Author: Alex Williams | Banner: Lucas C. Gabet

Table of Contents:
Chapter 1: It Seems Today
Chapter 2: G-Fest
Chapter 3: A New Friend
Chapter 4: Destoroyah Days
Chapter 5: The Diagnosis
Chapter 6: Peter’s Obsession
Chapter 7: The Breakup
Chapter 8: Reflections
Chapter 9: Attack Titan vs. Destoroyah: Rollercoaster Rumbling
Chapter 10: A Griffin Resolution

Chapter 1: It Seems Today

The living room of a seemingly average suburban household was quiet, devoid of any noise whatsoever. In the middle of the colorful room, a piano oddly sat between the purple couch and the TV. It was as if someone was intending to play in front of an unseen audience.

Sliding in from the right, a woman with fair skin and red hair, sat at the piano, opening her mouth to start a song she knew from the heart.

“It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV.”

Her fingers hitting the keys matched the rhythm of her voice, eliciting a popular and catchy tune that anyone could recognize in a heartbeat. She smiled softly, entranced by the bliss her creation conveyed as a jolly fat man joined in from the left. He smiled at his beloved and joined in on their weekly tradition.

“But where are those good old fashioned values?”

As if on cue, the rest of the household joined in, consisting of two ugly teenagers, an insufferable mutt, and a baby whose personality changes every three years. All of them shared their affinity for their weekly tradition.

“On which we used to rely?”

All six of them ripped their clothes, revealing not gold uniforms but outfits from the citizens of Infant Island. The men, including the dog, all had their heads covered with white feathered hats. Meanwhile, the women had their hair dyed black as they became almost identical to the Shobijin’s outfits.

The entirety of the cultural appropriation group danced, continuing their shtick by conveying an intense amount of happiness. The family maneuvered their way up the bronze steps while fountains shot out gold, synching up with each of their movements.

“Lucky there’s a family guy! Lucky there’s a man who positively can do all the things that make us ….”

Halfway at their ascension, Lois grabbed a hold of her youngest and brought him up to a camera tracking them. Stewie glared at the camera and went to speak.

“Laugh and cry!”

The family reached the top and continued singing the bits of the song, posing in place as they all screamed out the final four words.

“He’s a family guy!”

 

Chapter 2: G-Fest

The day had come.

The start of a weekend where fans of Godzilla and everything Kaiju can gather around in a cramped hotel. A place many relished to be at while others feared the horrors conjured up. For every heartwarming memory a fan may achieve with their favorite actor signing their Godzilla’s Revenge poster, another loses their sense of smell from the stench of the unwashed.

But residents from a small town in Rhode Island were determined to explore the one major convention Tokusatsu had to offer, they had to know what it was like. The reality of the congregation was upon them as they all inspected their respective costumes and observed their surroundings.

Grabbing a hold of the darkened charcoal suit, Peter inched forward before taking a deep breath. “I’m loving this costume, but it’s friggin’ heavy.”

He peaked through the narrow neck and further fidgeted with his costume, making sure it was in proper order. Cleveland, in a similar costume, except with a bronze horn on top and an elongated face, spoke up. “You really should have slimmed the costume down. Like what I did with my Black King costume.”

“Shut up, Cleveland! I got this!” Peter barked out, continuing to tune his costume up. “My Shin Godzilla is going to win this easily!”

“I don’t know, Peter,” Joe said, retracting his light blue helmet as he sat in his wheelchair fully repurposed to look like Kamen Rider Ichigo’s Cyclone. “It’s not in character for Shin Godzilla to have a case of alcohol strapped to each side.”

“Nice motorbike, dick!” a man in a Shin Kumo Augment costume blurted out, walking by the group with Hachi and Sasori Augments trailing behind him.

Joe placed his hand on his heart, smiling at the Shocker cosplayers, feeling enamoured by their supposed praise. “Why thank you!”

Peter rolled his eyes, annoyed by his friends’ observations as he placed his hands on his massive hips. “Hey, if people can make Covid a part of their costumes, then I can headcanon Shin Godzilla as an alcoholic!”

“Uh, Peter, I don’t think they were trying to acknowledge that kaiju had it.” Joe frowned, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Joe’s right, I don’t even think they allow alcohol,” Brian pointed out, lifting up his eyepatch, allowing his left eye to see for a moment. He then brushed his white labcoat, making sure there were no wrinkles on it.

“Whatever, I’m still going through with my vision.” Peter stepped forward and observed the bulk of the convention in front of him.

People moved through the halls at a snail’s pace, shuffling into different rooms of wonders while others clogged the area by posing together for photos. Kids were running around and bashing their figures of their favorite kaiju together, having the time of their life.

The fat man couldn’t help but smile through the narrow neck of his costume, with a small tear shedding out of his eye. “All of this….. People coming together for their love of Tokusatsu because of four men inventing radiation.”

His group of friends dropped their jaws at what Peter just conveyed. They were baffled, taking a few moments before any one of them could conjure up a response. Brian let his eyepatch rest over his eye once more before finally finding the words.

“Peter, there are so many things wrong with that statement, we’d be here all day if I explained them to you,” Brian barked out in annoyance over his best friend’s ignorance.

“Okay, explain them,” Peter relayed, crossing his arms together.

“Well, first of all…” Brian tried to speak about the entire history leading up to the original Godzilla’s film creation, however, he was completely blanking. Upon realizing he didn’t know the history either, he grew furious. “Nevermind, I’m taking this!”

The insufferable dog snatched a bottle from Peter’s left side and walked away, immediately downing its contents. Joe and Cleveland shook their heads in disgust as Peter smiled back at his friends. “Ah, so what are we doing first, gang?”

“Hey, look! It’s that black asshole!” a voice screamed out, alerting the group’s attention.

Peter pointed to himself, feeling incredibly worried about receiving hostile attention. As far as he’d known, he hadn’t done anything to offend anyone. He just wanted to celebrate his newfound love of Tokusatsu by spending several grand on merchandise.

His gaze shifted over to the culprits, all of them dressed up as silver men with red stripes and patterns adorned across their bodies while blue timers were plastered on their chests. Then, they all screamed out in unison, barging towards the group, throwing their hands up as they intended to strike down their target.

The fat man closed his eyes, bracing for the inevitable as he readied himself for the pain the spacemen were about to unleash upon him. Only it didn’t come for him, but instead, for his good friend as Cleveland cried out in agony.

“Ah! What the hell!?”

The Black King cosplayer cried as one of the Ultras kicked him in the stomach, sending him crashing into the beige colored wall. The resulting impact left a large dent in a wall as Cleveland soon slid to the floor while pieces of the structure crumbled on top of him.

“Don’t let up, boys!” one of the Ultras issued, delivering a kick to Cleveland’s side. “We’re not letting this bastard get away with it!”

“Ow!” Cleveland screamed out again as another cosplayer ripped the horn from the costume and slammed it into his back. “Why!? Why!?”

“For helping the fuckin’ Nackle kill Aki and Ken, you sick bastard!” an Ultra cried out, barely able to get his message across from being overwhelmed with sadness. All of them were still remembering the tragic event they had witnessed several years ago on their televisions.

“It was just a show!” Cleveland bleated while more and more punches struck his body, pieces of his costume completely deteriorating, revealing only the man inside.

“Not to us!” the head Ultra shouted, kicking Cleveland’s pudgy stomach, eliciting a horrific gag from him. He grabbed Cleveland by the head, bringing him closer to his own, staring deeply in his eyes. “Not to us!”

Peter and Joe turned over to each other and shrugged, watching the kerfuffle. “We’ll meet back up, Cleveland. Have fun with your new friends!”

“No! No! No!” Cleveland shrieked, reaching out for his now departing friends, leaving him to the complete mercy of the strangers assaulting him.

***

“I know what I’m talking about when it comes to Godzilla and….” Brian muttered between sips from the bottle, going down the various halls, but couldn’t finish his statement when he came across a familiar figure. He saw a baby shaped figure draped in a pink alien-like costume. Had it been anyone else, he would have brushed it off, but the familiar football-shaped head made him immediately know who it was.

“Stewie?” the alcoholic dog barked out in surprise, still keeping his gaze on the infant’s choice of costume.

“Hey Bri.”

“I… I don’t understand….. Weren’t you going as the kid from Gabora’s Revenge?’ Brian questioned, feeling the effects of intoxication already hitting him.

Stewie groaned, frowning behind the helmet at his friend’s idiotic question. Despite being at a convention for Tokusatsu, he felt embarrassed by someone getting something as obvious as a Godzilla title mixed up with a kaiju from the Ultra series. “First off, it’s Godzilla’s Revenge.”

“Oh yeah!” Brian called out before taking another drink. “I knew it!”

“No you didn’t,” Stewie remarked, feeling himself more and more annoyed by his behavior. “And second of all, it felt too obvious to me. I wanted to spice it up by going as a pink Mysterian.”

“There are no pink Mysterians,” Brian replied, feeling himself being lucid for a brief moment, slightly picking himself back up to deduce on why he was dressed that way.

“Not that you know of!” Stewie yelled, gripping his hands in anger before remembering to calm himself down. He took a deep breath before addressing the dog once more. “I imagine this is what Mysterian women dress themselves as. A bright, magnificent pink to light up the dark path their entire life has been traversing down as they search for a home.”

Brian blinked at Stewie’s declaration, completely feeling himself at a loss. “What?”

“You’re an idiot,” Stewie huffed, as he then gagged at the smell of alcohol coming off of the dog’s breath. It was so potent that it completely bypassed the helmet and into his very nose. “How much did you drink!?”

“I think… I had… about five shots before it started….” Brian stammered, feeling himself losing his footing, yet still conscious enough to scan the entire room they were in. “You think there are any women here I can hook up with?”

“At a Godzilla convention!?” Stewie hollered out in outrage at how low he can really go. Between his drinking and quest for a quick lay, it was making him tolerate his best friend less and less. “You’d have better luck trying to hook up with a streamer!”

“Yeah…. But Quagmire is doing it just fine,” Brian hiccuped, pointing to the direction where their neighbor was.

“Hehe, alright!” Quagmire exclaimed, dressed up as the Azumi royal god, King Caesar, as his eyes were covered by glowing red contacts. He walked between two women dressed up in colorful wolf costumes with his arms wrapped around their backs. The creep walked past the two, making their way towards their room.

“Okay, I guess furries are the exception and not the rule.”

***

“What’s on the agenda before the screenings?” Joe asked, pushing his hands against the wheels of his chair, with the two of them passing by several guests partaking in several activities.

“I was thinkin’ maybe the dealers’ room to see what kind of merch they have,” Peter relayed, scooting past a couple of cosplayers dressed up as the cast of Evangelion admiring statues of Ultraman Mebius and Mefilas placed in the hallway. “I figure it’d be a good way to go before the annual screenings of Megaguirus and the Legendary films.”

“I don’t know about the dealer’s room, I’ve heard some awful things about it,” Joe murmured, concerned about the prospect of venturing into such a dreaded spot. “Sure we can’t look at fan art instead?”

They scooted past another person carrying equipment heading towards an empty room to do his presentation. He held a 1955 Godzilla figure in his free hand and had a sign sticking up, reading ‘Gigantis, the Fire Monster: A Brief 12 Hour Review’.

“Can’t,” Peter answered bluntly, briefly glancing over at a strange, rather obscure creature. Its grey bumpy body contrasted with its gold plated stomach. The being had two sharp horns on its head while it normally glared, but for his appearance at this convention, he conveyed a different emotion.

Sadness.

In his hands, he held a sign.

‘A son will not be punished for his father’s sins. Love, Pulgasari.’

“This convention hates people being creative,” Peter elaborated regarding the erasure of the art gallery, stopping just in front of a door.

“We’re at the dealer’s room, aren’t we?” Joe spoke, realizing exactly where his friend led him to.

“We’re at the dealer’s room,” Peter blankly answered before yanking the door open to reveal the massive crowd filling their pockets with merch.

The two walked in only to be greeted with a massive stench, forcing them to pinch their noses during the duration of their tour. They conducted their search for appealing merch, scanning the diverse amount of booths set up.

Figures ranging from Bandai to Super 7 to Hiya were placed on several different vendor tables. All of them were constantly gazed at by the convention’s many attendants, with some of them even licking their lips at their colorful and rich designs.

Peter and Joe’s eyes lit up at the Mondo booth, bolting towards it. “Alright, posters!” Joe screamed, grabbing a hold of a couple from the Showa era. He couldn’t help but admire the detail thrown at them, not only faithfully recapturing the look of the movies, but providing their own spin on them.

“That’ll be two grand for the posters,” the vendor spoke, as Joe eagerly handed him a huge wad of cash.

“Ooh! Ooh! I’ll take this Linocut Mechagodzilla and the soft figure set of Godzilla and Hedorah!” Peter excitedly declared as the operator simply frowned at him.

“We just sold out,” the vendor spoke, placing an ‘Out of stock’ sign in front of him.

Peter hung his head down and walked away in disappointment.

Off in the distance, a 2004 Movie Monster Series Monster X stood there, looking up at the many, many guests eyeing at it. Some raised their eyebrows while others rubbed their fingers over their chests at it as the figure nervously gulped. It glanced over at its nearby friend, a 1991 The Godzilla Collection Mechani-Kong.

“I’m scared,” the figure spoke in a high pitched nervous voice.

“Don’t worry, my friend,” the Mechani-Kong figure said in a lower pitched voice, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “As long as you got your three-hundred dollar tag on you, you’ll be safe.”

“Yeah….” the Monster X toy breathed out in relief, clutching the tag wrapped around its body. “I got my tag. No one in their right mind will spend that much on me.”

“Before you know it, we’ll be back inside a box safe for another year,” Mechani-Kong rationalized, standing proud at their future prospects.

“Um…….” a nasally voice spoke, correcting the position of his glasses before glancing down at the two, obscuring the majority of his face with a green hoodie. “I’ll take both of them for six-hundred.”

Both figures gulped at the reality they were now cast in.

The dealer cut their tags off with scissors and handed the two off to the customer. The duo looked up at their new owner, breathing rapidly out of fear as the man smiled, bringing them closer to his face.

“The two of you are going to kiss for my upcoming video.”

Their non-existent hearts sank.

They both ushered screams of pure horror as the nerd walked away with them, smiling at the content he was about to create with his newest purchases.

On the other side of the convention, Joe flipped through several posters ranging from the Showa to Reiwa eras. There were some that intrigued him, but not enough for him to purchase any. The Kamen Rider cosplayer frowned, deeply upset by the removal of the artist’s alley outside of his brief excitement with Mondo.

Breathing a sigh of defeat, Joe wheeled over to his friend, currently occupying himself with a table containing questionable merchandise. “Find anything, Peter?”

“So far nothing,” Peter answered, turning his attention to his friend. “A lot of these booths just contain stuff I can get cheaper at the site Redditors cry for everyone to boycott.”

The alcoholic Shin Godzilla browsed the current booth he was visiting, perusing the items up for sale. Every item was either a DVD or VHS tape, yet something was off about them. They were either scratched up, containing art that was completely inaccurate to the film they belonged to or reduced to being a black spine.

“Hmm…. nothing is speaking to me….” Peter murmured, placing his hand up to his chin, rubbing it slowly. “I can just pirate all of these.”

The fat man glanced back at the table, making sure to take one last look before departing. His eyes scanned every film presented, all of which still didn’t appeal to him. Peter let out a sigh until his eyes reached one unlike any other on display.

His mouth widened in shock, letting out a gasp.

“Oh my god!”

Peter jumped up and down raising his arms up in excitement. “Backdoor Sluts 10: The Last Viagra!”

“Wait, what!?” Joe nearly spat out, eyes widening in shock upon seeing the cover of the DVD. “Why is porn being sold at a Godzilla convention?”

“I don’t know but this convention officially kicks ass now!” Peter exclaimed, reaching forward to grab the first piece of his haul. However, to his dismay a large scythe cut him off, placing its appendage over the naughty film.

“Woah! Excuse me buddy, but I found this first!” Peter declared before locking eyes with the culprit, realizing exactly who it was.

His anger grew exponentially.

Ernie the Giant Chicken stood before him, matching the fat man’s glare. Unlike previous appearances, the avian’s appearance was far different. His eyes were replaced with a glowing red visor as was his comb, replaced by grey spikes. The feathers on his body were shaved off and replaced with green and bronze skin, with a buzzsaw plastered on his belly. Finally, the cyborg brandished his scythes together, ushering for Peter to resume their longrunning conflict.

“Oh, you’ve asked for it!” Peter firmly declared, taking a step forward when a young woman dressed up as a giant cockroach with drills for hands ran up to him.

“But dad, I already killed him last season!” Meg called out, bashing her drills together, completely baffled by her father’s nemesis still alive.

Peter sighed, annoyed by his daughter’s interruption. He turned around to face her with great disappointment. “Shut up, Megalon.”

The Giant Chicken shrieked, slamming his right scythe down towards Peter’s head. The fat man instinctively reared his body back, dodging the swipe before elbowing his daughter, sending her flying into a nearby booth. Shelves of toys collapsed on top of Meg, ripping apart her delicate and expensive costume.

Peter roared out in fury, swinging his body around, bringing his costume’s extremely long tail against the Chicken’s chest. The rubber material of his tail sent Ernie crashing against the wall, stunning him. The head of the Griffin household charged forward, ramming his body into his nemesis, breaking through the wall.

Concrete exploded out into the hallway, striking several guests while the two combatants crashed onto the ground. People screamed out in terror while the two adversaries picked themselves up and exchanged blows. Peter slammed his fist into the chicken’s chest before Ernie retaliated by slamming his scythe on to the fat man’s head, tearing straight through the rubber and striking his skull.

Blood spurted out of his head like a volcano, forcing Peter to cry from the gaping wound. The Shin Godzilla fan slammed his head down and bit down on the cock’s throat, tearing away flesh and circuitry. Ernie gurgled, feeling his body temporarily stalling from the loss of a few pieces in his system, however, the rage inside compelled him to continue his longstanding feud.

The cyborg slammed his scythes down once more, striking Peter’s shoulders, drawing more and more blood. Peter felt his vision weakening, stirring around, seeing his nemesis repeatedly bash his costume away and into his flesh. Soon, his body will give out in its entirety and his life will cease to be.

All of his hopes and dreams would be for nothing, taken away by a chicken he could never kill. He felt like a failure, knowing only Meg could kill his archnemesis. Peter briefly considered closing his eyes, letting darkness take him so he may move on to the next life.

He envisioned his next life as a Skeleturtle, completely devoid of any motivation, just to sit there for eternity. The skeleton turtle sat there smiling at the horizon, chuckling at the life he had now reincarnated into.

“Hehehe. I’m a dead Ninja Turtle.”

The sun rose up from the vista, cascading him with light, blanketing his white bones with a cream-like color, gaining his attention. His mouth quivered upon realizing its identity.

There was no sun and he was not a Skeleturtle!

It was the copy of the film he had been craving. It smiled for him, ushering for him to continue on with his fight. Miraculously, his entire body reformed back to the fat drunk idiot everyone knew and kinda hated.

Peter nodded his head and smiled, knowing he will continue fighting on for his beloved.

