The Godzilla Cringe Thread

[edgaguirus]

It's just not Christmas until you see Minya heads pasted onto singers.

[LSD Jellyfish]

Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Mothra’s sacrifice and the final Godzilla/Ghidorah battle
King of the Monsters is a gloriously dumb movie filled with gloriously dumb humans doing things you really shouldn’t care about between the things you should care about: giant monsters smashing the bejesus out of each other. There’s a lot of that in the film, but the absolute best of it is saved for the climactic battle in Boston. After Millie Bobbie Brown’s Madison summons all the film’s Kaiju to the evacuated city with her mother’s Kaiju-call device (for...reasons), Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, and Ghidorah go into battle with each other in a doubles scrap for the ages.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-12-best-and ... 1840349157

Ugh. Not really cringey, but I think this sort of exemplifies why I dislike the reactions some fans have to KOTM. "Human characters in Godzilla films are pointless and criticizing them is meaningless!".

[eabaker]

Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Mothra’s sacrifice and the final Godzilla/Ghidorah battle
King of the Monsters is a gloriously dumb movie filled with gloriously dumb humans doing things you really shouldn’t care about between the things you should care about: giant monsters smashing the bejesus out of each other. There’s a lot of that in the film, but the absolute best of it is saved for the climactic battle in Boston. After Millie Bobbie Brown’s Madison summons all the film’s Kaiju to the evacuated city with her mother’s Kaiju-call device (for...reasons), Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, and Ghidorah go into battle with each other in a doubles scrap for the ages.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-12-best-and ... 1840349157

Ugh. Not really cringey, but I think this sort of exemplifies why I dislike the reactions some fans have to KOTM. "Human characters in Godzilla films are pointless and criticizing them is meaningless!".

Wow. Flat out saying you "should really care about" the human scenes? That's some ignorant, condescending bullshit right there.

[Smuggers]

Just consume big lizard product

[edgaguirus]

A movie that was all kaiju pounding on each other might have some fans, but we need humans for moving the story along and having something we can relate to. It's much easier to relate to a person than a 200 foot tall dinosaur, insect, or whatever.

[HedorahIsBestGirl]

Some cringeworthy stuff from the movies that I'm not sure has been brought up on here yet (and no, I haven't read all 174 fucking pages).
-The American actors in practically every Toho film, with the exception of Nick Adams; I know individual examples have been brought up, but good God, they almost all suck, especially the American soldiers in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah and everyone in Battle in Outer Space
-The aerial shot of an unmoving Godzilla that looks like a toy in Godzilla Raids Again
-The fake ass models of the Rodan couple used for their death scene (which, unfortunately, add unintended humor to what should have been a somber finale)
-The Mysterians' outfits; they're just too damn garish
-A lot of stuff from King Kong vs. Godzilla, including:
--The fake looking doll in Kong's hand that is horribly out of scale
--The claymation models used for the shot where Godzilla kicks Kong
--The puppets of the monsters that fight over the treeline in that one shot
--The rubber lizard that way too many people call a kaiju
--All of the scenes of the American reporter in the English dub, especially the infamous "walnut brain" scene
-Malmess catching the obviously fake boulder and then obviously jumping to his death in Ghidorah
-The giant serpent from King Kong Escapes that looks like a rubber noodle
-Daiyo throwing cartoon fruit into Minilla's mouth
-A few things from Destroy All Monsters:
--Dr. Otani's suicide jump and scream
--The "special police" who come out of nowhere and aim worse than Stormtroopers
--The six hour scene of the SY3 crew lasering the monster control device
--The Fire Dragon and its entire pointless role in the movie
-The animated bats in Latitude Zero
-Ichiro trying to imitate Minilla's roar in Godzilla's Revenge
-Minilla's Barney-like voice in the English dub of Revenge
-Katsura's fake breasts during the operation in Terror of Mechagodzilla
-Titanosaurus biting Godzilla's lip and then kicking him into the air in TOMG
-The animated birds in Godzilla 1985
-The Saradian and all of his dialogue in Godzilla vs. Biollante
-I know it's already been mentioned in this thread, but "Take that you dinosaur" is the worst delivered line in any Godzilla movie ever
-Oh God, the Rebirth of Mothra trilogy...
--All of the CGI effects
--Toy Fairy Mothra
--All of the child actors
--Ghogo's design and the fact that it heals people with urine
--The scene where the kid gets thrown across the chasm in ROM2
--Actually, every minutes of ROM2 when Dagahra is not onscreen
--The dinosaurs in ROM3
-The design of the UFO in Godzilla 2000; it looks like a chrome bicycle seat
-"You're all gonna die!" from the English dub of GMK
-The entire fake-deep plot of City on the Edge of Battle; if I ever watch that movie again I'm gonna drink every time they say "nanometal"
-King Ghidorah's appearance in The Planet Eater
-The "grizzly situation" scene in King of the Monsters
-The character of Sam Coleman and his horrible "gonorrhea" line
There's a shit ton of stuff from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, Tristarzilla and Final Wars, but I think it's all been brought up in this thread.

