I'm a Toho...and I'm a Daiei

[SoleMan]

Is anyone here familiar with the popular internet "I'm a Marvel and I'm a DC?" If you are, It's probably crossed your mind that it would be amusing to pit two our favorite rivals against each other like that.

Derivitive? You bet your ass! But I've never seen anything like this, but I think it would be cute if somebody found one, or even made one, just for us fans.

If anyone's intrested, I'd be willing to write some scripts...

[King Caesar]

This is the fan fiction section, so go ahead and do your own. I'm sure we'd all love to see some new techniques by a new member.

*shudders* I just read my post in a clichè teacher's voice...

[Gojira21]

@KC wow man,...just wow lol

@Soleman go for it dude! I would actually be curious to see it

[SoleMan]

I would love to put some up on Youtube...but I don't have the proper toys. I could just post some scripts, if you don't mind...

[King Caesar]

Post them on here. Unless you want it to be in YouTube. You could do both if you really wanted.

[SoleMan]

Okay, here's a script for it. This is little more than a draft, and I'm not real proud of it, but here goes:

I’m a Toho…and I’m a Daiei episode 1

We open on a white background, with Mothra and Gamera standing in front, in that order.

Mothra: Hi, I’m a Toho…

Gamera: …and I’m a Daiei—Hey, wait, where’s the big G? What’s going on here?

Mothra: Yeah, Godzilla said he didn’t want to bother with you, said that you
weren’t “worth his time” so he sent me instead.

Gamera stares at her for a moment, before muttering: Man, that’s cold.

Mothra: Well, I’m still the second most popular monster in Japan.

Gamera: Yeah…but you’re Mothra! No one respects you! The only people who like you are little girls that annoy their parents to the edge of sanity! At least my fan base has decency! I’m the freakin’ Guardian of the universe!

Mothra: Guardian of the Universe my fluffy ass! What did you ever guard? Earth? Wow, that’s some universe!

Gamera holds her gaze for a moment, before replying: I bet Godzilla likes that fluffy ass of yours…

Mothra: That’s what you got out of that? Gerr…

Gamera: At least I’ve got a nickname. And not some dopey American-Cash in, like “the thing.”

Mothra: Yeah…but I heard you had another nickname…y’know, something a little more ‘friendly’

Gamera glares at her: Don’t make me say it…

Mothra: What’s that? Big bad tuwtle get scared?

Gamera: No, it’s just…

Mothra: SAY IT!

Gamera: I’m…the friend of all children, okay?

Mothra: Yep. A tough name like that, you could’ve totally taken Goji back in the day. He might’ve been King, but you were barney on steroids. You
might’ve been able to prevent the banckruptcy of your whole company.

Gamera: Hey! Not cool!

Mothra: It is cool. You just don’t realize it yet. Survivor guilt and all.

Gamera: You’re right…But I still appeared in way more movies that you ever did!

Mothra: That’s…that’s not right.

Gamera: Well…I didn’t appear as mostly stock footage!

Mothra: Your movies disagree with that.

Gamera: You…I…At least I didn’t have two annoying fairies that followed me around.

Mothra is coldly silent for a moment.


Gamera: What? I hit a nerve?

Mothra: Don’t talk about my fairies.

Gamera: Well, I am talking about them! They suck, and you know it!
Wide shot of both of them, staring at each other, before fading to black, sounds of a scuffle emerging while the following dialogue runs:

Mothra: Why you little…!

Gamera: Whaddya gonna do? Sing me to death?

[King Caesar]

Cute (in a humorous way), and well-thought out. I could picture the two kaiju going at it, bashing each other with insults. It was hilarious, and I'd love to see what else you could do... *cough* Moguera & Zigra lol Or whatever you think of next works.

[Godzilla1703]

Lol this is funny

[Gojira21]

That was interesting to say the least lol Defiently had funny moments to it, keep it uP!

[SoleMan]

Okay, here's part 2. I don't think I put in as much effort, but I think it's as good as the first one.

I’m a Toho…and I’m a Daiei ep. 2

We open on a white background, this time with Rodan and Gamera standing in front of it.

Rodan: Hi, I’m a Toho…

Gamera: …and I’m a Daiei. Hey! I guess Mothra just couldn’t handle…the

Gamera! (He claps his hands around his crotch area)

Rodan: You…you tell yourself that.