The fat man snapped himself back awake, facing upwards at his rival. The chicken slammed his scythe down towards Peter, but in the nick of time, the fat man grabbed a hold of it. Ernie gasped in shock while Peter smirked at him.

Feeling a rush of energy surging through him, Peter tightened his grip onto the scythe, crushing it, eliciting a shriek of agony from the cyborg. Distracted by the destruction of his foe’s appendage, he took the opportunity to push his opponent away.

The Giant Chicken stumbled backwards, attempting to regain his momentum while Peter slowly picked himself up. He acknowledged that he still felt like crap after the splitting headache he received, but thankfully, he was prepared with the perfect remedy.

Snatching up a couple of beers from both sides, he downed them, absorbing their content and feeling the pain subside. Peter, temporarily curing his ailments, bashed his fists together and remembered something he saw in a movie recently.

The fat man stumbled backwards, eyeing his staggering target before he leapt up, folding his body upwards and shooting across the hallway with his tail supporting his entire weight. Peter laughed throughout the whole charge, turning his head for a moment to look at the reader with a huge smile on his face.

“Hehehehehe. I got into the KWC before Godzilla Earth.”

Peter’s feet slammed into the chicken’s chest, sending them both crashing through yet another concrete wall.

In the next room over, a panel was being held covering a wide range of topics as the host spoke up. “As clearly discussed, Rhyuhei Kitamura wanted to destroy all previous Godzilla movies with his own.”

The crowd erupted in applause at the info being conveyed with one person screaming at the top of his lungs. “Yeah! Godzilla sucks!”

It simmered down for a moment before the host spoke up once more. “And of course, this didn’t stop Godzilla for long as he made his grand theatrical return in 2014.”

The audience once again roared out in joy, clapping repeatedly at the simple exchange of information as the same guy screamed, “Long live the king!”

“And now I present to you, Don Frye!” the host spoke, eliciting another round of applause.

The muscular man walked up with his cowboy hat and giant mustache, taking the microphone away from the host to address the crowd. He cleared his throat, allowing his chain smoking voice to be heard by everyone. “Listen up, libtards. There are two things you don’t know.”

Don paused, causing the one guy to make a small gasp, his mind racing with possibilities on what the two hidden pieces of knowledge could be. The rest of the audience leaned forward in their seats, eagerly awaiting what he had to announce.

“One is that the government waited until the majority of the World War 2 vets died to make their move to socialism. And the other is….. my appearance in Godzilla X Kong: Supernova!”

In a millisecond, the entire crowd gave a series of applause as that same man screamed out in pure joy. “Gordon really is the best character!”

“The Monsterverse is saved at last!” roared a second, finally seeing hope in the cinematic universe.

“Get socialism off the menu!” a third voice cried out, inspired by the man’s insane ramblings.

The actor went to bow when Peter and Ernie crashed through the panel, knocking Don Frye off the stage, evoking a high pitched scream from the fall. The fat man elbowed the chicken’s throat, extracting a gag from him. The cyborg responded by slamming his metallic foot into the crotch of Peter.

Peter coughed, feeling as if his groin exploded, briefly forcing him to place his hands over it. The head of Griffin household bashed his head against the chicken’s very own, both of them feeling disorientated for a moment.

Their heads cleared up in seconds before charging at each other and resuming their conflict. Each one of them delivered a volley of punches and kicks, tearing each other to pieces. Skin was torn off, revealing more circuitry underneath the chicken while Peter’s costume was torn apart, revealing his average white t-shirt and green pants.

Ernie shrieked once more, his red visor glowing brighter and brighter before he fired off his laser knife. The red beam struck Peter square in the chest, sending him flying through another set of walls and into the hallway of several cosplayers showing off their costumes. All of which were made with pride and joy.

The cyborg bolted towards the recovering Peter, brandishing his remaining scythe and revved up his universal cutter, intending to cut his arch nemesis up into pieces once and for all. The fat man squealed, scurrying away, pushing people away, allowing them to be caught in the crosshairs.

Screams were heard as the entirety of their bodies were shredded, splashing blood all over the cyborg chicken. The amount of bodies Peter threw at them did nothing to deter Ernie, as his cutter was the definition of cutting edge material.

Peter began sweating rapidly, his options for human shields were running out and soon he’d be next. The fat man rapidly darted his eyes around until he saw a cosplayer dressed up in a massive Battra larva figure waddling towards them, intending to be a part of the parade.

A lightbulb went off over his head, allowing Peter to rush over to him and hitch a ride on his back. “Hey, what the!?” the cosplayer called out, confused as to why the degrading Shin Godzilla hopped on his back. He attempted to shake Peter off of him, but it was no use as both the weight of his costume and Peter prevented it from happening.

The cosplayer heard the noise of a saw going off and turned his head only to find his life ending tragically. The universal saw cut through the material, shredding the rubber and splitting its remaining pieces alongside the cosplayer’s organs, mixing them into a gory mess.

Peter smirked at his rival being too occupied trying to shred through his newfound steed, briefly tapping the horn of the Battra costume. He winced in pain, noticing blood dripping from his finger before smiling, knowing exactly how he can gain the upperhand.

The Shin Godzilla fan, with all of his might, reared the Battra head backwards, allowing the Giant Chicken to progress further with his saw. Peter huffed, still leaning the head backwards, watching the cyborg step closer and closer towards him.

Peter roared, lowering the head slightly before slamming it upwards into the chicken’s chin, all the way through the top of his head.

SQUISH!

Ernie stalled as he gagged, blood seeping from out of his mouth, eyeing his foe smirking at him. He couldn’t even ponder his oncoming death as Peter lifted the horn of the dark moth, ripping the chicken’s head away from his body with his spinal cord following suit.

The universal cutter ceased with his headless body soon collapsing onto the ground. Peter allowed the head of the costume to be released from his grasp, now focused on breathing. The fat man took his time before dropping down from the dead cosplayer, planting his feet on the blood soaked carpet.

He looked around at the damage he helped cause, taking note of all the dead bodies littered around him. Peter nervously tugged his white shirt before looking over at a nearby mirror, noticing his costume largely destroyed save for the left piece of his head, a couple of spines and his extremely lengthy tail.

“Ah, damnit! He ruined my costume!” Peter cried out in annoyance.

He went to discard the remnants of his costume when a voice enthusiastically called out. “Congratuations, sir! Your form five Shin Godzilla costume has won the contest!”

Peter gasped, happiness overwhelming his entire body, compelling himself to do a little victory dance in celebration for his three victories.

For finally killing his arch nemesis.

For winning the costume contest.

For securing Backdoor Sluts 10.

The fat man jumped repeatedly, raising one arm upwards to his head with each bounce while he laughed.

 

Chapter 3: A New Friend

“Kids, have you seen yah fatha?” Lois asked, rubbing her hands against her long, curly blonde hair as she approached all of them huddled around each other.

A bumpy red, white, and blue object rolled around to face her, revealing himself to be Chris dressed up as the reality warper known as Bullton. “He said he was catching up with an old friend of his.”

The matriarch of the Griffin household scanned the area they were standing in of the convention before spotting him conversing with a masked man, immediately rolling her eyes to see who he was talking with.

“Wow! Jason Voorhees!” Peter exclaimed happily, holding onto his movie and the prize he received for the costume contest. The entire film reel of Half Human alongside a badge, reading ‘Winner by default.’

“What are you doing here!?”

“The family and I are huge Tokusatsu fans,” Jason chuckled, feeling slightly humored by his excitement as he raised his hand upwards.

“Oh, that’s awesome!? Who’s Justin dressed up as?” Peter asked, looking around for the cool costume.

“Why don’t you look for yourself?” Jason said, pointing his machete to Peter, motioning for him to turn around.

The fat man complied only to find a small, fat Ultraman Belial staring up at him. It took a moment for Peter to process it, observing his figure, his rotting flesh body poking through the black and red suit. Justin breathed heavily, awaiting a response from his dad’s acquaintance.

Like a download finishing, it finally dawned on Peter, evoking a scream in the process. The reality of a fat Belial existed right before his very eyes, forcing him to turn back to the iconic slasher. He scratched the back of his head, nervously chuckling as he didn’t want to offend the horror icon by saying his son was too fat.

“He looks… great…”

“He should have been Bullton,” Jason relayed.

“He should have been Bullton,” Peter agreed, feeling relieved the fellow parent shared his opinion on what the child should have been dressed up as. His mind wandered over to another person, hoping to hurriedly change the subject. “Where’s your wife Justine?”

“Oh, she’s dressed up as Camearra, murdering all the Tiga cosplayers,” Jason explained, pointing down towards another hallway with his machete.

They turned around to see her dressed up as the grey and gold Giant of Darkness swinging an axe into the skull of a cosplayer, splitting his head open like a watermelon. Her very own lightish red hockey mask obscured her face as blood splattered onto it before turning her attention to another Ultra cosplayer. She pulled a machete from her back and sent it flying across, striking the fleeing man in the heart.

“Well, what about you? Where’s your costume?” Peter inquired, turning his attention back to the legendary slasher.

Jason chuckled once more before pointing to himself. “Well, brand recognition. Can’t really go as anything else, otherwise a repeat of 93.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense,” Peter murmured before reaching forward and Jason’s hand. “It was good seeing you again, but I think my family is looking for me. You take care.”

“Family is everything, Peter,” Jason relayed as Peter nodded, with the two going their separate ways.

“Jeez. My family sucks,” Peter muttered.

“What was that!?” Lois squawked, giving him the stink eye.

Peter nervously gulped, rubbing his hands together while sweat dripped off his body once more. “Nothing dearest!”

“Good,” Lois said, folding her arms together, looking bored by her time at this convention. “Can we leave now?”

Peter leaned over next to his kids and Brian, whispering, “She’s just mad I didn’t go as King Kong to go alongside her Ann Darrow costume.”

“Shut up, Petah,” Lois muttered, crossing her arms together once more, looking away from her moronic husband, swinging back to her mindset of wanting to divorce him.

“I’m about ready to head out,” Brian spoke up, brushing his lab coat once more. “This convention was disappointing.”

“It’s because you came across as the dumbest person here,” Stewie pointed out, shuffling through the merchandise he was carrying, including several figures and a body pillow of Rando Yuguchi sticking outside one of his bags.

“All they’re interested in talking about are versus debates and shitty fan theories about the next Monsterverse entry,” Brian countered, feeling anger brew over their perceived stupidity once more.

Stewie rolled his eyes, not wanting to engage further with his idiotic dog. “Your eyepatch should be on the right.”

Brian blinked, only now realizing he was wearing it on the wrong side the entire time. He abruptly removed the eye covering before switching it over to the proper place. The two stood in silence as the dog looked down in embarrassment over his lack of attention to his costume.

“Yer mother is right, kids, I guess we should get going,” Peter sighed, moving towards the exit with his family in tow.

The family moved forward, all of them having varying opinions about their time with the convention. They were inching towards the exit when Peter caught something at the very corner of his eye. His body ceased up, preventing it from moving forward any further. The fat man couldn’t help but be entranced by what he saw.

Turning around he found himself mesmerized by a dark red crustacean adorned with many spikes and legs, with two large appendages from its shoulders. His mouth quivered, observing the creature minding its own business.

The precambrian moved its appendages onto the colored balls, watching them roll around in the pit it sat in. The Destroyer was seemingly docile, finding themselves relatively entertained by playing with the spherical objects in the ballpit, murmuring in delight.

Peter’s mouth slowly opened wide, his entire body shaking, forcing him to drop his prized possessions as he let out a cry of pure happiness. “Oh my god! I can’t believe it!”

The fat man raced over to get a closer look at the creature minding its own business. Peter hunched over it, placing his hands on his knees, observing the supposed perfect lifeform’s behavior.

The precambrian glanced over at the eccentric fat man huffering over him and rolled their eyes. They had hoped he would leave them alone in due time as it went back to their favorite hobby. It brushed its appendage towards the ball, allowing it to roll towards another.

“Brian!” Peter called out, his voice becoming more and more high pitched due to his excitement, as his dog reluctantly walked towards him. “Do you know who this is!?”

The dog’s eyes widened, realizing just what kind of kaiju the two were dealing with at this very moment. He heard the stories. The amount of people this type of creature murdered and very nearly dethroning the King of the Monsters.

Brian gulped in fear. “Uh, Peter, I think we should back away from the Destoroyah. We’re living on borrowed time.”

Peter reared his head back in confusion. “Brian, what are you talkin’ about?”

“What do you mean, ‘what am I talking about’?” the dog barked out, clapping his hands together. “This is a mass murderer we’re talking about!”

“Uh, for your information, Brian. It’s not a Destoroyah, it’s Ebirah! My favorite kaiju of all time!” Peter clarified, staring back at the Destoroyah. His heart raced in excitement once more, witnessing the kaiju standing before him.

The Destoroyah on the other hand, sighed, feeling itself becoming more and more agitated by how annoying the giant idiot was being. It felt itself readying to deliver a dose of micro-oxygen to the fat man with its appendages still fiddling around with a green ball.

Brian’s mouth quivered in disbelief. Peter’s stupidity was not foreign to him, but this reached a new height. Aside from the two having crustacean features, the two looked nothing alike. “Peter, that is not Ebirah! It is a Destoroyah!”

“Well, until you can tell me how four men didn’t invent radiation, I’m not listening to a word you say! You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter retaliated, getting closer to the Perfect Lifeform.

Destoroyah huffed out once again, feeling the fat man’s hot and rotting breath against their neck. It then felt Peter’s hands placed onto its body, earning a shriek from the creature. “You’re coming home with us, Ebirah!”

The crustacean gulped, shrieking once more as it attempted to reach for its balls when it felt itself being tugged away by a smiling Peter. With a mighty pull, Destoroyah was lumped over Peter’s shoulder, being towed away as the creature cried out. It reached forward with its appendages, watching as the ball pit was tipped over and the spheres pouring out.

Its peace of mind snatched away from them while it watched a person tripping over the pit’s contents and crying out in pain.

 

Chapter 4: Destoroyah Days

“Okay, Ebirah, I’ve made you your favorite lunch!” Peter enthusiastically spoke, picking up the plate from the counter and swinging it over to the table. He grinned at his newfound friend sitting at one of the chairs, its pointed legs dangling over the sides and the seat itself torn through with its spiky body.

The fat man set the plate onto the table with Destoroyah looking down at the plate to see its contents. It inspected the plate, taking note of every detail placed in front of them. All the crustacean saw were stubby little things, reminding it of fingers; little balls of meat covered in some sort of sauce; and a miniature version of a giant vegetable with the peduncle sticking out. One common element stood out for each piece of food.

Orange.

Their entire plate was nothing but orange related foods.

“And I got you some orange juice to wash it all down!” Peter cheerfully vocalized, gently placing the glass down next to their pate.

Destoroyah stared up at Peter, completely baffled by his behavior. With every human they encountered, they always ran off in fear or attempted to kill them, but not him. The Perfect Lifeform couldn’t tell if he was outright genuine with them or a complete idiot.

Yet, it made its mind stall.

In every other scenario, the Destroyer would have ripped the tub of lard into pieces and moved onto his idiotic family, however, something about him prevented them from doing so. Or more so their natural instinct was being delayed by some force it couldn’t even comprehend.

They didn’t like it.

Destoroyah glanced down at the plate, knowing it would have to placate the idiot for the time being. Its second set of jaws launched out of their mouth and snatched up a piece of meat, shredding it with their teeth.

“Ooh! Hoo Hoo!” Peter giggled, raising his arms up and down in excitement at seeing his friend eat the meal he prepped for them.

“Petah, what are you doing?” Lois asked, irritation oozing out of her voice, as she slammed her hands on her hips.

“Oh, hey Lois!” Peter called out happily. “I’m treating Ebirah to the best meal around! An orange orchestra!”

Lois pinched the bridge of her nose. “That literally makes no sense.”

“Doesn’t have to, because it leads to this!” Peter declared, turning over to Destoroyah, placing his hand on the frame of the chair. “Orange you glad we met?”

Destoroyah and Lois briefly turned to each other, finding a brief moment of synchronization. His pun truly sickened them both and both desired to murder him where he stood, but that same force prevented them from doing it.

Almost comical.

“Petah, that was completely terrible and you should be ashamed of yourself,” Lois muttered, crossing her arms.

The head of the household leaned over to Destoroyah. “She doesn’t know what she’s talkin’ about.”

“And besides, raising that thing is a lot of work, you’ll get bored of it within a few days,” countered Lois.

“No I won’t. It’ll be easy to keep Ebirah around, just like how I handled that phone call.”

***

Peter stood in his kitchen, phone in hand, seemingly staring blankly across the galley. A strange person had dialed his number, intending to relay their message onto him.

“Seven days….” a feminine voice slithered out of the phone and into Peter’s ear.

“Seven days, what the heck does that even mean?” asked the head of the household, puzzled by what the woman was conveying.

“Seven days….” she oozed again, her pitch becoming slightly higher.

Peter lifted up his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, only now realizing what the caller was contacting him about. “Is this because of that movie I just watched? Because let me tell you, that was… that was pretty terrible.”

“Seven days….” the caller spoke yet again, almost as if she was hissing at the fat man.

“Your message is just like that crappy videya I watched. None of it makes sense,” Peter interjected, bopping his hand against his side repeatedly.

“Seven days!” the girl snapped, extremely agitated at the cursed individual not getting the message.

“What are you getting mad at me for!?” Peter barked back, throwing his arm up in the air. His frustration towards the movie showed no bounds, he really wanted to give her a piece of his mind. “Your movie was just the moon, some girl brushing her hair in the mirror, a bunch of words, people playing ‘Nightcrawlers’, a guy with a stupid sheet over his head, a turtle-bird, an eye, and some guy knocking his daughter into a well! None of it made any sense!”

“Seven days!!” the girl shrieked, her voice ringing through the phone, causing Peter to pull away for just a second. Then, the sound of a head banging against the wall was heard, but it mattered little to him. He was irritated and wasn’t going to put up with it.

“You know I’m starting to sympathize with the guy in the videya! I want to push you down a well!” Peter screamed, gripping the phone tighter while he raised his free hand and morphed it into a fist. He was ready to give her a piece of his mind.

“SEVEN DAYS!!!!” the caller verbally retaliated, the angriest she had ever been at someone who had been cursed in the tape’s entire history. She wanted to end his existence right here and then, but the waiting period had given him the benefit of time. Next Sunday couldn’t come sooner.

“How about I beat your ass black and blue in seven days!?” Peter barked back, readying to throw down and beat this woman to a pulp. Not since the Giant Chicken had someone infuriated him this much and all because she kept repeating the same two words to him. “This is how you make yourself clear to someone!”

“SEVEN DAYS!”

Peter screamed at the top of his lungs and ripped the phone out of the wall. He threw it to the ground, shattering it to pieces. The head of the household turned around and yelled upwards at the ceiling.

“Family, we’re going to Japan!”

***

Two sets of eyes peeked through the door, leading to Meg’s room. Both Peter and Destoroyah stared at the former’s daughter, completely minding her own business. She laid on her stomach, moving her legs up and down while staring at her phone, listening to music with her earpods. Stealth was not a prerequisite for the mission they were about to undertake.

