGirl on Tue Jun 16, 2020 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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HedorahIsBestGirl wrote:I have a degree in fucking media production and I'm working at a garden center in the middle of nowhere hickville Midwest where I get paid $11.25 an hour.
I was in pretty much the same place at that age. I mean, replace hickville Midwest with a small college town on California's Central Coast, but I had a degree in film and video, I was the superstar of the photocopy department at the local Office Depot, I was sharing a crappy apartment with a friend in mostly the same boat, and most of my off hours were spent re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer with friends (and occasionally crewing on a shoot for people who were still in school).

After that, my first attempt at really getting my life together involved teaching SAT prep part time and working in academic advisement at U.C. Irvine for awhile. I could have moved to full time at U.C.I., and would probably still have a job there now, which would have been... stable and responsible, but still wouldn't have brought me particular joy.

When I was 26, a couple of friends and I finally decided to get a place together in LA, and I started off pretty much at the very bottom of the ladder in the entertainment industry, as a reality TV transcriber ($100 per day in 2005). Stuck around at that company for six years, and over that time I managed to make myself a relatively big fish in that small pond (from transcriber to tape librarian and production equipment manager, from there to assistant editor, and from there to lead assistant editor, as well as directing/shooting/editing video greeting cards for their side business). And after that, I was able to move onto working for Discovery in my early 30s. Now, heck, I've got a post production supervisor credit on a theatrical release, and I'm at a company that's desperate to keep me on as a full time supervisor/consultant, even though I'm moving out of state!

And, along the way, I've made connections with a lot of cool, talented people who have helped me out with my personal projects and given me ample opportunity to work with them on theirs. And, other than my marriage, that's been the best thing that ever happened in my life.

And, yeah, now at 41 things aren't entirely where I want them to be, but I have an amazing support system in place to help me pursue bigger dreams; and even if I never get there, I'm having an interesting ride.

I guess the point I'm trying to ramble my way into is that, despite what a lot of people will have you believe, you don't have to have your whole life together straight out of college. Keep your eye out for opportunities, put yourself out in the world, find the things you're excited to do, but don't do it because you feel pressure; do it because you want to.
Last edited by eabaker on Tue Jun 16, 2020 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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eabaker wrote:I guess the point I'm trying to ramble my way into is that, despite what a lot of people will have you believe, you don't have to have your whole life together straight out of college. Keep your eye out for opportunities, put yourself out in the world, find the things you're excited to do, but don't do it because you feel pressure; do it because you want to.
To add to this: for almost any job*, always, always, always put as much of your heart into it as is healthy. A great work ethic goes a long way towards getting noticed, no matter the career. You just have to hope the right people will notice your effort and reward you for it.

*"almost" because there are places and people that will exploit your effort. Keep an eye out for these and try your best to avoid them. It's not hard to spot them.
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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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Re: Depression And Mental Health Support Thread

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ROMG4 wrote:-snip-
Lot to unpack here, but:
-Good you've admitted to others and most importantly yourself that "something isn't right" and you've seeked help.
-College is super difficult and draining at times, I know it's cliche to say "it gets better", but when I was in junior year of college I was in rock bottom and thought I would never do anything in life, and I managed to fix things and things are better now. There's always a chance to fix things, even if they feel the worse they have ever been. Good luck to you and your endeavors, and it's good based on the last comment is great.
-Similar to the issue of college, a lot of my own awkwardness (that I've gotten over!) has caused me a lot of issues in the past. You talk about doing bad things/maybe getting accused of things. While I've never done anything bad bad, I've made inappropriate comments (that weren't meant to be) in the past, or have said things that were completely misunderstood than what was intended. I think rather than boil up and say "oh yeah they're wrong for saying or misunderstanding me", it's better to just try to be more careful and work on being a better communicator. It's something I've worked on a lot in college, and now I work as a high school teacher so clearly it's something that's fixable!
-We currently live in an increasingly negative world, and while I think it's important to address and tackle these issues, I also understand that they can be incredibly overwhelming and contribute to other issues. I do agree we need to focus and pay attention to some of the greater things.
Last edited by LSD Jellyfish on Sat Aug 01, 2020 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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