Godzilla Valentine's Day: Godzilla Can
by Nicholas Driscoll
February 21st, 2018

Godzilla Valentine's Day: Godzilla CanPerhaps sporting one of the less appetizing names in the big pile of sweets that I purchased, the Godzilla Can (literally ゴジラ CAN from Hunter Confections or ハンター製菓株式会社 if you prefer) conjures up images of canned meat or maybe Godzilla on the can, or maybe even a self-actualization chant for the Big G when he is feeling down—not so much chocolates and romance. (Well, maybe Zoey from I Want to Marry Godzilla and Have His Children might fantasize about married life with Godzilla and walking in on him while he is on the john, but it's probably best not to go there.) While it is true that Godzilla is liable to kick lots of can, and Mechagodzilla might be called a Godzilla Can if you really stretch, the real Godzilla Can is actually a fairly impressive collection of chocolates that is just itching to be set up in delicious dioramas.

So what is the real Godzilla Can (not to be confused with the canned Godzilla meat from a few years back) looks a lot like a particularly fat can of breath mints (come to think of it, breath mints might make a more natural fit for Godzilla's image, given the monster's well known halitosis problem). The image on the top of the can looks to be the silhouette of the Heisei Godzilla, though his tail looks too thin to my eye, and his jaw in profile at first made me think of Final Wars Goji, as well as the now-familiar "Godzilla Chocolate" text and "Godzilla Can" running in a circle around the edge. The bottom half of the can sports a kind of glittery silver camo design, perfect for military incursions into, say, a chrome jungle in the middle of a glitter storm.

The actual chocolate, with the rosy red of romance behind.
If you squint at the packaging just right, you can also imagine it's a UFO come to steal Godzilla away to Planet X!

What about the chocolates themselves? Inside, there are two layers of chocolates (so to speak). The first layer is Godzilla, using the same mold as the Mini Godzilla chocolates, just without the colored back ridges. At first I thought the entire "Godzilla Can" was just these chocolate Godzillas, but you can remove the plastic container and a white cushiony thingee (I had trouble with this at first, but persevere my friends) to reveal more chocolates underneath—five dark chocolate tanks and five white chocolate jets (kinda look like F-16s). Neither the tanks nor the jets are anywhere near as detailed as the Godzillas, which is at it should be. They all taste good—the milk chocolate mini Godzillas are delicious, the dark chocolate tanks are slightly bitter and harder than the Godzillas (and I love that—tanks should be hard!), and the white chocolate jets are pretty decent white chocolate (I am usually not much of a fan).

Put these together with Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and some graham cracker skyscrapers, heat it over some nuclear fire, and you will have an amazing monster munchie!
Put these together with Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and some graham cracker skyscrapers, heat it over some nuclear fire, and you will have an amazing monster munchie!

Of course, having Godzillas, tanks, and jets, it is hard to resist putting them together and making dioramas, especially given that the Mini Godzillas box provides a red city background. I experimented a little with my choco war items and monsters and put together a very simple diorama, as seen below.

But as I was trying to extract the chocolates from the can, I realized something else that was very special about the design of the packaging—it can serve double as a monster-themed fidget spinner! The plastic packaging materials sit in the can loosely enough that they are remarkably easy to spin—both the Mini Godzillas and the military hardware! I took some brief video demonstrations below:

Just imagine this is Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971) and this represents Godzilla flying through the air.


The military is at a loss as to what to do to stop Godzilla! Okay, it doesn't work very well.


Anyway, the Godzilla Can set me back 1201 yen (weird price) and more than made up for it with the unexpected play possibilities. The chocolates themselves are fine, but add a little imagination and things really take off.

Godzilla Valentine's Day: Godzilla Can