“Okay, Ebirah, since you’re good with water, we’re going to grab Meg and dunk her in that fishtank,” Peter relayed to the Perfect Lifeform.

Destoroyah cocked their head to the side. Not because of the murder they were about to commit, but the fact his jailor was willing to harm his daughter. Those thoughts didn’t persist for long, it needed to kill, to go back into its nature and this would be the best fate can offer.

The Destroyer nodded their head, following Peter into the pink bedroom. They inched themselves closer to the woman with Peter giggling throughout the lead up. The two stood above her as she was still completely oblivious at what was about to happen.

“Now!” Peter hollered out, snatching his daughter up in arms while Destoroyah used their tendrils to grab her legs.

“Dad! What the hell!?” Meg screamed, thrashing about in their grasp, but it was too much. She was not strong enough to break from their hold as they rushed towards her nearby fishtask.

Lifting her up with his fat arms, he shifted her above his companion, allowing Destoroyah to impale her sides with his tendrils. Meg screamed out while blood poured from her sides before being dunked into the fishtank.

The young adult thrashed around, her arms waving all over in different places while water poured into her throat. Peter rushed back over and held in her place, preventing her from gaining air.

“Now, Ebirah!”

Destoroyah, still baffled at how much of an enigma the fat man was, simply sighed. They couldn’t complain, since they at least got to vent their frustrations about their predicament.

The Perfect Lifeform hovered its mouth over the water and fired their micro-oxygen beam into the glass of liquid. A purple helix-shaped beam escaped from its maw, striking the water, completely vaporizing the fish living inside it.

Meg continued thrashing about until the effects of the beam reached, completely melting her skin. She ceased her erratic movements, her body going limp shortly after. Her skull soon dissipated piece by piece, her headless corpse then collapsed, sliding down the dresser the tank sat on top.

Peter’s eyes widened, completely shocked by the effect his kaiju friend had on her daughter. “Wow!”

The fat man stumbled backwards, feeling an intense feeling overwhelming him. He took note of the blood coming down the dresser from her headless corpse before turning back to Ebirah, simply staring at him.

“I did not know you could do that!” Peter called out happily. “I knew there was a reason why you’re my favorite kaiju!”

***

“Petah, can you go down to the deli and get the tray of wraps,” Lois murmured, placing more and more groceries in the cart.

Peter stood next to her, rolling his eyes at the assignment given to him. He didn’t even want to go to the store, but went out of the promise he and Ebirah would get a toy. “Fine, Ebirah and I will go get them.”

“Thank yah, Petah,” Lois vocalized, smiling as the two of them walked out of the aisle and towards their destination. She changed her tone. “Oh thank god.”

Turning around she eyed a sharply dressed man in a navy blue suit, smirking at her. Lois twirled her red hair and approached him, placing her hand on his chest. She used her other hand to lightly brush his black hair. “So, where were we Mr. Deputy Chief Cabinet Secretary?”

The fat man and Perfect Lifeform made it to their destination, looking at the variety of foods placed behind them. Peter went up to the register to get the tray as Destoroyah glanced over to something nearby, earning their attention.

The crustacean moved towards it, seemingly entranced by it. Peter grabbed the deli tray and turned around to see his friend crawling towards it. He reared his head slightly before following Destoroyah, curious to see what was so alluring.

Destoroyah pressed their second mouth onto the glass, keeping it in position. They stared at the container holding several lobsters, all of them at the bottom of the aquarium. It felt compelled to unleash its micro-oxygen into the tank, to alleviate its frustrations once more.

They were still confused as to why they couldn’t kill the fat man breathing down on them. Even after arriving in his imprisonment, they were still able to vanquish whoever they saw except for him and his family. Destoroyah didn’t believe in a higher being or a creator at first, however, it started to believe in some sort of cosmic force able to dictate the actions of another.

It was as this cosmic force was mocking them for his own amusement.

They prepared to inject the tank with micro-oxygen, but the fat man’s ear screeching voice stalled him.

“Aw! Are those your friends inside that tank, Ebirah?”

Destoroyah relinquished their grip on the tank and turned back to Peter, cocking their head at his stupidity. The Perfect Lifeform was stunned as he found a new way to say something to completely baffle them every minute.

The creature went to shriek as if to communicate, but was cut off by the head of the Griffin household. Peter stood over the tank, throwing down the platter before shoving his hands in the body of water.

“Don’t worry Ebirah, I’m going to rescue them!” Peter declared, grabbing a hold of two of them before gently placing them on the floor. He reached in for the next batch, repeating the process. Peter stared down at them, preparing a speech. Each word coming out of his voice carried weight, wanting them to feel inspired for their newfound freedom. “Ebirah, friends! For this unjust act against lobsters, I suggest you take your revenge on your oppressors!”

Taking his advice to heart, Destoroyah attempted to fire their micro-oxygen at the fat man, but nothing. Not even the tiniest beam of its power came into view. Destoroyah grumbled, shaking their head before turning over to the lobsters who returned the gesture in kind.

This was going to be one hell of a therapy session.

Destoroyah shrieked before running down a random aisle as the lobsters immediately followed. Peter put his hands on his hips and smiled, watching the carnage unfold with blood painting the floors and limbs being tossed over.

***

Everyone in the Griffin household except for Peter sat in the living room, watching a show on their TV.

“We now return to Bride of Godzilla.”

Godzilla stood at the altar, wearing a charcoal grey suit, with Anguirus as his best man alongside Rodan, Gorosaurus, and Jet Jaguar. The King of the Monsters smiled at seeing his surprise bride in a white dress and a thickly veiled cover over her head, approaching him.

She gathered in front of him, smiling behind the cover, eagerly awaiting to be officially married. Godzilla smirked, the anticipation killing him at who his bride could be. Her body already painted her as a goddess, and the design of the veil was inspiring, but it had to go. He needed to see. The King of the Monsters placed his hands gently on it and folded it backwards.

What he saw left him speechless.

“It’s me! Miki Saegusa!” the psychic cheerfully proclaimed, stretching her arms towards and placing her lips outwards to kiss him.

“EEEEEEEEEE!” Godzilla squeaked sheepishly, losing consciousness and falling into the arms of his amazing friends.

Peter walked in, barely able to breathe as the family turned around to him. “Oh my god, Petah! Are you alright!?”

“Just out of breath, is all,” Peter nearly coughed, placing his hand on the armrest of the purple couch. His face paler than usual, mucus dripped out of his nose and every part of his body screamed in tormented pain. “Gotta give myself a moment, so I can do more wacky hijinks with Ebirah.”

“Dad, I think you’re sick,” Chris pointed out, placing his hands back on his knees.

“I can’t be sick. We just went to a convention without a mask. There’s no way that can happen.” Peter relayed before entering a huge coughing fit, wrapping up his stomach and collapsing onto the armrest, feeling himself dangling.

Stewie jumped up and looked at Brian. “I don’t want to get sick. You wanna make a top ten list with me?”

“Yep,” Brian abruptly said before running off to Stewie’s room, with the baby following closely.

“Petah, I think you should go to the hospital now,” Lois addressed, backing away from her husband and into her eldest child. She slipped past them and pushed them slightly forward to their ill father.

“You’re right, Lois,” Peter breathed, slowly picking himself off the couch. “I’ll bring Ebirah with me, so I can pretend they’re my service dog.”

The fat man got back up and nearly crawled his way towards the door. Destoroyah glanced at him and lightly growled. It rolled its eyes, knowing that if they went with him, they’d at least get to vent out their frustrations.

Chris watched the two leave the home, knowing the situation was far over and how his father reacted with being sick.

“This is going to be worse than when I played Dead by Daylight with Mr. Herbert.”

***

“Where you going Chris!?” John Herbert spoke through his mic, chasing after his lifelong crush as Freddy Krueger. He moved his bladed fingers rapidly, feeling them almost trace over Chris’ avatar. It wasn’t the real thing, far from it, but the elderly man was thrilled by it regardless.

Chris’ avatar, Ace, bolted down the darkened, misty corridors of Léry’s Memorial Institute. His sunglasses and rusted blue hat were miraculously sticking in place as his beard felt the stale air hitting it.

“I’m gonna get yah fifty pounder!” Herbert’s voice grew louder over the headset.

Chris was running out of options as his elderly neighbor was closing in on him, readying to injure him and give him a fresh blood trail. He normally valued Herbert as a good friend, but whenever he played this cursed game, John became something truly frightening.

“Prepare to be tickled!” Herbert enthusiastically called out, raising his finger glove back and slamming it towards Chris’ avatar.

SLAM!

Ace threw down a multi-colored pallet directly onto Freddy Kruger, stunning him in place. Taking the opportunity of the dazed killer, Chris ran around the hallway before allowing himself to slow down to prevent scratchmarks.

“You get yer exposed ass back here,” Herbert mumbled angrily, breaking the pallet down in front of him before searching for anyone to slash.

Chris heard the inner workings of a generator nearby and slinked around the corner to find a young Japanese woman repairing it. He walked up to her, assisting her in working on the device.

“I distracted him for three whole minutes, Soggy, how have you guys not got one generator done?” Chris vocalized, complaining about his team’s lack of progress after putting his life on the line from the killer.

“Hey, don’t blame it on me,” a masculine voice spoke out from Yui, branching her head back, allowing her blonde dyed hair to hang back. “It’s not my fault we got crappy teammates.”

Yui then glanced over at Feng standing in the corner just a few feet away from them, shoving her pinky in her ear while using her free hand to repeatedly bop her stomach. They glanced at each other before turning away from the disturbing sight and to a red locker sitting right next to them.

Before their very eyes, Dwight leapt out of the closet and looked down at them. “Is it done?” he asked, pushing his glasses upwards before running his hand through his spiky black hair.

“Help us!” Brenden spoke, his character rubbing her black leather jacket.

“Nuh-uh! The killer will see me!” the Dwight countered before hopping back in and slamming the door, echoing out a large noise.

“Oh son of a bitch!” Soggy cried out, attempting to work harder on the generator, so it’ll be finished before the killer arrived.

“”We can still do this. I believe in us,” Chris reasoned, his character concentrating on the generator, feeling himself almost in sync with his teammate.

The generator grew louder with each bit of progress made.

3.

2.

1.

The generator ticked off, lighting up as both Chris and Soggy crouched up and down repeatedly. “You’re right. Maybe we do have this!” the Yui player spoke up as his character brushed her sweatpants.

“Hi yah, Chris!” Herbert’s voice giggled out, slashing Ace on the back, eliciting out a blood curling cry, drenching his clothes with his own blood.

“Oh hell no!” Brendan yelled out, immediately bolting towards the other side of the map, to get as far away from him as possible. Like Chris, he, too, found the elderly man to be absolutely terrifying.

Chris cried out, attempting to move, but felt another slash against his back, cutting through his shirt. His character dropped on his stomach, sobbing at the excruciating pain he was just dealt with. Freddy Krueger hovered over the downed avatar, caressing his bladed glove over his slim body, giggling the whole time.

“Tickle! Tickle! Tickle! I got you!”

 

Chapter 5: The Diagnosis

Peter walked in the hospital lobby with Destoroyah in tow, pulling them slightly with a leash. He checked in with the receptionist and was told to wait before the doctor could see him. The fat man slowly walked over to the chairs, still feeling unwell. He breathed in and out, placing himself onto the teal colored chair.

He went to close his eyes when he heard a familiar gruff voice.

“Hey Peter.”

Peter turned around to see Joe seated right next to him, looking almost identical to him in regards to their symptoms. “Joe, what are you doing here?”

Joe sneezed, snot flying across the room and plastering itself against the wall. He wiped his nose with his arm, clearing his nasal passages. The gunk slowly slid down the wall, covering it with blue remains in its trail.

A patient walked past it only for the mucus to make contact with him. He screamed at the excruciating pain, his whole body liquefying in front of the sick men’s eyes. Bubbles fizzled on top of his melting corpse, with the figure soon taking shape. His body’s color morphed into a green, standing before the two, with no expression in sight.

“I think I have Covid, too,” Joe relayed, following it up with a sniffle.

“You.. might have something else.” conveyed Peter, turning his attention from the Joe spawn and towards the approaching nurse.

“Doctor Hartman will see you now.”

“Ah, good,” Peter huffed out, slowly getting up with Joe joining him, leaving the Perfect Lifeform and Joe’s creation to themselves.

Destoroyah looked up at the H-Man and grumbled, knowing fully well it couldn’t kill it in any shape or form. The glowing being returned the creature’s gaze and sighed, feeling an intense amount of frustration in its body.

“Fucking Human Vapor getting the remake!”

***

“It’s just as I feared,” Doctor Hartman said, looking up from his clipboard and towards the two sick men. “You do have the Covid”

“Oh great! Sho…..” Peter went to say, but was immediately stuck with a needle. “Ow!”

The fat man rubbed his shoulder while his doctor walked away and stuck one in Joe, forcing the crippled man to quietly wince in pain.

“Now, this should all go away in just a little bit,” Elmer Hartman explained, bringing the needles to the disposal bin, raising them up only to catch something odd imprinted on them. He brought them closer to his eyes only to see them labeled almost identically. The doctor felt like a complete fool. “Uh-oh.”

“What?” Joe asked, concern forming on his face, taking note of his doctor’s exact reaction.

Hartman took his eyes off the needles and towards his patients. He scratched the back of his head and chuckled, “So…. do you guys like good news or bad news first?”

“Good news!” Peter clapped, smiling at his physician. “It means I’ve been a good boy.”

“Good news is Covid is completely wiped from your system,” informed Hartman, bringing up the needles to his face once more.

“I don’t see how there can be bad news, doc,” Joe pointed out.

“Well, that’s the thing….” Hartman trailed off, bringing the needles back up to the view of the patients. “The needles apparently got mixed up and I gave you both the Titan serum.”

Peter asked. “What’s that?”

“It’s an experimental procedure that turns someone into a Titan that’s either mindless and wants to eat people all day or one of the nine special cases where you can get your own kaiju to pilot. In which case, I gave you the Attack Titan and Joe the Armored Titan,” explained Elmer, feeling himself almost tongue tied for the exchange of information.

“I’m with Joe, I don’t see bad news.”

“Huh….” Hartman vocalized, looking back down at the needle and rereading the label more thoroughly. He chuckled and slapped his forehead. “Turns out what I gave you fellas was more in line with the live-action variant. It’s not as bad as I thought.”

“Well, what would have happened?” asked Joe.

“If you guys got the anime startup, you’d be automatically turned into monsters with barely any control,” Hartman continued to explain.

“I don’t get it, there’s still no bad side,” Peter replied, completely dumbfounded by the supposed horrid possibility of being a mindless monster.

“The bad side is that you’ll still have little to no control when you first transform and you’ll be addicted to a show called ‘Attack on Titan’….. Unless you like anime, that is.”

“I’m not following,” Peter blankly said, the monkey banging its symbols, functioning as his brain ceased. He was still completely in the fog, doomed to never finding the answer.

“Peter!” Joe called out, annoyed by his friend’s stupidity.

“Just watch Attack on Titan or….” Hartman spat, irritated by the conversation he was having, he wrote down on a piece of paper to function as a prescription. “Consult with a guy who plays a lot of Minecraft.”

“Where and how?” Joe questioned.

“You’ll find him often swimming in Toho’s dumpster. He’ll have everything you need to know about Attack on Titan.”

“Can’t,” Peter relayed. “Spent all our money on G-Fest.”

“I don’t know what to tell you since it’ll probably be another six months before he comes back to the states. He loves that dumpster!”

***

“Ooh hoo hoo!” Andrew squealed out, chucking the handful of trash over his head and onto the ground. He pulled a DVD out of the waste and inspected the cover, finding Godman and a few other obscure characters plastered on it. Andrew brought it up to his chest and hugged it, closing his eyes as he imagined all the good times he was about to have with it.

Andrew gently placed the piece of media on the ledge of the dumpster he was digging in. He scoured through the pile of waste, dirtying up his nails as he discarded the things that held no value to him. The KWC Kontroller often had a busy schedule, but he always made sure he had time in his week to scour through Toho’s dumpster.

His heart raced every time he dived into the massive container, eagerly awaiting what kind of forgotten treasures he could dig up. His fellow colleagues and friends always gave him strange looks, but he brushed off their insults, knowing the results never ceased to amaze them.

The Godman DVD was an excellent find in his opinion, but he knew it wasn’t the piece of history to rally everyone in excitement. He needed to find something big.

Brushing aside fast food wrappers, behind the scenes photos, Zone Fighter region 1 blu-rays, and reels of lost films, his hand ended up caressing against something scaly. Andrew ceased up momentarily before brushing away the remaining bits of waste covering up his find. He reached downwards and with a mighty pull, he yanked his prize from disgusting depths.

Like an object shining in sunlight, his eyes grew wide sparkling alongside it and his mouth dropped down in excitement.

“Orochi!” Andrew exclaimed happily. “My beloved!”

The Kontroller let out a high pitched squeal before hugging the one head of the eight-headed dragon, letting its orange neck rest against his belly. Andrew pulled the prop away from him and looked at its dull eyes, grinning at the prize he just claimed.

“I need to send a photo of this to the fellas!” Andrew exclaimed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He fiddled with his device, raising it up high to take a photo of the prop and himself. The collector stuck his tongue out and held his thumb up, wanting everyone to see how excited he was about his capture.

He went to press it with his thumb, however, he failed.

“Gosh darn it!” Andrew yelled out from his phone dropping. He reached down for his phone and attempted to try again, only for it to falter.

Andrew sighed, trying to think of a solution, scanning the entire dumpster to see if there was anything worthwhile to act as a tripod. Alas, nothing worthy came up in his search, only piles of scripts from Saperstein’s studio.

“Cosmic worms help me….” Andrew sadly murmured.

He was about to rest his head on the wall of the dumpster in defeat when he heard tapping. Perplexed at what the source could be, Andrew looked down to see his feet tapping on the ruins of a Giant Condor prop.

The big man gasped!

He will prevail once more!

Andrew kicked his shoes off and placed his phone between his feet, now knowing the perfect solution for taking photos.

“Thank you cosmic worms!”

***

“Okay, Brian, before we really start conducting our top ten list, we’re going to need to look up some examples,” Stewie relayed, typing away at his laptop as the two were seated at the small orange table in his room.

“That’s fine, I suppose.”

The infant clicked on the first thumbnail he saw and was greeted with a loud, energetic voice. His lively personality matched with his brown and blonde hair with a burgundy button up shirt over his black shirt and jeans.

“What’s going on guys? I’m Corey from Corey’s World, and today we’re counting down the top ten best Godzilla movies!” the subject on the video exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

The two watched him go down the list as Brian turned his head away from the screen and towards Stewie. “So, we’re doing one for movies?”

Stewie pressed his fingers to lip, pondering his response. “Maybe, but I feel like it’s been done way too much and besides, this one is really bad.”

“Number five, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, because it’s exactly like the Showa era! The monsters are completely silly and the characters are just one note caricatures. No substance whatsoever and we, the fans, LOVE THAT!”

