Stuckey wrote:@Flawed- I wish I would have seen what you wrote before you edited it. Lame. Don't give up hope though. Gotta keep the chin up.
I saved my rant just in case I did decide to repost it later on. And because it is the truth and I am tired of apologizing for the truth, here it is: My Field Guide to the many she-beasts that I am only ever capable of attracting or finding on my own:
The only girls who contact me or that I find are what I like to call "she-beasts". There are many different species of she-beasts, but I'll just cover the major ones that at least acknowledge I exist.Trailer Park Cougar
: This is a very common type of she-beast that contacts me. Typically, they are at very least, 15 years older than I am with a drug/alcohol addiction and with multiple children. They wear wifebeaters and unique hair styles (shaved, mohawks, mullets, etc.)BIG Bad Bertha
: These are also extremely common. They are women who are at least double, if not triple my own size. I am not hardly someone with the physique of a Greek god myself and so I don't expect (nor really want) to meet a thin fit beauty queen. But I simply am not attracted to women who have rear ends as wide as I am tall. When I attempt to just befriend them, they try to go for more. I just want a "plain Jane" kind of girl. Not athletic. Not huge. Just "average". I'd be thrilled with that.Too Tattooed Tabithas
: I am not very attracted to girls with tattoos. A few are ok, but when girls have their entire arms, backs or legs tattooed, I am old fashioned and still consider that "trashy".
"You LOVE Children, I hope?
": No, I don't really. One kid, sure. Two, maybe. But it seems an unwritten law that any woman who shows interest in me (especially in person) MUST have no less than three children to her name: usually with different fathers and plenty of drama.Neutral Numbbutts
: Oh, these ones get on my nerves.
These are the ones who have countless things in common with me and they are usually attractive as well (you know, just to make it much worse when they show NO sign of life, interest or even curiousity). Yet, I must practically use a cattle prod to get any form of communication out of them. They don't talk unless I start. They don't ask me questions on their own. They don't care if they never hear from me. They don't get excited about anything. Whether I talk to them once a day or once a year, they won't lose a single minute of sleep over it. Yet, when I ask them if they are still interested in talking, they say "Don't be an idiot, I still talk to you, don't I?
". Yes hun, you do...but once every 8 months just isn't working for me. Bi-polar Hellcats
: These are the girls who are super sweet one day and then total bitches the next. They go off without warning. Usually, it's because they display characteristics of "Neutral Numbbutts" when they show that they don't care one bit if they go MONTHS without speaking to me, calling/writing back or hanging out and so I call them out on it and ask why. That's when I face their wrath.
"We have so much in common....yuck!
": This is basically a spin off of "Neutral Numbbutts" (see above). I just don't understand this particular breed of she-beast. These are the only ones I inevitably find and try to contact on my own but the more hobbies/interests I seem to have in common with them, the even LESS
interested they are in talking. They just aren't impressed. Ever.Pressure Pushers
: These are the girls who pressure me into deciding whether I want to start a family with them mere WEEKS after first meeting them. They are usually attractive and have at least two children and thus are in a rush to find a father figure for their children.
"I need a hott jerk kinda guy who will let me be stupid but then bail me out of trouble when I inevitably find it" girls
: Enough said.
"Thanks for the advice, now bye until next time I need you to help my asshole boyfriend get laid while you forever remain alone
": These are the girls who don't have a thing to do with me unless their boyfriends screw them over. They come to me asking for my advice, then I give it to them because I am a good listener. Then she goes back to her dumbass boyfriend and gives him all the benefits, and ignores/forgets me until the next time she needs advice when he makes her mad.Bathless Betty
: These are the she-beasts who look/smell as if they bathe once a week at most.
"Oopps! Silly me, I forgot to include the last words in my requirements list for a man
": These are the girls who act repulsed by me when I try to introduce myself, since I foolishly believe her when she says "All I want is to find a nice, caring guy
." and so I figure I meet those standards. Unfortunately, too often the case, I always discover (after getting no reply or seeing my message deleted) that what they REALLY
meant to say is "All I want is to find a nice, caring guy who is smoking hott party guy with tan, muscular tattooed arms and cocky personality, yet by some miracle will NOT be so stuck on himself due to him already knowing that he doesn't need to value any girl he currently has because he knows if he loses one girl, there will be 10,000 more eagerly waiting in line to take her place anyways!
"Sex Starved Starlets
: These are girls who don't think I will mind that they want to sleep around with multiple guys (or their ex) while I am still in the process of trying to get to know her. I am extremely shy and they have zero patience in waiting for me to warm up to them. If I am not bedding them in a week, they search elsewhere.Librarian Liars
: I get TONS of these. These are "girls" who claim they are 25 - 30 but look every bit as old as 45 (or older). They look like they should be librarians or teachers, but the scary, old looking kind with double/triple chins and short, frazzled hair with magnifying glass eye glasses.
"I'm not ready for a relationship, or least not until a hunk contacts me
": I am a pro for finding these girls to. They are the ones who are ok being friends but tell me that they aren't ready for a relationship yet....so I grant their requests and back off, all the while another schmuck can be allowed to work his magic on her and she lets him right in the front door with none of the restrictions I had. And worse still, once prince charming does make it in her door, I never hear from her again.
"My ex loved that band...so you must be evil to
": These are the girls who decide not to give me a chance, just because I like the same band/movie/show/book that their ex liked.
I guess that is enough for now. Needless to say, I can NEVER EVER find the type of girl I am looking for who will talk or show the slightest hint of interest in getting to know me. And the only ones who do show interest in me are the ones I have zero in common with, zero attraction to or zero understanding for. And they are only online. Around here, if you don't party and get drunk/get high, don't adore children nor deficate $100 bills every morning, then you don't find a girl...it's just that simple. I can't get decent girls to notice me when I go places, only online. And they are all frightening looking, act like they have to paid to even pretend
that they are interested (these are the ones I usually find on my own) or have severe attitude issues. Every time I see I got mail from a girl, I can literally hear both God and Satan snickering together because I already know ahead of time that she will inevitably be one of the above. It's been an ongoing curse for several years now and never changes. Because I went to a tiny village school, I had no opportunities to meet a good girl in school. And after graduation, all my friends from school moved away as well, so I have no one to go places with. It's extremely hard to walk up to a group of girls when you are all alone and know NOTHING about them ahead of time or wondering if their psycho boyfriend is just in the bathroom.
Anyways, it will take a Godsent miracle to end the curse I have, to where I can be allowed to meet an Ohio girl who is truly different than I mentioned and yet actually interested enough to give me a shot. I can't pull false confidence out of my ass though after every girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl after girl that I am really interested in or wanting to get to know will not even give me a shred of hope to hold on to or work with. All the while I'm being continiously bombarded by interested she-beasts that I am the LEAST interested in myself that, for some reason, I seem to be a magnet for. I do at least make sure any girl I contact has stuff in common with me first. The she-beasts that contact me don't even do that.
Within Temptation, Flaw, The Panic Division, Tool, Lacuna Coil, Breaking Benjamin, Red, Lunatica, Katatonia, A Perfect Circle, Evanescence, Bush, Silverchair ('94-'01), Goo Goo Dolls, Linkin Park, Metallica, Delain, Leaves' Eyes, etc.