Gamera: Okay, so I get stuck with you? Shouldn’t be much of a challenge, people don’t respect you.

Rodan: Um…what? I’m considered to be one of the greatest monsters ever to come out of Japan. I’m the dark, brooding anti-hero that everyone loves to adore!

Gamera: Yeah, you’re ‘dark and brooding.’ But you’re still just a giant Pterodactyl! People have seen that before! They want something new, something fresh, something that sparks their imagination and leads to millions of great video games!

Rodan: …and you gave them…a turtle?

Gamera: Ah! But a turtle that not only flies, but breathes fire!

Rodan: You know—

Gamera: Did I mention I also eat fire? Yeah, just ingest and swallow it right down. It comes out a little rough, but that’s a price worth paying for something that bad-ass!

Rodan (annoyed): I shot fire too.

Gamera: Shah, only in one movie. And the fans bitched about it!

Rodan: But it was also in video games, the 4D ride, the toy show, numerous other forms of media…did you ever even have a video game?

Gamera: Oh yeah, tons! Some were only released in Japan, some were released on Toho Kingdom…(A subtitle appears that says Plug!)

Rodan: I mean real games. Like, tournament fighters. Or hell, even side-scrollers.

Gamera: Well no, I never got some kind of half-assed deal with Nintendo or Konami…but listen, back off now, or I’ll bring up Godzilla 2 on the old Nintendo.

Rodan: Point taken. But the fact is that barely anybody knows who you are! You only had three good movies in the nineties, and nobody but the ol’ homegrown saw ‘em! Way to market yourself, jackass!

Gamera: Hey! If I’d gotten some kind of remake deal, you might have seen a lot of this! (He appraises his body with arms) But I’m glad I didn’t! Go back to your lizard king and tell him that G.I.N.O exists, but that Ga.I.N.O. is a long way off!

Rodan considers his spelling for a moment: That’s would be…Gay-no? Yeah, when they mess you up stateside, the fanboys’ll have a field day with that one.

Gamera looks at him for moment: Oh hardy har har! Listen, I’ve got someone here I want you to meet. I think you’ll hit it off.
Gamera walks off camera for a moment, before introducing Gyaos to the screen.

Gyaos: Hi, I’m Gyaos!

Focus on Rodan, who’s examining the new arrival: Oh yeah. Totally original. No rip-off there.

Fade to black, Rodan: There’s no way that could be interpreted as ANYONE else.

[Gojira21]

NIce i like this one a lot actually, lol i like the arguments

[King Caesar]

First one was better! The first is always better!

[SoleMan]

I’m a Toho…and I’m a Daiei ep. 3

We open on a white background, this time with King Ghidorah standing in front of it.

Ghidorah: Hi, I’m a Toho…

Gyaos leans his head out from the side of the screen, trembling: And…I’m…a Daiei…

Ghidorah: Will you come out of there? I may be the King of Terror, but It’s not like I’m gonna rip your head off or anything.

Gyaos(Shyly): You…you promise?

Ghidorah: Yes! Now come out so we can do this and I can get back to my Jacuzzi.

Gyaos walks into frame, sizing up his sizable opponent. Gyoas: So…three heads hun? Which one am I talking to anyway?

Ghidorah(In a guttural voice): We are legion. We speak as one.

Gyaos(wide-eyed): Really?

Ghidorah: No, not really you little wuss! Now go get me a taco!

Gyaos: What? Why?

Ghidorah: Because tacos rule! Now get to it!

Gyaos: Hey, I almost cut off Gamera’s arm with my beam, I don’t want to have to mess you up

Ghidorah: Oh, I’m so scared! You almost chopped your hero’s arm off! That’s tough man! Is that what you want to be remembered for? Almost doing something? Listen punk, I completely destroyed the civilization on Mars! They never stood a chance!

Gyaos:…I thought you destroyed Ve—

Ghidorah: And Venus too! I got two planets under my belt, with all the dinosaurs on Earth to boot! Think about it: They tried to banish your enemy to a place I created! What’chu got on that?

Gyoas: Well, I guess I’ve got nothing…other than the fact that you brought up Rebirth of Mothra.
Ghidorah: Rebirth of Mothra 3.

Gyaos: So? That movie alone was worse than anything I was in. Amazing it never ended up on Mystery Theater, it sure as Hell deserved it. I can’t believe you would even agree to something like that!