The baby frowned, clearly losing interest in what the content creator had to say. He tracked the mouse over and clicked near the end of the video, skipping the majority of it. “That’s it for this video, and don’t forget to check out my other recent video where I explain why blackface was completely okay for King Kong vs. Godzilla.”

“Let’s not do one for movies,” Brian suggested, with Stewie closing the laptop.

“Toys?” Stewie asked, looking over at his nearby blue shelf littered with his haul from G-Fest, ranging from Shin Bandai figures to the Shogun figures of Godzilla and Rodan.

“Nah. I feel like people only care about them when they’re in their possession,” countered Brian, placing his fist below his chin. “How about characters?”

Stewie frowned. “Do you even know any characters besides the one you dressed up as?”

“Uh…..” the dog groaned, leaning back in the tiny chair, desperately trying to think of a character. “Asagi Kusanagi.”

“That’s a Gamera character!” Stewie spat, throwing his arms up. “You know what? We’re not getting anything done here, let’s just take a walk to see if anything comes up.”

“Walk!?” Brian yelped, excitedly circling the table at the mere mention of the word.

***

“Okay, time to sign in to Hulu, since we’re owned by Disney now,” Peter murmured, logging into the application through his remote. He took a seat on the couch and saw the thumbnail for the show. “Doctor Hartman said this will help me understand my new condition, but I’m sure I only need one episode to understand it all.

The service started the pilot episode, conveying the world of Attack on Titan to its viewer. Peter nodded his head, watching the events unfold, but then its first theme song played.

“SIND SIE DAS ESSEN! NEIN, WIR SIND DE JAGER!”

Peter gasped!

His jaw dropping and his entire body dancing, he was fully on board with the anime.

 

Chapter 6: Peter’s Obsession

Her eyes opened.

Lois awoke from her slumber, tossing herself out of bed to begin her morning routine. She went to brush her teeth, looking up at the mirror to see only to find her hairdo completely changed. Instead of her short red hair, she now had brown hair done in a ponytail. Her eyes widened at the sudden change of appearance.

“What the hell!?”

The matriarch of the Griffin household stormed down the stairs demanding an answer out of whoever her hairstyle only to find nearly everyone else in the same predicament. All of them wore a Survey Corp uniform. She paused to see Brian’s head dyed yellow and Stewie with short black hair. Lois blinked before turning her eyes over to the remainder of the household. Chris’s head was completely shaved and Meg’s hair was dyed red, completely comparable to Lois’ original color. Then, finally, Destoroyah had the same type of hair as Lois, but had glasses plastered over their eyes and even an eyepatch over their left, looking completely baffled as everyone else.

“What…. is even going on here?” questioned Lois.

“My fancast of Attack on Titan,” Peter answered from the other room before entering, his appearance completely changing from last night. His hair was noticeably longer, with it being tied up in a bun. Gone were his white buttoned up shirt and green pants, but replaced with a white shirt, dark blue jeans and a long black coat draping over them. “You are exactly who I envisioned you all to be, and I, as Eren Yeager. The rightful hero of the series.”

“Peter, you know Eren wasn’t the hero of the show, right!?” Brian called out, attempting to have his friend see the reason behind his idiotic statement.

“Shut it, Armin!” Peter snapped, cutting him off and approaching him. He leaned over his dog, towering over him as he glared down at him “ Do you know why I chose you as Armin?”

“Uh…. because I’m the smartest one here?” Brian nervously chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

“No you’re not!” Stewie quipped.

“Well, that actually,” Peter reasoned, backing up slightly, causing Brian to sigh in relief, letting his arms drop.

“Oh come on!” the baby yelled out.

Brian simply smirked at the infant as he was met with a middle figure.

“I am honored you chose me as the smartest character, as someone is well versed in….” Brian went on to speak, but found himself cut off by Peter.

“You think you can tell me now how four men didn’t invent radiation?” Peter inquired before Brian frowned as Stewie laughed in joy.

“Forget it,” Brian muttered, walking away from the living room and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of liquor.

Stewie went to raise his hand.

“Stewie, you’re Levi,” Peter answered as the infant raised his arm down and smiled.

“I’m okay with this,” Stewie voiced, pulling up a small mirror and admiring his new makeover, not caring what else his father had dictated for his AOT casting.

“Chris, you’re Connie,” Peter pointed out before moving his eyes to Meg. “You’re Floch.”

“Why!?” Meg exclaimed at the fact her father chose her to be one of the most despised characters in the series.

“Shut up Floch,” Peter commanded before moving onto his final two subjects.

“Ebirah, my best friend.” Peter smiled, placing his hand on their shoulder, eliciting a small hiss from the perfect lifeform, but was seemingly ignored by the idiot. “You have one of the best characters of all. Commander Zoe Hange.”

“Wait, Destoroyah as Hange, why?” inquired Chris.

“First of all, Chris, their name isn’t Destoroyah,” Peter mouthed, irritated at his son’s ignorance at who the newest member of their family was. “Second, Ebirah is also a very powerful warrior and a genius for coming up with new powers like that thing they spit up.”

“Yeah…. I gotta agree with Chris, I just don’t see it,” Meg added, taking a look back at the crustacean dressed up as the character.

“I can’t believe two of my kids are this insensitive,” Peter muttered, placing his hands between his hips. “And also because both Hange and Ebirah identify as she/they, and she would be very happy if you referred to them as such.”

“What about me, Petah?” Lois asked, examining herself upon finding out she didn’t have a red scarf around her neck or her hair being black. “Why am I not Mikasa?”

Peter gasped.

“Lois, I am not someone who’d whitewash a character!”

“I’m not even talking about that, I’m talking about how it’d make sense for me to be Mikasa if you’re Eren, because they were lovers…” reasoned Lois, throwing her hands out.

“Ew!” Peter gagged out, rearing his head back at the thought of the two kissing. “They were siblings, not lovers!”

“Yes they were!” Lois snapped.

“Uh, no. That would be Eren and Sasha as they were clearly in love,” countered Peter, crossing his arms.

“They barely had any scenes together, though,” Chris pointed out.

“And Sasha was implied to be involved with Nicolo,” Meg added.

“Shut up, you guys wouldn’t know,” Peter spoke, rolling his eyes at their inept observations of the show he very recently became a fan of. “And besides, Eren and Sasha would have gotten together and made plenty of babies if that bitch Gabi Braun didn’t ruin it all.”

“I don’t mind any of this, because I got one of the two characters I wanted,” Stewie said to himself, continuing to look at his new getup in a small mirror. “Historia would have been fine as well.”

“But thankfully, I got a way to rectify this,” Peter relayed, leaving the room for a second only to come back with a desk chair containing a tied up Gabi Braun. Her eyes widened in horror upon seeing everyone as her mouth was covered over, preventing her from screaming.

The young girl had no idea what she did to deserve this or even how she got here. All she knew was that the fat man hated her. Gabi saw the rest of the household in clear disarray by the fat man’s actions and pleaded with them for help through the covering.

Peter pulled a knife out and handed it to Lois, her eyes immediately widening in horror. “Here you go, Sasha. Enact your revenge.”

“What…. What!?” Lois called out.

“Do it, Sasha! Make things right in the Attack on Titan canon!” demanded Peter, wrapping her fingers around the knife.

“Uh… no!” Lois cried out, shoving the knife back to Peter. “I’m not killing a little girl because an anime you like didn’t go the way you wanted.”

“Fine!” Peter yelled out in annoyance before offering the knife to Destoroyah. “Hange, you do it! Protect the sanctity of Eldia!”

Destoroyah stumbled slightly back in surprise. She had no issue with killing, just still in shock at how this average man was willing to let his own kind die so casually. It baffled them, but decided to commit nonetheless as it was no skin off their back. Still, the thought lingered in their mind, knowing there were far worse beings than themselves.

She hated it.

As the Perfect Lifeform went to move towards the captive girl, she felt herself cut off by the patriarch deciding to speak his mind.

“Jeez! Convincing someone to kill for you is harder than a powerscaling debate!”

***

“Jason Voorhees would, too, thrive in the Resident Evil universe!” Peter argued, slamming his hand against the wooden table, breaking through the surface. The fat man paused for just a moment, blinking in disbelief. He glanced over at the man sitting across from him, weirded out by his outrage while Peter looked down at the hole he created.

The relatively new powerscaler covered his mouth, pulling out his other hand as he rested it on the damaged table. “Apologies…. Where was I?”

Matthew tapped the side of his head, already regretting humoring the obese man into a versus debate. It was a subject he took pride in discussing with friends, yet knew how out of control it could be at any given moment. He, himself, couldn’t remember what led to this debate, however, he figured he rather let the conversation play out instead of a fight breaking out.

He heard the rumors of the fights he’s been in and did not look forward to that possibility. Not that he was afraid of physical confrontation, but the reality of him paying for all the damages evoked by the hypothetical fight.

Matthew lightly scratched his beard, deciding to continue to humor the fat man. “Jason thriving in the Resident Evil universe.”

“Oh, right, that,” Peter chuckled, nervously rubbing his hands, allowing his mind to reprocess the debate. Then, in a moment’s notice, his attitude morphed back into anger, picking back up on his argument. “He literally broke through a metal door as a zombie!”

“Yeah it’s impressive,” Matthew exhaled, attempting to be as diplomatic as possible with the irritable fat man. He turned his gaze away from Peter and towards his phone, typing in the title of a video he had intended to show him. It took a moment for it to load before displaying what he wanted to see. Matthew turned the device over towards Peter. “But, uh, the Nemesis was able to break through concrete with ease.”

Peter looked at the phone, taking note of Jill Valentine resting in her apartment. A few seconds passed as nothing happened aside from her getting a phone call. The fat man looked up at him, perplexed at what he was having him watch.

“Oh my god. Just give it a second,” Matthew groaned.

The head of the Griffin household rolled his eyes before shifting his gaze back to the phone. He took note of Jill walking over towards a dimly lit wall when all of a sudden the Nemesis burst through it. The resulting impact sent Jill flying across the room as pieces of concrete scattered around them.

Peter’s eyes widened alongside his mouth dropping in shock. He looked up at Matthew, feeling slightly foolish for downplaying a Resident Evil character’s feats. He scratched the back of his head, offering a small chuckle, completely feeling humbled.

“Wow. That is impressive. I guess Jason has his work cut out for him.”

“Mhm….” Matthew simply murmured, feeling ever so proud of convincing the fat man of his side of the argument.

The video, however, continued to play as its audio led Peter to shift his attention back towards it once more. He witnessed Jill running out of her apartment and slamming the wooden door in front of the Nemesis’ face. The protagonist pressed her back against the frame of the door, desperately trying to keep the infected from breaching.

BANG!

A large dent formed on the door.

BANG!

Another formed up as Jill kept her back against the door.

Realizing what was happening, Peter’s excitement turned to anger. His excited smile morphed into a frown before shaking his head at Matthew. All of this arguing about a character’s feat became nothing more than a complete chore. Peter could no longer fathom why he was even arguing about something as trivial as this.

“I’m starting to think versus debating is completely worthless.”

The two stayed completely silent, both of them reflecting on the contradictory nature that transpired. Matthew, however, didn’t maintain this sentiment as he matched Peter’s glare.

“Shut up.”

***

“Alright, the beach!” Chris screamed out excitedly, bolting away from his family and towards the sandy surface. He launched himself forward and jumped on top of a sandcastle, squashing it instantly as the kids who made it were crying hysterically.

“How long do you think it’ll be until we get kicked out again?” Stewie asked Brian as they briefly turned back to see Chris getting kicked in the stomach by the kids’ father.

“Give it about five minutes.”

Lois set the beach towel down and sat down on it with the others following suit. They pulled out their food from the wicker basket and ate the contents inside. Brian then realized none of the family endured any strange antics from the patriarch and looked around for him. He scanned the area to find normal people enjoying their day out in the sunny weather.

The dog continued searching until he saw Peter uncharacteristically staring out at the ocean with Destoroyah right next to him. Brian huffed and walked towards his supposed best friend, standing next to him.

“Uh, Peter, what are you doing?”

“Brian….” Peter replied solemnly, keeping his gaze on the ocean. His tone of voice slightly worried the dog as he wondered if he was under any distress whatsoever. Peter had done nothing today and kept to himself, barely uttering a word. It was a miracle he even agreed to go to the beach with them at all.

“Yes, Peter?” Brian asked, looking up worriedly, hoping to discover what was eating away at him.

Peter slowly lifted his finger up and pointed towards the vast body of water before them. “If we did cross the sea and we killed our enemies, after that, would we finally be free?”

Brian frowned.

“Peter, not everything is an Attack on Titan reference!”

“Well, we’re standing out on the beach, looking at the ocean!” countered Peter, finally breaking his gaze and looking at his dog. “It’s exactly like Attack on Titan Season 3 Part 2’s finale!”

“No one is going to attack us!”

“Well, yeah!” Peter yelled out, turning his attention back to the ocean and pointing to a large object off into the distance. “Then what’s that!”

“That’s just a boat that says Taco Bell!” Brian barked, taking another look out at the body of the water to see a large ship sporting the purple franchise logo on it.

“Exactly!” Peter said out loud, turning to Destoroyah, looking them in the eye. “Ebirah, do your thing! Sink the enemy!”

Destoroyah shrieked, marching into the water and swimming towards the boat. Peter smirked as Brian looked on in horror at the crustacean destroying the large vessel. Screams were heard off in the distance, followed by a large explosion.

The Perfect Lifeform swam back to shore, with the three of them now looking on to the sinking ship while several disfigured bodies floated.

“Hehehehe. Eldia will be protected from terrible food.”

***

Peter and Destoroyah marched up and down their home address, Spooner Street. Their set of eyes ensured nothing would harm their great nation. The fat man saw Joe mowing his lawn and waved at him before turning his attention to Cleveland playing with his family. His heart rested easily at how his people could enjoy themselves. All because of his and Ebirah’s hard work as Survey Corp members.

“You know, Ebirah, you really do make everything better,” Peter vocalized, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Destoroyah grumbled, feeling more and more hatred for the man standing right next to them. If she couldn’t kill him, then the very least the idiot could do for her was get their name right. Still, they just needed the universe to be kind enough to allow her to rip his tongue out.

It’ll be a glorious day when they’d be given that right.

Until then, it’d have to play along with Peter’s idiotic shenanigans.

“Speaking of making things better,” Peter said, lightly gripping Destoroyah’s shoulder, motioning for them to stop.

The Perfect Lifeform rolled her eyes, wondering what else Peter would want. Peter pulled out a small blue container and got on his knee. “Ebirah, I know we’ve only been friends for a week, but I feel there’s something greater between us.”

Destoroyah huffed in disgust, having a good idea where the fat idiot was going with this proposition. They’d seen humans commit to this action to convey their love for another. The gesture sickened her, death was one of her few passions. Seeing the eyes roll up in their victims’ heads was the real beauty in the world, not the affinity living beings expressed to one another.

“That’s why I got us matching BFF necklaces!” Peter announced happily, showcasing the golden jewelry.

Destoroyah rested their shoulders, relieved at the fat man’s intentions, but still disgusted by this supposed act of friendship. Before the being could even protest, Peter wrapped the necklace around their neck and observed it.

Peter clapped his hands together and brought them up to his face. He eyed the golden necklace with the words ‘Peter’s BFF’ on it.

“Oh my god! You look so adorable with it!”

The patriarch of the Griffin household threw his own on as well, allowing Destoroyah to look upon the new accessory, reading the words encased on it.

‘Ebirah’s BFF’

“Now everyone will know we’re best friends forever!” Peter exclaimed excitedly, shaking with pure joy at the gift he presented both Destoroyah and himself with.

Between the itchy wig, the uncomfortable glasses and now the ridiculous necklace, Destoroyah was at their limit. They needed to kill. Not just one or two people, but a whole group of people to even be cleansed of their insanity.

“Okay, so after we do another couple laps here, I was thinkin’ we could annex Strittmatter Street and Vegetable Avenue next,” Peter relayed his next order of attack while Destoroyah spotted a wooden stand at the edge of the street. The Perfect Lifeform raced towards it, eliciting Peter’s attention. Upon recognizing it, Peter smiled. “Ah, good girl! I could go for some lemonade!”

Destoroyah stuck out their inner jaw intending to murder the child manning the station, but Peter beat them to the punch. “Two lemonades for my compatriot and I!”

“You got it, mister!” the child spoke, leaning down to pour their drinks as his green hair bobbed up and down. He gently passed the drinks to his customers and smiled.

Peter grabbed the drink and took a sip. He smiled at the refreshing liquid hitting the inside of his mouth and traversing down his throat. The fat man lightly brushed his lip, eyeing the child and noticing not only his green hair, but his outfit as well. An outfit that largely matched the color of his hair, with black jeans, white gloves and orange combat boots. Something about the way this kid dressed disturbed the defender of Eldia and he wanted to know why.

“Your outfit is a bit peculiar. Which of the three walls do you hail from?” inquired Peter, stirring his drink around.

Destoroyah stared deeply at the kid, inching their tendrils closer to the kid. They already know Peter would order her to kill the kid for whatever absurd reason, but the entity that held her hostage was not permitting her to do so. She knew what was going to happen. The fat man will get upset over something stupid and will tell them to murder the boy.

‘Let me do it already!’

“The three walls?” the kid chuckled, stirring the pitcher with a wooden spoon. “ Oh no, sir. I’m not a character from Attack on Titan. I’m cosplaying as Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia.”

“I see…..” Peter murmured, placing his hand on his chin, rubbing it softly. He eyed the kid with suspicion, knowing full well what was about to go down.

“Yeah, he’s so awesome!” the kid excitedly yelped, raising his arms out. “Detroit Smash!”

“Stop right there, Marleyan scum!” Peter firmly accused, pointing at the kid, immediately halting his movements.

“What? I’m not from Marley, I live on this street!” the kid attempted to reason with the adult, but his cries fell on deaf ears. His life was forfeit to the defenders of Eldia.

“That’s what all Marleyan pigs say! Ebirah, execute this spy!” Peter commanded as Destoroyah happily obliged. They smashed through the wooden stand and fired its beam at the kid, blasting a hole through his stomach.

Peter smiled at their handiwork, knowing Spooner Street was safe for another day. He placed his hands on hips, watching Destoroyah finishing up the remains.

“I’m just glad someone actually listens to me unlike some other people.”

***

“Alright, Landon,” Peter spoke, placing glasses completely identical to his own on the slightly smaller man in front of him. He inspected him, taking note of his now brown colored hair before running his fingers through it. Spending a few seconds, the head of the Griffin household smiled, satisfied with Landon’s hair now similar to his own. “My family’s been annoying me for a while and I need a break, so I want you to fill in for me and do whatever bullcrap they ask for.”

Landon chuckled, patting himself on the white buttoned up-shirt he wore. “You got it, min. I’ll make sure I’m schneaky.”

“Good… good…” Peter murmured, admiring his handiwork at creating a near identical clone for his plan. “Oh, and don’t worry about what Lois says about food, most of the family won’t care where they go, so long as it isn’t a sissy vegan place.”

