Some time ago I wrote up a review of The Legend of Godzilla: Godzilla Toilet Paper, because as with so many things related to Godzilla and kaiju, I figured if I didn’t do it, nobody would, and that would be a huge loss for humankind. Well, as it turns out, there was another Godzilla toilet paper from the same company (Benjoy) and released at the same time (2018)—Four Seasons of Godzilla toilet paper! Obviously, this stuff ALSO needs a full review, and baby, I am here for that today!

A note on the name: This Godzilla toilet paper is called “Shiki no Godzilla” (四季のゴジラ), which could be translated as “Four Seasons of Godzilla” or “Godzilla of the Four Seasons” or “Four Season’s Godzilla”, etc. I just translated it as “Four Seasons of Godzilla” because I liked the ring of it, and I think a lot of fans out there enjoy Godzilla year-round, so it sounded appropriate.

Obviously from the name, the product features Godzilla and his foes enjoying the four seasons. Japan experiences all four seasons in all their glory, and Japanese people have sometimes proudly reminded me of that fact. Anyone who has read my torturously long review of Godzilla Kun will know of some of the seasonally celebrated holidays and traditions, as that comic heavily focused its gags and scenarios on those aspects of culture. The packaging here reflects those themes, too, with the kanji for all four seasons posted on the product as well as symbols for each time of year (Sakura blossoms, fireworks, falling leaves, snow) and a host of monsters (Mothra, Godzilla, Destoroyah, King Ghidorah). My favorite is that we have a flying Godzilla (from Godzilla vs. Hedorah [1971]) on the packaging. The various kaiju that appear on the packaging, though, are designed in such a way as to appear similar to rubber stamped images, with simple silhouettes and a lack of detail. All of these monsters INCLUDING FLYING GODZILLA appear on the toilet paper, too. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS?

For the spring, Mothra and Battra fly above cherry blossom trees in bloom with the Mothra larva freaking STICKING OUT OF THE TREES. They are just hanging out in the trees, man, like any good caterpillars would! And the moth monsters flapping about, why did they choose them? Because so many bugs come out in their imago forms during the spring, dudes! How sweet is that?

Summer we get images of mountains, fireworks, huge waves ala the famous artist Hokusai, and Hedorah flying overhead with a big image of Godzilla (I think the original) emerging from the sea. While Japan doesn’t celebrate the Fourth of July, fireworks are still a big part of summer festivities in Japan, with massive fireworks festivals that are mega crowded every year and fill the sky with bursting sparks and smoke (maybe that’s why Hedorah is up there flying among the explosions, so he can eat the pollution) Summer is ALSO when Umi no Hi (or “Sea Day”) takes place, and of course lots of dudes and dudettes dig the waves in the summer sunshine, so natch we get the waves for the summer TP squares.

Flying Godzilla marks the transition to the autumn toilet paper squares, and the skies are filled with maple and gingko leaves, and we see the deciduous trees are bare, and Showa Mechagodzilla and King Ghidorah are hanging out. I am assuming the villains are emerging on the scene because fall is a little more dreary and dark, with things fading away, so baddies of COURSE represent a decline into bad times ahead. You all thought the same thing, too, right?

That theme is taken even further with winter; Destoroyah introduces the section, acting as a great metaphor for winter’s destructive properties. Mt. Fuji (with its snowy peak) dominates the background, we get snowflakes in the air, pine trees along the bottom, and SpaceGodzilla standing tall next to the “winter” kanji (as each seasonal section is labeled with a kanji)—a great choice, since his shoulders look like snowy mountains. I mean, maybe they could have had Godzilla bursting out of an iceberg, but I am very satisfied with these design decisions. A+ from me.

Four Seasons of Godzilla: Godzilla Toilet Paper Review

Like the Legend of Godzilla toilet paper, this stuff is two-ply as well, and it’s sturdy and a bit uncomfortable to use on my sensitive bum. Still, you should be decorating your walls with this brilliance, not wiping your booty with it.

This is god-tier Godzilla product, people. Brilliant execution, fantastic design, humor and thought and fun put together—and of course it isn’t comfortable enough to use on a regular basis, so you would only be tempted to buy a roll one time and that’s it. That’s how it should be, folks. You can use the toilet paper as decoration all year round if you’re that kind of unique person, too. Anyway, this is high art, and everyone should buy one roll so the world can be a better place and we can get more Godzilla toilet paper designs in the future. I want my Monsterverse Godzilla TP, right now!