Ghidorah: Well, they tricked me, and…

Gyaos: Oh, what’s the matter? Mean ol’ Rodan rip-off get you down?

Ghidorah: At least I was never a repainted prop…that got ripped to shreds.
Gyaos: No, you were never repainted…You just had all the life sucked out of you. Nothing more than a stiff puppet, who’s last movie was mainly a “best of” show.

Ghidorah: Are you talking to me about Stock footage? ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? You don’t have a chopped off leg to stand on. Does the year “1980” mean anything to you?

Gyaos: Bring it bitch! I came back in one of the greatest Kaiju movies ever made! And again in what is considered a Japanese work of art! And was heavily referenced in a movie that nobody saw but was good anyway!

Ghidorah: …I was in the Godzilla movie that stole your movie’s director.

Gyaos: Oh yeah? Well…ugh…y’see…
Ghidorah: I thought as much. (To stage crew) Can I go home now? If I don't, it might get electrical in here?

Gyaos stares at Ghidorah.

Ghidorah: What?

Fade to black, Gyoas: Nothing, that's...that's an awesome catch phrase.

[SoleMan]

Hey guys, There's a couple more I want to do, but I'm gonna be out of town for a little while, I'll get back to you soon.

[Gojira21]

I like the new addition especially this phrase :Ghidorah: No, not really you little wuss! Now go get me a taco!

That was pretty funny lol good job man, keep it up!

[SoleMan]

I’m a Toho and I’m a Daiei ep. 4

We open on a white background, with MechaGodzilla and Gamera standing there.

Mechagodzilla(Mechanical voice) Hi, I’m a Toho…

Gamera: and I’m a Daiei. Well, it seems they’ve brought out the big guns, haven’t they? Literally. Looks you’re overcompensating for something.

Mechagodzilla: What? I have perfectly formed genitalia. I can provide you with a viewing, if you so desire.

Gamera:…Ugh…no thanks…

Mechagodzilla: Your loss.

Gamera: Really, I’ve seen enough of you…especially with the rainbow eyes.

Mechagodzilla: You dislike rainbow weapons? Or would you just prefer they come from my back?

Gamera: Oh come on, you know you liked Barugon. Yeah the Rainbows were a little wussified but…they can be scary.

Mechagodzilla: Sorry, I have too many balls of steel for that.

Gamera: Balls of steel? Really? I thought you were made out of space Titanium anyway.

Mechagodzilla: Space Titanium is cool, unlike ripping off Star Destroyers.

Gamera: What? Dude, come on now…

A sound effect issues from Mechagodzilla, who responds: My scanners indicate that it’s confirmed: You suck.

Gamera: Oh, you’re quick. Any more video game references to steal?

Mechagodzilla: Blow it out your ass.

Gamera: Nice. Real nice.

Mechagodzilla points to his body with his hands: Admit it, you envy this rockin’ bod.

Gamera: I don’t…I really don’t…

Mechagodzilla: Metal is in right now, shell is out. Thought to be fair, you’ve never been a ‘hero in a half shell.’

Gamera: Dude, that’s just stupid. Frickin’ Ninja Turtles, stealing all my chicks…April O’Neil was my fiancé man! We were in love!

Mechagodzilla: What happened? Tell me about it.

Gamera: Well, I hadn’t been in a movie in a while…not to mention Big G had already cranked out two…We just…just kind of parted ways, y’know? She said it wasn’t me, but I can’t help feeling that maybe…If I’d tried just a little harder…

Mechagodzilla: In the bedroom?

Gamera: No! Just…made the relationship work, y’know? I feel like I gave up on her, and gave up on myself too. But, I think I’m back on my feet enough now. Though I doubt that she’d ever take me back.

Mechagodzilla: Yep, that’s why people like Godzilla more than you.

Fade to black, with Gamera saying: What, dude, that’s…that’s just wrong.

[Godzilla1703]

I loled

[Kaiju-King42]

Ohh. I like this!

Baragon and Barugon, Baragon and Barugon, Baragon and Barugon...

[King Caesar]

Ohh. I like this!

Baragon and Barugon, Baragon and Barugon, Baragon and Barugon...

There we go...

I liked it. MG was totally owning though. Lol

[Rody]

These are pretty humorous, but I don't like how crass they are, especially Mothra. She should sound more civil.