“Hey, no worry, min,” the imposter relayed, feeling an object underneath his shirt descend, peaking out in full view. Peter’s eyes widened slightly as he inched his hands forward, gently shoving the pillow back up his shirt to maintain the illusion. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

Peter paused at the silly joke the decoy oozed out, taking a moment to process. The fat man slammed his hand against his stomach and started laughing. “Seafood diet!? That’s hilarious! You’re going to fit in perfectly.”

“Hehehehehe,” the imposter laughed, mimicking Peter’s laugh, impressing him even further.

“Wow! You are literally perfect for this job!” Peter announced, feeling more and more impressed by the imposter’s acting skills.

“Thanks,” Landon said, pausing to tighten up his own pair of green pants before glancing back up at his temporary employer. “So, uh, what was the pay again?”

“You’ll get whatever it cost to make Godzilla vs. Megalon,” Peter relayed, eliciting a frown from Landon, as the doppelganger looked down in disappointment.

“Oh…..”

“And then whatever Hamtaro brought in for Godzilla during the 2000s when the job is finished,” Peter clarified.

“Is… is that good?” the imposter inquired, cocking his head to the side.

“It’s something.” Peter shrugged before grinning once again at his handiwork. He threw his arm forward, pointing at the kitchen door leading to the living room, “Now go out there and make my stupid family happy!”

“You got it, min,” Landon murmured before moseying out the galley and into the main room of the house. Peter stood there, smiling as he heard the voices of his children speaking to his duplicate.

“Hey dad, what’s the dinner situation?” Chris questioned, following it up with a monstrous growl from his bulging stomach.

“Well, kids, who wants a schlice of pizza from Cheesie Charlie’s?” Landon’s oozing voice questioned.

“Ooh! Me!” Chris enthusiastically cried out, hangering for the Italian delicacy.

“I love Cheesie Charlie’s!” Stewie’s voice joined in, yelling out in excitement as if his whole world was taken over by ecstasy.

“Yeah, same!” Meg joined in.

“Shut up Meg,” the imposter spoke plainly, already detesting the presence of his employer’s eldest child.

Peter nodded in approval as he knew he hired the best man possible for the job. He then turned around and walked away to meet his friends at the Clam.

***

It had been a few days since he hired Landon for the job and life had never been better for him. No one bothered him about chores, their lame school stories or how he was inept at providing satisfaction to his wife. All Peter had to do was drink, watch the game and perform whatever cutaway gag he wanted.

He cracked open another can of Pawtucket Patriot Ale and sipped on it, letting the refreshing liquid hit his mouth. In the corner of his eye he saw Lois approaching him, immediately causing him to roll both of his optics.

Strangely enough, he saw another figure waltzing behind her. He couldn’t fully tell who it was at first, but soon saw it was Landon stopping right next to her. Peter was puzzled, baffled at both his wife and doppelganger standing side by side in front of him.

His heart sank.

“Was my plan foiled?”

Lois opened her mouth, detesting the thought of speaking to her fat husband, but had to give him an answer on what was about to happen.

“Petah, I’m leaving you for Landon Soto, because he satisfies me in every way imaginable.”

Peter’s jaw dropped at the revelation as she walked away as his employee couldn’t help but chuckle at his misfortune. “Hehehe, sucker.”

Landon walked away, following his partner out of the house. Peter in his frozen state, heard a car revving up as they drove away from the residency to places unknown. It took a few moments before the head of the household could even conjure up a response and in that response was simply sadness.

“I guess he’s the Family Guy now….”

***

“Peter, what are we doing outside of Bob’s Funland?” Joe asked, rolling up next to Peter and the rest of his friends.

“You’ve been kicked out since season two, so why are you coming back?” Quagmire added, with the group standing just outside the gate, looking beyond it at all of the exciting rides behind. All of them except Destoroyah looked on with elation in their eyes. The ferris wheel, the roller coasters going so far it’ll tear your skin off and the putt-putt golf as the cherry on top made their mouths water.

“Wait, season two? That’s how long I’ve been kicked out?” Peter asked, pausing for just a moment and allowing himself to ponder how much time has passed since those events transpired. “Yeesh. That’s been twenty-six years…. Even before 9/11 was a thing.”

“Peter!” Joe yelled out.

“Sorry, sorry,” Peter apologized, putting his hands up. A pause occurred with him rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. “That was wrong of me.”

“This isn’t a bad idea. I could go for some mini-golf,” Cleveland chimed before lowering his head down. “But it’s too expensive.”

“Not for long it won’t,” Peter addressed his good friend, standing in front of the whole group. “Help me perform a hostile takeover and this great amusement park will always be free to all of you!”

“Peter, that’s extremely illegal and I could arrest you just for threatening someone’s life,” Joe informed, pulling handcuffs out of his pocket.

“Hmm….. I’m okay with murder to save a few bucks,” Cleveland rationalized, rubbing his cheek as he weighed down his options.

“Cleveland!” Joe barked out, pulling another set of handcuffs, intending to arrest two of his best friends.

“As long as I can giggity wherever and whoever I want, I’m in,” Quagmire added.

“Quagmire!” Joe hollered out, pulling a third set of restraints from his left wheel.

“Come on, Joe, what are you siding with America for? Eldia won’t discriminate against the crippled. You can ride any ride you want without anyone telling you otherwise,” Peter reasoned, smiling and offering his hand out to him as a gesture of good will.

“I’m in,” Joe said, stuffing the several pairs of handcuffs back into his pocket.

“Excellent!” Peter exclaimed, turning around to face the gates of his upcoming acquisition, knowing full well it’ll be taken under any means necessary. “My Peterists! It is time to take what is rightfully ours! For Eldia!”

“For Eldia!” Peter’s three friends screamed out while Destoroyah uttered a bored shriek.

The five marched through the gate only to be met with the other of the park himself, Bob Funland. He stood there, glaring at Peter and his merry band of thugs. The man who insulted him when his mother passed away, thinking it was nothing more than a joke in his life, but to him it was the moment that shaped him to be the man he was.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Bob hollered out, his hair brown blowing with the wind.

“Taking what is rightfully mine, you jerk!” Peter barked back, rearing his fist back and jabbing the owner in the stomach.

Bob hurled from the punch, gagging as he collapsed to his knees. He held his stomach tightly, struggling to get up, but was prevented from doing so. Cleveland ran up and punched him on the right side of his face, forcing the owner to spit out several of his own teeth.

Bob collapsed on the ground, slowly picking himself up only for Quagmire to kick him in the throat. He collapsed on the ground as Joe ran him over with his wheelchair, crippling him. The owner of the funland felt everything below his neck go weightless.

He slowly lifted his head up to see Peter and Destoroyah glaring down at him. Bob went to speak, however his own vocal cords betrayed him, leaving only the sound of gagging to escape.

Destoroyah was the first to attack, impaling the owner with his tendrils, holding him up for Peter. Face to face, the fat man felt a great surge of energy rushing through his body and without any hesitation, sent his entire fist through Bob’s face, killing instantly.

Like a piece of trash, Destoroyah threw the worthless body away. Peter and his Peterists stood proudly in victory, claiming a very valuable asset for the great nation of Eldia.

“I declare this land to be now called ‘Peter’s Funland!” Peter declared, standing victoriously only for a great sense of distress washing over him. He forgot something very important and felt embarrassed by it, forcing himself to speak very fast. “And putt-putt golf!”

***

“Okay class, I’ve walked you through Kong’s epic beatdown on Rodan and Mamagon’s secret affair with Shukra, but today on this episode of Titan Truth Podcast, me and my co-host, Pigmon…” Bernie vocalized, getting closer to the mic and pointing his finger down to the service. He briefly glanced at the red little creature adorned with their own set of headphones. “Pigmon give me a drumroll please.”

“Ra!” the co-host complied, flapping his boney white hands against the table, humming in rhythm with his beats.

“Are joined by the man, the myth, the legend….. PETER GRIFFIN!” Bernie exhaled passionately pointing towards his guest, sitting across the table from him.

Peter bowed, not realizing no one could see him before placing himself closer to the mic. “Thank you, Bernie. It’s an honor to be on here, I’m a huge fan.”

“Ra!” Pigmon vocalized, staring over at Peter.

“Yes, yes, Pigmon. We’ll get to snacktabulous halftime here in a few,” Bernie relayed, turning his attention back to his guest, placing his hands underneath his chin, leaning forward again.

“I am also curious about snacktabulous halftime,” Peter concurred, glancing back at the little red creature.

“Now, Peter, you’d say you’re an expert at kaiju and other strange creatures, right?” inquired Bernie.

“You can say that. Even had a weird mushroom growing on the side of my left cheek once,” Peter explained, feeling smug at his experiences with bizarre creatures through film and television.

“Ra?” Pigmon questioned, his face turning sour from the odd response his guest gave out.

“The big question is…… who is the Big G going to fight in Minus Zero!?” Bernie posed the query, his voice getting louder and louder until the end, clapping his hands together. “Pigmon, you first!”

“Ra!”

“Hmm…. interesting choice,” Bernie murmured, placing his index fingers to his lips, contemplating his co-host’s pick, wrapping his mind around their role in the plot. “An interesting idea, but I don’t see Gamera making it this time around, buddy.”

Peter took a moment to ponder his answer, going through every reasonable option he could until he found the right one. Crossing his arms together, he said “Bob from Monsters vs. Aliens.”

“Bob!?” Bernie exclaimed, feeling immense disappointment in his guest’s answer. “Why Bob!? He has nothing to do with Tokusatsu!”

“The American military decides to assist Japan by chasing Bob all the way there with carrots to fight a resurrected Godzilla,” explained Peter, feeling confident with his theory about the acclaimed movie’s sequel.

Bernie scratched his head, attempting to find a good counter to Peter’s claim. He knew it would never happen in a million years, but he couldn’t deny the Titan shifter’s confidence. A small part of him was realizing his idea could be the one even after the supposed Ghidorah leak got debunked just by paying for a subscription.

“Ra!”

Bernie turned his attention to Pigmon, having to correct him for what he had just said. “No, Pigmon. Those are zombie carrots!”

“Ra?” Pigmon murmured, cocking his head slightly in confusion.

“I told you this before! Zombie Carrots are real, Green People are not!”

“Now, now. He might have a point.” Peter spoke, breaking up the argument between the hosts. “I used to say the same thing about black people until I met Cleveland.”

Both Bernie and Pigmon’s jaws dropped at Peter’s disgusting statement. The guest soon realized the terrible thing he just said and nervously chuckled, rubbing his hands together.

“I guess no snacktabulous halftime for me…..” Peter sadly murmured, hanging his head down at the punishment inflicted upon him.

***

“Hmmm…. Best music?” Brian suggested, taking a sip of his coffee.

“No…. we’d get demonetized fast,” Stewie pointed out, consuming a small portion of his tea.

The aspiring content creators sat in a local cafe, deciding it’d be their best bet for conjuring up the perfect top ten video. Despite their spitballing and the warm drinks they shared, nothing was satisfactory.

“There’s gotta be something,” Brian reasoned, desperately searching through his mind to find a topic that was new and appealing to every type of Godzilla fan. “Something no one has thought of before.”

“Hmm…. movies, toys, music, characters, kaiju, fights…. Pretty much everything has been done before,” Stewie listed, holding out his fingers and counting down each idea at the top of his head.

The two were still lost in thought, drafting out ideas as unbeknownst to them a large parade was being held just outside the establishment. Several insect-like creatures walked across the asphalt with floats behind them.

Brownish orange bugs danced with each step, holding little flags as the labeling on their float containing a replica of their queen read “Meganulon Pride”. The Meganulons waved their flags, moving their bulky bodies, celebrating their assigned holiday of the year. Their little dances were accompanied by the shaking of maracas and guitars being plucked, creating sensational music.

“Are you sure there’s nothing we can draw from them?” Brian asked, scratching the back of his head. “There has to be something.”

“I’m afraid not,” Stewie rationalized, rubbing the sides of his head. “I guess there are no new ideas to take from and even if there were any, no one will care enough for them.”

Behind them, just outside the window, another convoy arrived behind the Meganulons. Mutated sea louses crawled across the hard surface, holding their own set of flags and trinkets from their culture. One sign was plastered with “Human blood for all!”

“Normalize Shockirus feeding habits.” Another sign read as they moved across the road, intending to make their voices heard in the world.

One sea louse held their sign just slightly higher than the others, wanting their dream to become known to the world. “Make Shockirus September a federal holiday.”

“Coming up with a top ten list is harder than Sonic coming up with an excuse to not date Amy,” Stewie rationalized.

***

“Oh jeez, Amy! I don’t think I can go out with you this Saturday….” Sonic relayed, moving his eyes all around Seaside Hill, desperately trying not to look at his pink admirer.

“Please Sonic!” Amy whined, placing her hands together and took another step towards him. “I’ll pay for dinner and whatever else you want to do.”

“Uh…..” Sonic hummed nervously, rubbing the back of his head and backing away from her.

“Think, Sonic, think! Use an excuse that works. I know just say you’re ‘gay’!”

Sonic smiled and went to say his made up excuse only for him to retract just as he was about to speak.

“No. You already used that ten times! Amy’s not that stupid to fall for it again”

“Uh… uh….” Sonic continued to stammer, noticing Amy’s wide smile as he realized he’ll be drafted into her plans at any given second. He continued darting his eyes between the vast clear ocean, its pure white sand and its green colored hills, none of it coming up with what he needed.

Then, a gargantuan creature, with a green frog perched on his shoulder, stumbled just across from them and in that moment, the blue blur grinned. He had found his ticket out of this sticky situation.

Sonic bolted past Amy and towards Big the Cat. Before the lumbering oaf couldn’t even realize what was transpiring, Sonic ripped Froggy off of his best friend and threw him across the ocean, disappearing in the horizon.

“Sorry Amy, I really like to, but I just remembered I have to help Big find Froggy!” Sonic half haphazardly explained.

Big the Cat jumped up in shock, realizing his best friend, his brother, left him once more. “Froggy!? Froggy, where are you!?”

The gigantic purple creature ran around in circles, throwing his arms up in the air and waving his fishing pole around. He attempted to find his amphibian friend on the white sand while Sonic simply shrugged his shoulders.

Amy folded her arms and glared at her crush, knowing full well what he was trying to do. “Sonic, you asshole.”

Peter jumped up between the characters, as if he traversed between worlds to address the reader directly. He smiled at them and exclaimed “The Godzilla fans will appreciate this Sonic reference because they’re all autistic!”

 

Chapter 7: The Breakup

It was a rowdy night at a Rhode Island bar known as the Drunken Clam. Drinks were spilled and drunk murmurings were spewed out. Four men sat in the booth, all of them looking too far gone for any coherent thought.

“What…. what …. Are you talkin’ about Joe…..” Peter stumbled between words, his train of thought absolutely ruined. Yet, his mind wanted to continue on, to shut down his friend in the free for all they were having. “Iron…. Iron Mang has the best ult… in Marvel Rivals…. Or…. was that…. Iron Lung.”

“No way……” Joe attempted to speak before slumping over, letting sleep overtake him. His head collided with the table, waking him back up, slightly reinitiating his memory. “Everyone…. Everyone can block it….. It’s useless…”

“You just gotta play…. The game…. For it to be useful…” Cleveland stuttered, taking another swig from his bottle.

“At least it’s better than….. Grok…. With his stupid…. Vine crap….” Peter spat out directly to Joe, intending to tell him his main sucks.

“I don’t…. Use Groudon…. I’m a Venom main…..” Joe stammered, lightly patting his left cheek.

“His ult sucks too…. Just tryin’ to swallow a bunch of fellas…” spat Peter, strengthening the grip on his beer.

“At least… I’m not someone who stormed the capitol…..” Joe spoke, defending himself from his choice of main.

“That’s the first smart thing you said…… that version of the….. Punisher would do that…” Cleveland pointed out, seeing the resemblance.

“The best outfits are….. Psylocke and Luna Snow’s swimsuits….. Giggity….” Quagmire chimed in, downing a shot of whiskey.

“Quagmire…. Quags…..that’s not… what this is about…. You silly willy…” Peter replied, attempting to get the conversation back on track.

“There’s so much to get out of those skins…. The smooth skin on them….. I can stare at them all day…. The hips….. The booty!” Quagmire rambled on, feeling an intense amount of joy from talking about his favorite aspects of the game.

“THE GOON WILL HAUNT YOU!” Cleveland screamed at the top of his lungs, launching his finger at his perverted friend, wanting the creep to be smited.

“Shut up, Cleveland….. He’s not at full mass…. It does…. Doesn’t work like that…” Peter rattled on, pressing his hands on the wooden table and pushing himself out of the booth. He struggled to stand, his arms were swinging back and forth, barely being able to address his friends. “This conversation is making me frisky for my husband….”

“Don’t you mean…. Your wife?” Joe inquired, feeling a brief sense of clarity within his drunken stupor.

“Yeah….. Louis….”

“I thought you were phasing out gay jokes?” Cleveland asked, feeling himself at a loss with his friend’s multiple promises.

“Once again…. That was….. That was taken wildly out of context….” Peter dismissed, inching himself away from his friends and towards the exit. He pushed the door out and stumbled home, his mind becoming a complete enigma even to himself.

After what only felt like a few minutes, he arrived at the entrance of his home. The drunkard pushed the door open and waddled through the living room. He took his first steps up the staircase, ascending to his objective, feeling himself becoming excited at spending the night with his beloved.

“Lois…. You in there?” Peter asked, upon seeing a figure moving around in the darkness. He waited a moment, but a voice was not heard. The fat man chuckled, rubbing his hands together at the revelation. “Oh… the silent treatment….. Hot….”

The patriarch stumbled into the bedroom, barely making his way around his surroundings as he inched towards the darkened figure. The figure attempted to move away, but Peter was relentless, laughing about the encounter, pulling her closer to him and completely forgetting to take his clothes off.

“Mhm……” Peter hummed, pressing his lips against his wife, feeling a great surge of energy from point of contact. Combined with his drunken state, the foreign substance he felt himself attaining made him feel like he was on cloud nine. “Yeah…. Give me more of that oxygen…. Lois….”

Peter wrapped his tightly around the spiky body of the culprit, feeling himself having the best night of his life already. He had no idea what he did to deserve a woman like Lois, but he wasn’t going to question it. He was going to revel in it.

“Holy fuck…… I’m cu—” Peter attempted to squeal out, feeling almost at his best when the lights came on, casting out the darkness he enveloped himself in.

The light temporarily blinded the fat man, throwing him off his game. He snapped his head towards the source of the switch. Peter slowly rubbed his eyes to see Lois standing in the door frame, crossing her arms and casting a look of shame down on him.

The worst had yet to arrive.

“Petah, that’s not me, it’s Destoroyah,” Lois pointed out, frowning at Peter making out with someone else despite not intentionally doing so. Even if he was drunk, she detested how stupid her husband could be by not knowing how her body felt. It was nowhere as sharp as the crustacean’s.

Peter’s mouth quivered, realizing Lois was not with him just minutes before. His heart was pounding fast, forcing him to turn around to see it was none other than Ebirah standing just in front of him on his bed.

