Okay, here's part 2. I don't think I put in as much effort, but I think it's as good as the first one.
I’m a Toho…and I’m a Daiei ep. 2
We open on a white background, this time with Rodan and Gamera standing in front of it.
Rodan: Hi, I’m a Toho…
Gamera: …and I’m a Daiei. Hey! I guess Mothra just couldn’t handle…the
Gamera! (He claps his hands around his crotch area)
Rodan: You…you tell yourself that.
Gamera: Okay, so I get stuck with you? Shouldn’t be much of a challenge, people don’t respect you.
Rodan: Um…what? I’m considered to be one of the greatest monsters ever to come out of Japan. I’m the dark, brooding anti-hero that everyone loves to adore!
Gamera: Yeah, you’re ‘dark and brooding.’ But you’re still just a giant Pterodactyl! People have seen that before! They want something new, something fresh, something that sparks their imagination and leads to millions of great video games!
Rodan: …and you gave them…a turtle?
Gamera: Ah! But a turtle that not only flies, but breathes fire!
Rodan: You know—
Gamera: Did I mention I also eat fire? Yeah, just ingest and swallow it right down. It comes out a little rough, but that’s a price worth paying for something that bad-ass!
Rodan (annoyed): I shot fire too.
Gamera: Shah, only in one movie. And the fans bitched about it!
Rodan: But it was also in video games, the 4D ride, the toy show, numerous other forms of media…did you ever even have a video game?
Gamera: Oh yeah, tons! Some were only released in Japan, some were released on Toho Kingdom…(A subtitle appears that says Plug!)
Rodan: I mean real games. Like, tournament fighters. Or hell, even side-scrollers.
Gamera: Well no, I never got some kind of half-assed deal with Nintendo or Konami…but listen, back off now, or I’ll bring up Godzilla 2 on the old Nintendo.
Rodan: Point taken. But the fact is that barely anybody knows who you are! You only had three good movies in the nineties, and nobody but the ol’ homegrown saw ‘em! Way to market yourself, jackass!
Gamera: Hey! If I’d gotten some kind of remake deal, you might have seen a lot of this! (He appraises his body with arms) But I’m glad I didn’t! Go back to your lizard king and tell him that G.I.N.O exists, but that Ga.I.N.O. is a long way off!
Rodan considers his spelling for a moment: That’s would be…Gay-no? Yeah, when they mess you up stateside, the fanboys’ll have a field day with that one.
Gamera looks at him for moment: Oh hardy har har! Listen, I’ve got someone here I want you to meet. I think you’ll hit it off.
Gamera walks off camera for a moment, before introducing Gyaos to the screen.
Gyaos: Hi, I’m Gyaos!
Focus on Rodan, who’s examining the new arrival: Oh yeah. Totally original. No rip-off there.
Fade to black, Rodan: There’s no way that could be interpreted as ANYONE else.
Before it can be filmed, drawn, acted or programed, it must be written.