“Oh my god!” Peter yelled out, some sense of clarity washing over him. His entire body trembling, looking back at the Perfect Lifeform staring back at him with seemingly no emotion on their face. The fat man slowly raised his finger up to his best friend, shaking with every second out of pure disgust. “You…. you lied to me!”

Destoroyah reared her head back in disgust, baffled at how the fat man could blame them for lying. They were completely up front on who they were while the idiot just assumed they were someone they were not.

It wasn’t even the worst part for them. They felt so disgusted with their entire life at being forced to commit the heinous act of love, because he couldn’t think for five seconds.

“You’re….. A Destoroyah!” Peter exclaimed, pressing his hands against his face, feeling the intense amount of sweat running down it.

The Perfect Lifeform squinted her eyes, still completely blown away it took him nearly two weeks for him to figure it out. He truly had to be the dumbest person on the entire planet and it was no contest.

“Ebirah would have never tricked me! That means…. You’re also a Marleyan spy!” Peter yelled out, grabbing a hold of their shoulders, shaking them back and forth. “What are you after!? Why do you want to see Eldia fall!?”

Her body shook back and forth and it made her hiss at the fat man. Whatever cosmic force was holding her back, made her despise it more and more. They couldn’t take it anymore, this restraint was agonizing. She needed to expel it all, the hatred.

He needed to die.

Destoroyah shrieked out.

Their inner mouth launched out, striking Peter’s throat, tearing a huge chunk of it out. Blood spurted and geysered, splashing across their face.

Time froze.

Destoroyah couldn’t believe it, feeling herself overwhelmed with a sensation almost foreign to her.

Joy.

Whatever was holding them back, no longer had their iron clad grip on her shoulder. She was now free. Free to act exactly how she wanted.

“Petah!” Lois cried out upon seeing husband gagging, as more and more blood poured out of his wound. She stood frozen, watching Destoroyah charge up a micro-oxygen beam, taking note of the purple energy surrounding it.

Destoroyah fired its beam, striking Peter in the stomach, ripping apart the fabric of his shirt and blasting away his stomach. The patriarch felt his vision fading away while every vital organ was pouring out of his body, bloodying the sheets.

Peter barely clung to life, feeling his body slump towards Destoroyah. The Perfect Lifeform nearly felt giddy in response to seeing her tormentor on death’s door and prepared to launch their inner jaws in between his eyes. Destoroyah launched their tendrils into Peter’s shoulders, pulling him closer to her.

The crustacean hissed directly in Peter’s face, ushering out their frustration at the fat man, but he didn’t register. His eyes were barely open signifying his vision turning black. It didn’t matter to Destoroyah, she will soon be free and this will be nothing but a series of embarrassing memories.

Destoroyah went for the kill when Peter’s entire body lit up, forcing her to pause the assault. Energy circled around him, allowing Peter to spring back to life as his eyes glared at his newfound enemy.

Lighting shot down from the clear night sky, blasting through the roof and striking the Titan Shifter. Before anyone could realize, a gargantuan body formed in Peter’s presence. Muscles covered up a skeleton as skin followed shortly, completely enveloping the head of the household.

Peter’s new form broke through the second flood, his feet planted firmly in the kitchen, demolishing everything it touched. The shockwave from the Attack Titan’s transformation sent Destoroyah flying across the bedroom, blowing up the bulk of the second story in the process.

Pieces of wood collapsed as the entire foundation of the Griffin residence was falling apart. It didn’t matter to either Destoroyah or the Attack Titan, as the former shook her head, recovering from the hard impact against the wall. She shrieked at the towering form the fat man took on, taking note of his more monstrous appearance.

The first thing she noticed was the massive rolls on his stomach, feeling disgusted by his appearance, but an opportunity to latch onto them if need be. His hair was longer than it should be and his eyes were pure white, as if there was nothing to them.

Destoroyah stretched their tendrils, ushering out a shriek. The Attack Titan matched her screams and pressed forward, destroying what remained of his bedroom through his movements. He swung forward, attempting to smash Destoroyah against the wall and squash her like a bug.

The Perfect Lifeform leapt up and crawled up his arm. Each step, she made sure to use her feet to impale his arm, drawing small increments of steam out of the newly created holes. The Attack Titan roared out in fury at his misstep, watching them crawl up their arm and fire their micro-oxygen beam.

The purple beam of energy struck the Attack Titan’s throat, eliciting out a gurgled cry. Destoroyah shrieked out with joy, crawling further and further up their arm until they reached the side of his head. The Perfect Lifeform spat out her second jaw, puncturing the side of his cheek and being met with boiling hot blood.

Destoroyah winced at the pain, but pushed it back, feeling the greater sensation of her abuser in pain. The Destroyer followed it up several more times with her jaws, tearing into the right side of his monstrous face, revealing bone.

The Attack Titan snarled, absolutely furious at her constant attacks. He roared out and slammed his hand against his face, catching Destoroyah within his finger tips. The Perfect Lifeform shrieked at the fat man, bringing her face to face. He despised the creature he once called ‘friend’ and needed to make her suffer for what they did to him.

Destoroyah, taking the opportunity presented to her, fired another round of her micro-oxygen, striking him in the face. The Attack Titan roared, almost losing his grip on the crustacean, but squeezed her tightly, keeping her firmly in his grasp. Learning his lesson, he ushered out another roar and slammed through the tiny piece that remained of his room. The resulting impact broke through it and caused Destoroyah to fall onto the kitchen floor, feeling pieces of wood tremble upon their spiky body.

Off in the next room barely being held together, a pair of eyes slowly opened up. Brian panted, realizing he had been knocked out by a large explosion. He saw Stewie running towards his closet, pressing a few buttons on the console nearby.

“Stewie?” he murmured, pushing himself up and limping towards the infant. “What’s going on?”

“The fat man transformed and had a falling out with Destoroyah,” answered the genius baby, pressing the final bit of code needed to enter the facility.

“Help!” the matriarch begged, startling the two as Brian saw from the corner of his eye, Lois hanging for dear life. “Someone help me!”

“Oh my god! Lois!” Brian cried out, intending to run off and rescue her.

“Not so fast, Bri!” Stewie called out, opening up a box, loaded with gear inside. “ I have Ultrahard steel blades and ODM gear we can use to stop the fat man!”

The infant threw the belt-like gear and blades at Brian, allowing him to catch them.

“You have material from Attack on Titan?”

“How do you keep forgetting I have a weapons closet?” Stewie vocalized, snapping the belt together and equipping the blades into the holders. “ I’m an evil genius after all.”

Brian simply frowned at his statement, knowing it was far from the truth. “People remember you more as a gay baby than an evil genius.”

“And people remember you more as an alcoholic douche than a voice of reason. We’re both shadows of our former selves,” Stewie scoffed, walking out of the room to rid his home of the monsters plaguing it.

The Attack Titan roared in fury, slamming his fist down onto the kitchen floor. Destoroyah leapt out of the way, shrieking out. They ran their tendril across the counter, launching every appliance she made contact with up at the Titan’s face, temporarily blinding him. The Perfect Lifeform charged forward and sent her jaw straight into his right foot’s big toe, ripping it off with ease.

The Avatar of Freedom bellowed, feeling his movements impeded as it took a moment for his wound to heal. Using his other foot, he stomped forward, knocking Destoroyah off her feet and onto her side. They struggled to get up, with the Attack Titan glaring down at them. He yanked them off the ground and swung them through the kitchen wall, shattering it.

Destoroyah collapsed into the couch, ripping it in half and landing just in front of the television. The Attack Titan broke through the remainder of the barrier and kicked the couch out of the way, staring down at the betrayer once more.

The Perfect Lifeform leapt up once more, firing several rounds of its beam at the Attack Titan, tearing into his flesh. The Attack Titan roared, attempting to swipe at the creature, but she was too fast for him. Destoroyah crawled all over his body, realizing a battle of attrition was needed to tire the blob out. She mixed it between her micro-oxygen, her secondary jaw and even her footsteps to break him down in every aspect physically.

“Help!” Lois desperately pleaded, barely hanging on to what remained of the surface. She glanced down to see several piles of wood pointing up at her while scorched in flames. She didn’t have much strength left to hold on as one by one, her fingers slid off.

Rumbling from the fight cracked the surface into pieces, taking away any sort of sanctuary she had left. Lois screamed out, her life completely forfeit.

“Gotcha!” Brian exclaimed, swinging by with the ODM gear and grabbing a hold of her. He brought her to safety by placing her onto the street. They stood for a moment, watching their home being demolished piece by piece, gaining a chance to catch their breaths.

“Thank you, Brian! You’re a lifesaver,” Lois spoke, absolutely relieved to see her dog coming to her aid when she needed it most.

“All in a day’s work of a scout,” Brian proudly said, presenting a smug look to her while he stood heroically. “I suppose a hero could be rewarded with a kiss of some kind.”

“In your fucking dreams, Brian,” Lois spat out with disgust, feeling the moment of chivalry completely ruined.

“Whatever,” Brian muttered, shooting off back into the house to assist Stewie with the situation they were cascaded into.

The dog made his way up to Stewie, observing the fight just below them. He took note of every action between the combatants before glancing over to Brian. “We gotta dispatch whoever wins this, because if we don’t, then all of us will die either by Destoroyah or the fat man’s stupidity.”

“It shouldn’t be too hard, right?” inquired Brian, watching the Attack Titan scream out from Destoroyah ripping out another piece of his flesh. The Perfect Lifeform held the roll of fat in their mouth before spitting it out and going back in for another.

“Surprisingly, I want the fat man to win because it’s easier to slice the back of his neck open. Destoroyah? I don’t have anything cold to counter it,” Stewie rationalized.

The Attack Titan felt himself at his limit out of the constant hit and run attacks the Perfect Lifeform was throwing at him. Any given moment, his body will give out as his regeneration was slightly all too new to him. He froze for a second, allowing himself to really feel where Destoroyah was crawling around, tracking their movements.

The Titan screamed out, slamming their hand onto their back, catching Destoroyah once more. He pulled them over his shoulder and stared at them once more. The Attack Titan noticed Destoroyah’s hissing nature, defying him at every turn. In his anger, his hand gripped her entire body, crushing it as she threw up yellowish-green blood. However, thanks to her spiky body, it was impaling his hand, evoking another pained scream.

Crushing her wouldn’t work, but he still wanted them to suffer for their heinous act of betrayal. The Attack Titan turned his entire body around and threw the Perfect Lifeform, sending her flying across Quahog, disappearing off into the distance.

The Attack Titan roared out in victory, feeling prideful over winning his first ever fight. Then, in the corner of his eye, he saw two figures above him, staring down at them. He growled, feeling an intense amount of anger towards them.

“Oh crap! He noticed us!” Stewie shouted, swinging past his charging fist as Brian followed suit.

Hooks hooked into the ruined walls, allowing Stewie to slice Peter’s left side. Blood poured out of his body with Brian swinging his blades into Peter’s right leg. The ultrahard steel sliced through it like a hot knife against butter. The Attack Titan’s body collapsed onto his knees, howlering with fury.

“Dang Stewie!” Brian called out excitedly, taking his eyes off his destination and admiring his gear. “I really do feel like a character in Attack on Tit….”

The dog couldn’t even finish his thoughts when he crashed straight into a wall, knocking himself out. Stewie rolled his eyes, swinging up and down against Peter’s titanized form. “Eeyup. You really are a character in the show.”

The Attack Titan roared once more at the combative baby, but Stewie felt no fear at the monster before him. He zoomed past him, dodging his strikes and placing himself on the back of his neck. Grabbing a hold of both blades, Stewie cut open his neck and was greeted with steam, knocking him off of his body by extreme pressure.

The Avatar of Freedom turned to strike the downed baby only to feel his entire body giving out. The Attack Titan’s vision ceased, plunging him into darkness as the last thing he heard was his own body hitting the surface.

 

Chapter 8: Reflections

SPLASH!

Destoroyah’s body plunged underneath the water. The Perfect Lifeform kept their focus on the moon, sinking lower and lower, allowing the body of water to push them forward. Her body was in a bad state, barely able to move any part of it. Out of everyone they fought, the fat Irish bastard was the one to nearly kill them.

It despised that feeling.

The feeling of knowing their life could have ended at any moment either from his pure idiotic rage or his unfunny hijinks. It gave Destoroyah time to ponder, allowing time to heal their bruised and broken body. She turned her head slightly to see all major parts of her body still in place, but some of its spikes were torn apart. Whether it was from the fat man himself or their collision with the water, it didn’t matter.

To be reduced to this state was unacceptable.

When time will become kind to them, she will enact her revenge and take everything from Peter Griffin once and for all.

Her perspective changed, feeling her entire body being dragged by a strong current, Destoroyah was pushed out of the body of water and down a sewer.

SPLASH!

Destoroyah continued to be pushed by the stream, taking note of its concrete surroundings. The Perfect Lifeform mused for how long it’ll be trapped until they meet the current’s end. That thought didn’t last long, with red tendrils like their own pulled her out.

The Perfect Lifeform struggled to stand up, gagging in response. She shook her head, wondering who’d be stupid enough to bring them out of the water. Destoroyah unleashed her second mouth, intending to reward them with death only to find herself face to face with several more of her kind.

She ceased her movement and stood still, taking note of the others staring back at her. Her teeth chattering, communicating with their fellow kin. One step forward, moving their second mouth in and out of their jaw, telling her she was welcome in their sanctuary.

Destoroyah sighed in relief, feeling at home with the kin in her presence. She allowed herself to rest, collapsing next to a wall while she glanced over at the other members of the community. They were all either patrolling the area, conversing amongst themselves off doing their own things. One was fidgeting their body around on a glowing platform, trying to mimic the movements of the character on the screen plastered above them. Another was fiddling around with a tape player, tapping away at the buttons to find the right setting it needed.

The distant lifeform gently pressed a button with their tendril, allowing a static-like noise to play. The Destoroyah walked up to her, taking note of the necklace wrapped around her neck. “Hey, what is with that crap around your neck,” a distorted voice came from the crustacean.

Destoroyah shook her head, initially put off by the distorted voice only to realize it was coming from the device he was fiddling with. She lightly growled, finding her vocals translating to human speech; albeit very poorly. “Some fat idiot thought I was his friend and made me wear it.”

“Would you like it removed?” the other Destoroyah inquired, staring at it with disgust.

“I tried, but he used glue and peanut butter to make sure it’d never be removed,” she explained, feeling as if a mark of shame was branded onto her. Turning her attention back to the player, she was baffled at their fascination with such a useless device. “Why do you even need that?”

“It helps the idiots who are reading this to understand us,” the other aggregate explained.

The other Destoroyah huffed, baffled by the explanation, but nonetheless, went on with it. She then glanced back at the other members of their kin moseying around the area, feeling at peace. The community they were able to build here delighted him, but couldn’t sit back knowing a member of his kind was feeling distraught. They were the Perfect Lifeforms after all, and humanity needed to know that.

“How would you like to proceed against this fat man?” he hissed, eager to head to the surface and cause carnage upon the citizens of Quahog.

She looked back at him and chuckled, already feeling pride wash over her. With their help, she will enact vengeance upon Peter and deliver him to oblivion. For he will know what agony is when she tears the eyes out of Lois and rip the baby’s head from his body.

The Destoroyah went to speak when she was interrupted by a voice nearby. “I got an XL pepperoni and ten ounces of weed for Dennis.”

The two aggregates looked at each other with disbelief, readying themselves to tear apart the skinny delivery boy for wandering into their lair. His colorful clothing disgusted them with his red windbreaker jacket, white t-shirt, and blue jeans. They went to rush towards him when they were beaten to the punch by another of their kind. Unlike their aggressive nature, this one was more energetic.

“Yipee!” the Destoroyah’s garbled cries echoed out, placing the fifty dollar bill into the delivery boy’s hand.

The giddy crustacean grabbed a hold of their consumables and walked away. The other two aggregates stared up at the man, reading ‘Vincent’ on his nametag.

“Banger party you got here,” the delivery boy spoke, admiring the view of all the Perfect Lifeforms socializing, taking note of them playing on a PS5, dancing to music and setting up a game of poker.

A pause followed with the two aggregates staring up at him, wondering why he was still present. She forward, hissing at the man seemingly admiring the get together. “Get out!”

“Fuck!” Vincent barked back, throwing his hand out and taking a step back. “Chill! I have other places to be.”

The delivery man stormed out of their area of the sewer, leaving the Destoroyahs alone to converse once again about their plan. She gave her new comrade her attention once more and murmured, “I was thinking we destroy his prized possession in front of his very eyes as a start.”

The other aggregate moved his head forward, entranced by her plan already. His teeth chattered, eager to know more. “And what exactly is his prized possession?”

“Peter’s Funland,” she gurgled with delight, already envisioning the carnage they would bring upon everyone. A declaration to show the Destoroyah will not be trifled with.

“I got an XL pepperoni, peanut butter, clams, hot fudge, and popcorn for a Michaelangelo!” Vincent’s voice was heard, echoing throughout the sewer system.

“Cowabunga, dude!” Michelangelo called out. “The pizza is here!”

“Ah sweet!” Leonardo stated.

“Dude, Vincent, you should help us eat this pizza!” Michelangelo suggested.

“Let’s go!” Vincent called out excitedly, plopping down next to the four turtles.

Destoroyah, hearing the entire exchange of comradery, felt sick to her stomach. Absolutely disgusted by such kindness.

“Humanity needs to die.”

***

“Hehehehehehe!” Peter laughed, frolicking through a meadow. He ran his hands through the wildflowers, taking in the beautiful vista he was surrounded by. His eyes peacefully searched the area, seeing his family and friends partaking in a variety of activities. Their worries were completely out of the picture, leaving him to continue prancing around the green pasture.

He ventured further, feeling his hands brush against the tall grass until he saw with his eyes a pile of movies. Peter grinned upon reading the titles, recognizing some as his favorites. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep, Godzilla vs. Megalon, Godzilla 2000, and Shin Godzilla were amongst the pile of films. He held them close to his chest, treating them like they were his own children.

The fat man dropped to his knees, continuing to hold his embrace on the blu-rays, feeling right at home with them. Something rustled in the bushes nearby, altering Peter. He clutched the movies together, pressing them between his hands and bulging stomach.

It jumped out of the shrubs, startling him as he took notice of its hideous appearance. A bootleg DVD of an abominable snowman plastered in front of a yellow background with the words ‘Half Human’ popping out. It let out a monstrous shriek, intending to latch onto the Tokusatsu lover.

Peter cried out, clutching his beloved films tightly in one arm while he attempted to defend himself with his remaining hand. He swiped at the charging bootleg, but it zoomed past him, traversing up his arm and jumping up. It looked down at him devilishly before diving straight into his face.

“Wait!” Peter screamed out in terror, only wanting to be left in peace with his loved ones.

It still fell on deaf ears.

The DVD covered his entire vision, leaving him in darkness.

“I don’t want to die!” Peter screamed out, launching himself upwards. He panted heavily, snapping his head around only to find he was no longer in the beautiful field, but in a bedroom. One far too fancy to be his own.

He continued breathing, clutching at his chest, feeling the fabric of his blue night shirt in his hand. Peter pulled the covers off of him and shifted his body to the side of the bed, continuing to regain his composure.

The door opened up with his family walking in after hearing his cries of distress. Peter breathed a sigh of relief, knowing it was nothing but a bad dream and not reality.

“What… what happened?” Peter asked, taking another look around the room to see several well detailed paintings hanging on the wall and statues of the highest quality around them. “And why are we at your parents house?”

“You destroyed our house when you realized Destoroyah wasn’t Ebirah,” Lois explained, sitting next to Peter on the bed.

“Oh…. yeah….” Peter murmured, tilting his head down as he rested his hands on his knees. The event last night was coming back to him. The destruction and the carnage, but the lies devastated him the most. He never felt so hurt before, so lost. Someone he thought he could trust with his life, someone he’d do anything for, only for them to lie straight to his face from the very moment they met. “My Eren experience of Reiner and Burrito’s betrayal.”

A pause soon followed with everyone staring at him.

“Season 2 episode 6 of Attack on Titan,” Peter clarified before looking down again.

“We got that, dad,” Chris voiced.

“Does he not care about destroying our house for the eightieth time!?” Stewie exclaimed, baffled at how his father could be upset over his gross negligence of reading a kaiju compared to the wellbeing of his family.

“Thanks for your concern, Stewie, but daddy still feels upset about being lied to by mid,” Peter choked out, fighting back the tears about the betrayal.

“That’s not what I said!” Stewie called out, irritated by his father not understanding him.

Lois lightly caressed her husband’s back, trying to empathize with him. She was still annoyed by his destruction, but knew it wasn’t intentional like every other time. He had no control over his transformation from Destoroyah’s attack and wouldn’t have done so otherwise.

She then huffed, realizing the next several days would be her having to deal with his pouting. The matriarch had to figure out something as he was slumping further downwards, sighing loudly.

“Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward.”

Stewie nudged Brian. “I feel like our top ten list should have something to do with betrayal.”

Brian hummed, trying to figure out if it would be a good subject to cover. “It could work, but I feel like we’re still missing something.”

Lois smiled at her husband upon finding a solution to his grief. “I know, Peter. How about we all go to Bob’s Funland, since you’re no longer banned.”

“It was actually a hostile takeover, but okay….” Peter murmured, slowly getting up to change his clothes.

“What?” Lois stammered out, feeling shellshocked by her husband’s delivery, baffled at what he was talking about.

“Me and the fellas took over the park and named it Peter’s Funland,” he solemnly explained, reaching for his clothes in his suitcase. “At least it’ll go better than when I played Minecraft with the kids.”

***

“Wow! This is the world created by Jack Black!” Peter exclaimed, staring in astonishment, moving his avatar around the blocky world. He passed by several cows and chickens, making his way to the well guarded towering fortress his children crafted over the course of a month.

“Is he seriously still on about this?” Stewie asked, moving his character to the front of the citadel, harvesting the crops just outside of it.

“Here, dad, let’s get you some gear,” Chris relayed, motioning for him to follow himself inside the castle. They stepped inside with Peter looking at the stone walls adorned with several paintings. He then shifted his eyes over to multiple furnaces cooking up minerals and food to fuel them for several expeditions.

“Give dad the copper equipment, he’ll need it,” Meg voiced, crafting together several pieces of equipment.

“No way. I want diamond armor so I can fight the chicken jockey!” Peter exclaimed excitedly.

“Minecraft did not start out as a movie, you dolt!” Stewie cried out angrily, feeling an intense amount of hatred over constantly being reminded of the adaptation.

Chris’s avatar pulled out the copper equipment from a nearby chest and placed it in front of his father. Peter sighed and reluctantly put it on, feeling protected from the dangers in the world he was told about.

“Are we doing a raid or just exploring today?” inquired Chris.

“I just downloaded the SCP pack, so I figured we can explore one of those facilities,” Stewie relayed, looking at the manuals containing the basics for how they function.

“Flint and steel!” Peter giggled, pulling the item out of the chest as he started rubbing them together.

“Whatever,” Stewie groaned, not wanting to bother explaining every mechanic of the game to someone who will forget in five seconds. “You can keep it in your inventory.”

“I’m sure we can handle whatever is in those facilities,” Meg pointed out, repairing her armor before putting it back on.

“As long as we come up with a game plan, we can get some good loot,” Chris added.

“Hey guys!” Peter exclaimed, swapping through his inventory until he held out TNT in the palm of his hand. “I made a thing that’ll make the fortress look even better!”

“Dad, no!” Chris exclaimed, but his cries fell on deaf ears.

Peter started placing several cubes of TNT before switching back to his flint and steel.

“Oh god! What is he doing!?” Stewie exclaimed, moving his character towards the entrance of the building. He opened the door only to see Peter’s avatar hitting it with his item.

HISS!

For a brief moment there was silence.

BOOOOM!

Every piece of TNT laid out detonated, leveling the entire base of operations and killing everyone on sight. All four players saw the same screen.

“YOU DIED!”

“Did we win?” Peter asked excitedly upon seeing the game was potentially over.

“Dad! What the hell!?” Meg cried out, furious at her father’s stupidity.

“I was level forty!” Chris moaned, slamming his fist onto his desk in a fit of rage. He pulled a green Prime bottle from under his desk and consumed the liquid inside, attempting to ease his frustrations.

“Thanks a lot, dick!” Stewie shouted, ripping his headset off and walking away.

 

Chapter 9: Attack Titan vs. Destoroyah: Rollercoaster Rumbling

The Griffins piled out of the car and arrived at the park. Burying his hands in his pockets, Peter kept his head low as he moseyed his way towards the entrance. He wanted to look on the brightside, to be with his friends and to improve upon Peter’s Funland, but the betrayal still stung.

His heart ached.

Peter felt the metal lightly tapping against his chest and looked down at the necklace. He grimaced at the object making contact with his skin, ripping it off. The fat man stuffed it into pocket, knowing he could either pawn it off or melt it down for something better and more deserving. Something that won’t evoke betraying him.

He shuffled closer to the entrance when he looked up to study his surroundings, hoping it’ll improve his mood. His eyes scanned each of the towering attractions, envisioning changes to make them more like Attack on Titan. Peter looked at the sign and noticed it was labeled as ‘Bob’s Funland’.

“Ah what the hell!?” Peter exclaimed, feeling the sadness be replaced by anger over the lack of progress. “Why hasn’t the sign changed yet?”

“We’re waiting for the ‘P’ to be shipped!” Cleveland called out.

“Whatever, let’s just get this over with,” Peter mumbled, pouting over the delay and entering the park.

Minutes turned into hours as the Griffins and friends were all enjoying the rides together until they veered off into different directions. Looking up at an orange roller coaster getting a brand new paintjob with a crew painting part of it with a cream color, Stewie and Brian continued to ponder on the design change.

“Seems like the fat man is going all in on changing the park,” Stewie pointed out, taking a sip from a tiny cup.

“Between ‘Warhammer’s Wild Whammy’ and ‘Colossal Crumbling’, I shudder to think what he’s calling this one,” Brian voiced his concern, keeping his eyes on the paintjob on top of them.

Stewie opened up the pamphlet in his hands, reading its contents. “Apparently it’s being called ‘Vore Hole’.”

“Ew!” Brian gagged, taking a step back.

“Eeyup. A bunch of ew,” Stewie concurred, placing the pamphlet in his backpack. “But it does give me an idea. Top Ten Kaiju-themed rides.”

Brian sighed. “I like the idea, but are there even enough rides to make that list and besides don’t we need to go to those parks to make it feel authentic.”

“It’s the internet, Bri. We can just make a random top ten and people will eat it up,” Stewie relayed. “And we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. It’s either this or just be a basic bitch like everyone else.”

“I suppose we can keep that one, then,” Brian said, pinching the gap between his eyes. “This is more difficult than a conversation about Transformers.

***

“On god is Wheelie annoying!” Stewie called out.

“What are you on about? He’s one of the funniest characters of the series!” Joe spat back, feeling enamoured by the bot’s rhyming.

“Friends find, look behind!” Alex quoted from the small Autobot, stretching his arms out to illustrate his point. “He has some of the most memorable quotes in the franchise.”

“Doesn’t make him good!” Stewie argued back. “It’s like saying Jar Jar is good just by his lines.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Jo cried out, taking great offense at such a beloved character from 1986 being slandered.

Alex shook his head and placed his hand on Jo’s shoulder to comfort her, glaring at the infant. “He’s just jealous Wheelie outlived Optimus, Galvatron, and Ultra Magnus in Headmasters.”

“Oh how I hate the Japanese,” Brian muttered, disgusted by their standards when it came to not only a Transformers show but their version of what made a continuity.

Alex and Jo turned over to the dog, their hatred transferring over to him instead. Brian was completely oblivious to what he said before his two opponents turned back to each other. They nodded to each before Alex reached from a shelf and grabbed a hammer, smacking it against his nose, shattering every bone in it. Brian cried out while Jo lifted a stereo above her head and smashed it down on his head, knocking him out instantly.

***

“Wow!” Peter exclaimed happily, stretching his arms after getting off the newly christened ride ‘Sasha’s Bumper Potatoes’ with his wife and friends following behind him. “Who would have thought you could have so much fun by stealing someone else’s idea?”

“Family Guy?” Joe asked.

“Joseph!” Peter angrily vocalized, slapping the red scarf off of Joe. The fat man then turned around in a huff while Joe wrapped the scarf back on to himself.

“That was a gift from my best friend in elementary school, you know?” Joe spoke, letting his hand rest on the neckwarmer.

“Nice story, Joe, but you’re still Reiner whether you like it or not,” Peter relayed, moving forward with the rest of the group following him. Joe looked down in sadness, even if he knew the similarities between him and his assigned character, he still dreamed of being Mikasa. The baddest character in the entire show made him believe he could do anything he wanted.

“I bet this day out in the park had made you feel better, Petah,” Lois said happily, placing her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it slightly.

“It sure has, Lois, and it made me forget all my worries,” Peter murmured, feeling himself beginning to relax from the light rub.

“OH MY GOD!” a woman cried out, snapping everyone in the group’s attention towards the source of the commotion.

Several beams were heard, with explosions following suit. Vendor stands and buildings erupted into flames, blocking the path out of the park for all attendants. People ran from the oncoming maelstrom, crying from the death around them while children ran out of the arcade, clinging to their last coins.

Multiple Destoroyahs rushed out of the black smoke, annihilating everyone they came across. One leapt up on a fleeing man, piercing through his back and tearing out his spinal cord with their secondary jaws. Another fired micro-oxygen beam directly through the face of a woman, creating a lasting crater as she collapsed onto her back.

The carnage was unfathomable, something no one in Quahog could ever expect. Blood painted the stone paths while attractions were littered with organs. Peter’s Funland was falling and soon the rest of the city would follow if no one stopped them.

“Petah, we need to get out of here!” Lois cried out, gripping her husband’s shoulder as she pointed at the charging menace.

“Don’t need to tell me twice!” Cleveland yelled out, bolting off to a nearby trashcan and plunging himself into it, hiding away from the crustacean threat.

“I don’t intend to hide, Lois!” Peter declared, turning back to her and feeling the rage of betrayal wash over him once more. “The rest of you can cower all you want, but I still got a score to settle.”

The fat man bashed his hands together, walking towards the oncoming horde with no fear in his eyes. It’s what Eren would have done and he didn’t intend to disappoint him or the great nation of Eldia. Peter cracked his neck as a Destoroyah shrieked out towards him, stretching their tendrils out towards him.

Peter yelled out, pointing his elbow towards the Destoroyah, striking it against their neck. The Perfect Lifeform gagged as Peter reached inside a stand, taking note of the bubbling grease inside. He grabbed a hold of a grease trap and flung it at the creature, its boiling contents splashed against it. The Destoroyah shrieked out in agony, its face blistering up while temperatures boiled up. It continued writhing around on the ground while Peter walked past it, preparing to face more of its kind.

Grabbing a hold of a lollipop from a severed hand, he gave it a couple of licks before flipping it over. A Destoroyah growled at him, but he effortlessly slammed the tip of the candy into its eyes, squirting blood out on his clothing.

“Eh. You bastard!” Peter growled with disgust, inspecting the yellowish-green stain on his grey coat. “You ruined my favorite hoodie!”

Peter grabbed the creature’s head with both hands and pushed, evoking a large snap. The Destoroyah went lifeless, collapsing to the ground. Peter relinquished his hold on the dead creature before turning over to see what he hated most in the moment.

The Destoroyah who fooled him.

She stood on the opposite side, glaring at him while the necklace he gifted her swung with the wind. The sight of it infuriated the patriarch, as if they were holding onto it as a trophy, for how easy it was to deceive him.

The Perfect Lifeform kept her eyes peeled on him. The day had come where she could eradicate her jailer, her abuser. The man who subjected her to so many of his terrible cutaways will now be ripped apart limb by her tendrils.

Peter tightened his fist and shook, rage overtaking him. He stepped forward, shooting his index finger up while his voice built.

“TRAITOR!!!!!!!”

His voice was monstrous, shaking the very ground she stood on. The anger, she could see it illuminate from his body and couldn’t but chuckle from the ridiculously display. Seeing the fat man so far away from his annoying antics was a welcomed sight to behold. He was aggravating to deal with, but his anger was far more palatable.

“You’re wearing that necklace to get a rise out of me, you Marleyan whore!” Peter screamed out once again.

The Destoroyah rolled her eyes, still not realizing it was his fault the necklace won’t come off. She spat, dismissing his raging claims as she gurgled out. Her fellow kin came rushing up to her aid as in the blink of an eye, she towered over her nemesis.

Peter’s eyes widened upon seeing his foe’s display of power. Destoroyah retained the same image, but was now several meters taller and ready to end a normal guy in one fell swoop. Unfortunately for them, he wasn’t a normal guy, but a family guy.

The fat man leaned downwards and dug his teeth straight into his arm. Blood gushed straight into his mouth and down his throat while he tore off his own limb. Letting the arm drop to the ground, a shot of lightning came down, reforming his entire body into the Attack Titan.

The Avatar of Freedom matched her height and slapped his stomach several times over, shrieking out to the heavens. He bashed his fists together and charged towards his nemesis. The Attack Titan maneuvered his right fist, sending it straight towards Destoroyah’s face. The Perfect Lifeform anticipated his misguided attempt to harm them and shot its tendril forward, going right through his arm.

The obese Titan screamed out with blood shooting up like a geyser, blanketing both of their limbs with his blood. Destoroyah cackled with delight, Peter wasn’t going to stand for it as he struck her face with his other hand, sending them reeling back. The Attack Titan grabbed a hold of the tendril and yanked it out of his wounded arm.

The Attack Titan huffed, staring at his arm healing at an exponential rate, steam sizzling out of his closing wounds. He raised his hands back up, watching the recovering Destoroyah closely. She shrieked out once more, firing an Oxygen Destroyer Beam. Its beam trailing towards the Attack Titan, forcing him to evade the beam by sidestepping its entirety. It still wouldn’t come without cost as it struck a poor green and orange stand known as ‘Petra’s Pineapple Paradise’.

The stand exploded into pieces, impaling anyone unlucky to be near it with pieces of wood. Peter, witnessing the heinous display, ushered out another roar and bolted towards her. Lifting up his bulging stomach, he swung it at them with both hands, sending her stumbling towards the ‘Vore Hole’, breaking away a large portion of the ride.

The Attack Titan raced towards the ruined ride, facing the rising kaiju once again. Peter kicked Destoroyah in the stomach, eliciting another cry as she retaliated by slamming her head into his stomach. Unleashing her jaw, she pierced into a roll of fat and ripped it out. She spat it out while Peter covered his wounded stomach and turned around slightly, planning a move she’ll never see coming. He lifted his leg up and sent it swinging towards the crustacean, forcing them to stumble backwards.

“Hehehe. Roadhouse.”

Hearing the screams of terror on the roller coaster, the Attack Titan turned to see the cart full of people racing towards them. He eyed the recovering Destoroyah charging towards him, taking note of the citizens in danger. The Titan lightly grumbled, grabbing a hold of the track and using all the strength afforded to him, he turned the trajectory of the track, aiming straight at the malevolent being.

Everyone screamed. The cart went off the rails, crashing straight into Destoroyah’s chest, showering it with bits of debris and guts. Destoroyah paused, blinking in response from not only such a feeble attack, but sacrificing his own kind to not even being able to harm her was baffling.

If there was one thing she could give him, it was finding new and creative ways to keep her dumbfounded. A trait no other foe could ever master, but something only an idiot could accomplish. Nonetheless, his death will please her immeasurably.

Wasting no additional time, Destoroyah fired another beam from its maw, striking Peter’s Titan in the chest. The Attack Titan stumbled backwards, collapsing in the roller coaster, destroying the remainder of the ‘Vore Hole’. Its contents crumbled on top of the obese Titan, stalling him as he struggled to remove the pieces littered on top of them.

Destoroyah cackled once more, moving towards him and striking him several times with her tendrils. Debris crumbled from her attacks, piercing the fat man’s skin once again with blood seeping out of his body and steam rising out once again.

Witnessing this terrible sight was Joe sitting amongst the carnage surrounding him. He paid no attention to the other Destoroyahs running around and ripping apart the people running for their lives. All that mattered in that moment was a friend who needed help and it was up to a good man to save his life.

“I’m coming for you, Peter!”

Joe bit into his arm, tearing a small piece of his flesh and triggering a huge transformation. The police officer’s crippled body was encased with giant flesh golem, his entire figure covered with muscles. Enough to make any foe wince in fear from pure presentation.

Swanson spoke from the inside of the nape, “Don’t worry, Peter. You just leave the rest to your best friend.”

Joe attempted to move his Titan forward, to give Peter the much needed help he deserved, but he felt his entire body frozen in place. The Titan Shifter moved his avatar’s head, noticing none of his armor was on his body, but instead all of it taking the shape of an immovable wheelchair strapped to the ground.

“Dammit!” Joe screamed.

The Attack Titan stirred his head around, feeling his body riddled with holes by his towering foe. He groaned out, weakly shuffling his arms about, attempting to get her off of him, but she didn’t budge. His flesh hitting against her hardened body was laughable at best, filling her with joy as she watched his final bouts of energy on such a misguided attack.

His attacks were not without purpose, they were just there to keep her focused while the rubble cleared off of him. In combination with both of their attacks, it gave Peter the perfect opportunity to launch a special move of his own. The Attack Titan opened up his maw and held in a deep breath for a few seconds, forcing his stomach to recede and allowing Destoroyah to strike him a few more times.

The pain his Titan felt was unbearable with blood continuing to seep out and its regeneration taking on more than it could handle. No longer. The Attack Titan smirked at Destoroyah before breathing out. He shot his stomach upwards and hit Destoroyah’s body, sending her up into the sky and careening towards a different section of the park.

The Avatar of Freedom jumped up to his feet and brushed whatever debris remained. He watched as Destoroyah made impact onto the surface and rushed towards her, intending on finishing their conflict.

Elsewhere, Stewie and Brian hid out behind ‘Floch’s Cowardly Concession Stand’, fearing for their lives from the rampaging horde. They peaked out, watching a juvenile Destoroyah slam its tendrils into a woman’s body and slamming their jaws into their mouth, tearing out her entire jaw. The creature shrieked out, letting the severed jaw collapse onto the ground.

“Oh my god!” Brian nearly hollered out while both he and Stewie hid behind the stand once more with their backs pressing up against it.

“I know!” Stewie called out with disgust when all of a sudden a lightbulb went off in his head. Fear was no longer present, but excitement for an opportunity. “That’s it!”

“What is!?” Brian exclaimed, attempting to keep his voice down, but couldn’t out of the carnage surrounding them.

“Our top ten!” Stewie vocalized, pulling out his phone and slamming it on the stand, capturing a Destoroyah spraying its micro-oxygen on a family of four, puncturing holes in their stomachs before they dropped. “This could be it!”

“That is so disgusting…..” Brian trailed off, continuing to witness the massacre continuing on. He yanked out his phone and started filming alongside his best friend. “I’m in!”

“Top Ten Destoroyah Kills is going to be so good,” Stewie said out loud, filming one of the lifeforms crashing down on another fleeing attendant, impaling their entire body with its bottom spikes. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, dropping down to the ground while his murderer went towards another person, sending its jaws straight into a woman’s neck.

Crashing into the ground, Destoroyah’s head caved through a ferris wheel, looking at more of her kind chasing down fleeing civilians. They grumbled, attempting to pick themselves up, but felt themselves ensnared by the ride. Her head was physically incapable of being pulled out, eliciting a small shriek of annoyance.

THUD!

The Attack Titan landed in front of her, staring down at her trapped state. The Titan growled, but on the inside Peter simply laughed, realizing he could have some fun with the state she was in. Reaching upwards, he grabbed onto one of the carts and dragged it down, allowing it to strike her head.

Desotoroyah growled out, feeling the metal impact against her skull while the Attack Titan continued to spin the wheel. Each cart striking her with the same impact as before, causing their vision to become hazy and starting to black out.

It’ll only be for a moment, but she hated resorting to this, allowing herself to be much more vulnerable than before. Destoroyah’s entire body vanished in the blink of an eye, startling Peter as he let go of the wheel. He attempted to scan the area for their whereabouts, finding nothing but ruins in their fight.

The Attack Titan sighed, feeling an itch irritating his back. He went over to satisfy it only to find several objects latched onto it. The Titan grabbed a hold of one, eliciting a shriek of agony before pulling it in front of his eyes. To his shock, he saw he grabbed one of the Destoroyahs, spraying micro-oxygen at his face and hitting his fingers with their tendrils.

He screamed out, crushing them with his hand and letting its blood drip, not caring if it shredded his hand up. The Attack Titan attempted to swipe the invaders off his body, yet barely any scurried away. All of them focusing on bringing Peter down to size, ripping every piece of flesh they could get away with.

The Attack Titan scuttled around the park, causing it to rumble with each step as he bulldozed through several rides to get the critters off of him. His regeneration was reaching a limit, it couldn’t counter every Destoroyah latched onto his body. Peter’s body was left with no choice but to crumble to the ground, crashing his head into a gravitron.

The Destoroyah, once held in his captivity, scampered down his shoulders and to the controls of the machine. She snickered with delight, flipping the controls with their tendrils and watched the machine start up.

The gravitron spun rapidly, taking the Attack Titan with it, forcing him to go for a wild ride as his legs dangled just outside of it. Peter screamed within the nape, feeling his entire body becoming dizzy from the intense speed of the device. His Titan was incapable of doing so, but Peter vomited from the inside, disgusting himself greatly.

He had no time to react as he threw up another round from the ride hijacking his entire body. Peter breathed heavily, moving his Titan’s body very slowly by inching his left arm towards the contraption. His rival screamed out, spraying micro-oxygen at his fingers, slicing two of them off.

The Attack Titan did not relent, smashing the controls with his gigantic hand, allowing the ride to cease all function. Feeling a brief surge of energy, the Attack Titan got up and knew what had to be done. He glanced down at the Destoroyah, who awaited his next attack, smiling at her comrades still ripping into his flesh. Whatever move he was about to commence, it’ll amount to nothing.

Just as she predicated, nothing happened.

The Attack Titan stood motionless, allowing the other Perfect Lifeforms to still tear through his skin.

Peter barfed once again, feeling himself lose consciousness, causing his Titan body to fall over on its back, flattening several of the Destoroyah’s like a hydraulic press. Their screeches were brief, cut off by their lives ending in that moment with pools of blood seeping out from underneath the unresponsive goliath.

Despite his appearance, Destoroyah knew better when one of his gags didn’t end. She shrieked out to the high hells, recalling every other of her kind she could. They knew they couldn’t finish him off in this state and as much as it pained her to pause the carnage, ridding the world of the fat man will have to come first.

“Woah!” Both Stewie and Brian yelled out, recoiling with disgust over watching one of the Destoroyah shooting its jaw into the back of a woman’s neck as blood and popcorn gushed out of her open wound. Her hand filled with a bag of popcorn shook rapidly, allowing its contents to spill to the ground.

The Destoroyah, hearing its kin’s roar, turned around and raced towards them, leaving the remainder alone. Stewie and Brian set down their phones for just a moment, observing their behavior.

“Wonder where they’re going?” Brian asked.

“Who cares!?” Stewie exclaimed happily, reviewing the footage he captured. “This is going to give us content for hours!”

They looked at the ruins of the park, taking b-roll of the footage caused between the two goliaths when the infant spotted a familiar face. “Hey Brian, look! It’s Quagmire and he lost his penis!”

The two watched their perverted neighbor limping across the park, his hands covering the bleeding spot in his pants. He inched his way towards the exit, intending to reach the nearest hospital he could find as each step caused him tremendous amounts of pain.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” he moaned, shuffling over to his car.

“Ha!” Brian exclaimed, feeling satisfied to see the neighbor he despised in great anguish while he got to be safe and sound, making content with his best friend.

Peter slowly stirred himself awake, confused by his surroundings for a moment until remembering his predicament. The fat man breathed out, lifting his Titan’s head upward, taking note of the Destoroyah he took in and her remaining comrades slowly reforming into the Aggregate.

He still had a score to settle with the traitor.

The Attack Titan pressed his hands to the ground, his regeneration still slowly working its magic on him. He huffed at the amount of energy he was putting in just to pick himself up while the Destoroyah completed their transformation, presenting themselves as they were before; albeit slightly smaller.

“Think, Petah, think. What would Eren say in a time like this?” the Titan Shifter commanded himself, watching Destoroyah rush towards him, stretching her tendrils towards him.

“Fight. Fight.” Peter heard his voice cry out the same word over and over again, allowing himself to stand tall to face the oncoming threat. However, Eren’s angry and commanding voice was phased out in favor of voices belonging to three beautiful women. “Heels, nails, blade, mascara!”

Peter laughed at his own thought process, not being bothered how much his mind wanders every other second.

“Hehehehehe. I got into KPop Demon Hunters as well.”

The Attack Titan screamed out with Destoroyah matching him. The two of them collided into each other both knowing this fight could end at any given moment. They didn’t want the other to realize how bad of shape they were both in, fully acknowledging to themselves it was now or never and their most brutal of attacks must commence now.

Destoroyah slammed her tendrils into the Attack Titan’s shoulders, effectively halting his movements. She dragged his bloated body towards her, firing several rounds of her Oxygen Destroyer Beam. Each one, shredding three rolls of fat, blood and organs poured out of his body. The Attack Titan was starting to lose its functionality, its regeneration almost at its limit, but Peter pressed on, allowing himself to focus on a singular aspect of Destoroyah.

The Perfect Lifeform cackled, seeing the Attack Titan at its weakest, continuously pulling him towards him. Peter kept a close eye on her, biding his time to strike as she brought him face to face.

The Attack Titan was completely at her mercy and she enjoyed every second of it. Witnessing his fragile state, all she needed to was pierce through his neck and rip apart the fat man with her teeth. She cackled, feeling the satisfaction upon her, secretly hoping they could relive it forever.

Destoroyah launched her second set of jaws out towards the target.

CRACK!

The Perfect Lifeform paused, staring at her target only to find the Titan’s neck completely unscathed. Destoroyah then started to gag, realizing what had happened. Blood poured out of their mouth as she saw the Attack Titan smirking at her with her jaws in his hand.

Destoroyah let out a coughing fit, attempting to strike once again, but Peter’s Titan beat her to the punch. The Attack Titan let out a roar of defiance and shoved the severed jaw straight into her left eye, ripping it apart.

Using the bulk of his remaining strength, the Attack Titan ripped the tendrils off of their body, allowing them to hang from his very own. Peter’s Titan rushed over to the almost defenseless Destoroyah and kicked her down to the ground. He jumped up on her, striking them several times in the face, denting it with each punch, forcing her to choke up more blood.

Minutes seem to have gone by before the Attack Titan finally relented. Its host looked on at the results only to see Destoroyah barely clinging to life. Her face almost reduced to a puddle of flesh and blood. He continued to look on with anger, raising the Titan’s arms behind his back to strike her one last time when something shined in his eyes. Peter noticed the necklace still strapped to them, effectively forcing him to stall.

His mind flashed off all the memories he spent with them. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the good times he spent even now knowing it wasn’t Ebirah, but a Destoroyah. Peter looked back to her in sadness, realizing things could have gone down differently between the two. He felt regret not only for himself but for the way his friend acted.

Allowing himself to rise out of his Titan’s flesh, he showed himself to the barely alive Destoroyah. She glanced up and rolled her remaining eye, cursing at him, knowing he was going to torture her with one last gag or some half assed apology.

Peter’s eyes welled up with sadness, feeling grief overtake him by force. He gripped the flesh of his Titan, never taking his eyes off of the dying creature below him. “It didn’t have to be this way!”

His crying voice rang into her ears, already sending shivers down her spine. It was absolutely insufferable and she hoped death would overtake them now, so she didn’t have to hear his sobbing voice.

“If only you told me who you were to begin with! I could have been friends with you, Dessy!” Peter exclaimed, gripping the flesh of his Titan harder and harder.

‘That’s not even my name, you fat fuck!’ Destoroyah mentally blared out. Even in death, he couldn’t even grant her a few moments of peace as she then felt a dark presence floating right next to them. In the corner of her eyes, she saw thick fog cruising around them, completely unsure of what was going on while Peter was still in his crying state.

“I’ll let the world know……” Peter murmured, reaching into his pocket and putting his BFF necklace back on again, giving her a small smile. “You’re the queen of the 90s. No matter what some thirty year old says about your movie.”

Peter continued to give her a comforting smile in their final moments when he heard Lois’ wife call out to him.

“Petah! Flapjacks are here!”

“Ooh! Flapjacks!” Peter excitedly vocalized, ripping himself out of his Titan and running down its spine, leaving Destoroyah all alone.

The Perfect Lifeform’s vision nearly ceased only seeing the dark fog enveloping her. She felt an entity taking its hold onto them, a being she could not describe. In but a brief moment, Destoroyah’s eyes opened up. Her head jerked out in shock.

They were no longer in the amusement park, but in a place they could not recognize. Gone was the bright blue sky with clouds, but instead a dark night sky with a full moon out. She spotted a few structures ahead, taking the shapes of a massive storehouse, a large watchtower and an RV placed next to them.

Whatever this place was, it certainly intrigued them. She didn’t see any sign of the fat man, which was automatically a plus in her eyes. The crustacean mosied forward, intending to scout this unknown world out further. She inched herself between a couple rows of crates, reaching her exit when she felt something slam down on her.

Destoroyah shrieked out in agony, confused at what could have caused her great pain. The Perfect Lifeform glanced down at a red and blue pallet blocking her path while several people stood on the other side.

Feng patted her stomach repeatedly, as Yui teabagged and Dwight jumped into a locker, terrified of the new monster the Entity brought to them. Destoroyah shrieked out at the survivors, stretching her tendrils towards them when her eyes were shrouded by a bright light, turning their vision in a dark red with a bright light in the middle. A woman with white hair known as Sable flickered the flashlight on and off, keeping it pointed at the newcomer.

 

Chapter 10: A Griffin Resolution

Back at their newly rebuilt home, the Griffins sat in the living room, all of them smiling at the relaxing day they were having. Stewie and Brian were both looking at the former’s laptop, in the process of uploading their video on YouTube.

Stewie rubbed his hands together and smirked at the video going up. “Top Ten Destoroyah Kills a million views here we go!”

A notification appeared as Brian looked at the screen and read its message. “Video unavailable. This video is blocked because it contains an inappropriate title for children.”

“I’m a one year old, who gives a shit?” Stewie muttered, going back to the creator menu and sighing. “I didn’t want it to come to this, but here it goes.”

Stewie then typed up a new title in an attempt to bypass the situation. “Okay… Top Ten Destoroyah Unalives.”

The video took a second to upload, but the two content creators knew better as they gave it a few seconds. Nothing on being blocked for inappropriate content appeared, allowing them to breathe a sigh of relief.

BING!

A notification appeared with Stewie opening it up and Brian once again read the message. “This video contains content from Toho Co., Ltd, who has blocked it on copyright grounds.”

Stewie slammed his device shut, frowning at the outcome of their adventure. “This was a complete waste of time.

“Yep.”

Peter sighed, wrapping his arm around Lois, bringing her closer. “Another day, another dolla, huh babe?”

“Petah, you got just under two-thousand people killed in these past few weeks. It was not just another day,” Lois vocalized, concern washing over her as people could press charges against them at any given moment.

“One thousand, nine-hundred and ninety five exactly,” Peter corrected, flipping his finger towards her and smiling. “And besides this happens every week and I get away with it every time.”

Lois rubbed her hands together. “I suppose you’re right, but I’m at least glad that the Destoroyah situation is over with.

“I’m just glad I got my bed back,” Chris pointed out.

“Nope. She ripped it to shreds. You’re out of luck, pal,” Peter relayed, disappointing Chris as he still had to sleep on the floor. “I’m going to miss Destoroyah, even if it ended in bloodshed.”

“That’s great, Petah. Is your war over?” Lois muttered, completely ready to put this episode of events behind her. She had only hoped next week’s episode would be one focusing on her instead of something lame like Tokusatsu.

“It sure is, Lois. Though, Destoroyah did at least keep a change of pace around these parts.”

The matriarch smiled as an idea popped in her mind about what Peter said last. “Well, if you want a change of pace, you can always help me out with some chores.”

Peter removed his hold on his wife and yawned, stretching his arms outwards. “Can’t, babe. I got another podcast to do.”

Lois frowned, crossing her arms. “Don’t tell me it’s another session of Titan Truth podcast.”

“Oh no, Lois. It’s a different one and one far, far more famous.”

***

“Hello and welcome to the KWCC, I’m your host KaijuX!” the host of the show announced in a very cheerful voice, each other word almost having a distinct character to them, letting the audience they were in for a good time. “And today with me is…..”

“Alex!”

“Bacon!”

“Birdman!”

“GvR!”

“Harley!”

“Jo!”

“Mael!”

“Nagoda!”

“Soggy!”

“Soul!

“UltimateDitto!”

“And special guest… Peter Griffin!”

“Thank you, thank you. It’s an honor to be here,” Peter spoke, smiling at the screen.

“It’s good to see yah, min,” UltimateDitto spoke cooly, smiling at the icon of his friend he met a few months ago.

“Wait, aren’t you the guy who slept with my wife?” Peter inquired, rubbing his chin, staring at the suspicious’ man avatar being Mung Daal.

“Uh….. I don’t know?” Ditto murmured, quietly chuggling at his question.

“Oh, is that Ditto I hear?” Lois gushed, her voice being heard all the way from the basement to the living room.

“Shut it Lois!” Peter snapped, annoyed at his wife being attracted to someone.

“Hehehehehe,” Ditto continued to laugh at his misfortune.

“That’s enough goofballin’ around, fellas,” KaijuX laughed at their antics, getting the video back on track. “Today, we are covering matches four hundred and ninety-five to five hundred.”

“Ah sweet! My match is being covered!” Harley compassionately yelled out, absolutely excited about her match being covered once more in the KWCC.

Peter threw his headphones down for a minute, his eardrums nearly shattering at her bombastic voice. The fat man rubbed his ears, attempting to nurse them before requiping them and lowering the Discord volume for the committee member.

“Jesus Christ! Lower your voice!” Alex barked, each word fluctuating between deep and imposing to agitated in a higher pitch as if he was losing a game of Dance Dance Revolution.

“Oh boohoo! My voice isn’t that loud!” Harley countered, dismissing her fellow friend’s complaint.

“Shut the fuck up!” Alex yelled, but noticed his voice was joined by another. Looking at the green light circle around FatBaconUnicorn, identifying him as the accomplice.

There was a pause.

Both members then cheerfully spoke out. “BASED!”

“Oh yeah, KaijuX, are we still going over the Gransazers update?” a quieter voice asked, one belonging to their superfan, Nagoda.

Peter scratched his head, baffled by what was already going on. “Jeez, why is everyone’s volume so inconsistent?”

“It’s the KWCC, what did you expect?” GvR asked, sharing Peter’s disgust by what was already transpiring within two minutes of their reunion episode. He knew this was a bad idea as he pulled up his phone and searched plane ticket prices. It was the day he intended to kill KaijuX for deciding to bring this back.

“Guess that’s what happens when anyone can start a podcast,” Peter surmised, stretching back in his chair, waiting to hear more about the content they’re discussing.

“Big Shrimp,” a calm, yet insightful voice spoke, one belonging to Jo.

A laugh followed.

This time, the green light circled around Alex’s username. “Big Shrimp.”

“Big Shrimp,” Jo spoke once again, feeling pride in her voice at her trend starting once more.

Peter listened on to their conversation, finding excitement coursing through his body. It was the first thing that brought him joy in this podcast. He leaned forward and laughed. “Hehehehehe. Big Shrimp.”

“Oh my god! Shut up!” Bacon screamed out, slamming his hands against his face while GvR left the call and finalized the purchases on his phone.

“Gosh darn it!” KaijuX laughed, engaged by their repetition of two words, no longer prioritizing the podcast’s flow. He didn’t mind if this special lasted for four hours.

“Big Shrimp!” Jo giggled.

“Big Shrimp!” Alex said, chuckling at the words.

“Hehehehe…. Big Shrimp,” Peter laughed, taking a pause, feeling himself starting to get the appeal of this podcast and its wacky hijinks. “I like Jo.”

“Me too,” Alex relayed enthusiastically.

“Me three!” Soggy chimed in.

One by one everyone followed with a ‘Me too’ and expressed their admiration for a fellow committee member. It was then the leader, KaijuX, thought of something.”

“Match 500 is one for the ages, containin–” KaijuX attempted to relay only for a gunshot to be heard on his line, silencing him indefinitely.

Peter laughed at the gunshot and the host’s body creating an audible thud. “Hehehehehe. I’m going to love it here.”

Winner: Attack Titan (Universal)

Huge kudos to Lucas C. Gabet for the insane and wonderful artwork for today’s banner! Be sure to follow him on DeviantART and Facebook for more!