[goji89]

You sure you got all of it......?

Check, maybe you missed some stuff.

[Spuro]

Some cringeworthy stuff from the movies that I'm not sure has been brought up on here yet (and no, I haven't read all 174 skreeonking pages).
-The American actors in practically every Toho film, with the exception of Nick Adams; I know individual examples have been brought up, but good God, they almost all suck, especially the American soldiers in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah and everyone in Battle in Outer Space

What are your thoughts on Steve Martin in KotM and G85?

[HedorahIsBestGirl]

What are your thoughts on Steve Martin in KotM and G85?

I'm glad you asked, because I have different thoughts on the American versions of the two films, and his role within them. I enjoy "Godzilla, King of the Monsters" and Raymond Burr's performance as Martin is a big part of way. I think inserting an English-speaking character into the narrative was a clever and ambitious way to adapt a foreign language film, instead of a standard English dub job. While the film is inferior to "Gojira", it's the version that I grew up with and one of the few English dubs that I still watch from time to time; generally, I prefer the original Japanese versions.

In "Godzilla 1985", however, Steve Martin feels totally shoehorned in and serves no real purpose. To be honest, I do think it's cool that Burr reprised his role thirty years later, and it creates a nice continuity between the two films. However, while Martin was reworked as the main character in KotM, he's a rather pointless side character in 1985 and I wish he'd been utilized more effectively. I wouldn't call his role in the latter film bad, and I certainly wouldn't call it 'cringe', but he didn't really add anything to the movie.

My problem with most American actors in Toho films is that they're terrible actors. Raymond Burr is actually a good actor, like Nick Adams.

[eabaker]

What are your thoughts on Steve Martin in KotM and G85?

I'm glad you asked, because I have different thoughts on the American versions of the two films, and his role within them. I enjoy "Godzilla, King of the Monsters" and Raymond Burr's performance as Martin is a big part of way. I think inserting an English-speaking character into the narrative was a clever and ambitious way to adapt a foreign language film, instead of a standard English dub job. While the film is inferior to "Gojira", it's the version that I grew up with and one of the few English dubs that I still watch from time to time; generally, I prefer the original Japanese versions.

In "Godzilla 1985", however, Steve Martin feels totally shoehorned in and serves no real purpose. To be honest, I do think it's cool that Burr reprised his role thirty years later, and it creates a nice continuity between the two films. However, while Martin was reworked as the main character in KotM, he's a rather pointless side character in 1985 and I wish he'd been utilized more effectively. I wouldn't call his role in the latter film bad, and I certainly wouldn't call it 'cringe', but he didn't really add anything to the movie.

Summed up nicely.

I grew up with the American versions of both movies. While I still can get very involved in the American additions to KotM, the only American-added aspects of 1985 that I hold any special affection for are the final voice over from Burr and the opening credits sequence. Those credits are gorgeous, and were absolutely stunning on the big screen. I was only 6 years old at the time, but I still remember sitting in the theater watching them.

In every other respect, the American additions are tacked on and pointless.

[Tyrant_Lizard_King]

But remember if Burr wasn't in 1985 it would have been turned into a screwball comedy. He almost single handedly convinced New World to take the film seriously.

[eabaker]

But remember if Burr wasn't in 1985 it would have been turned into a screwball comedy. He almost single handedly convinced New World to take the film seriously.

Nobody's criticizing Burr personally for his involvement. Yeah, he saved the movie from what would have been a much, much worse Americanization. That doesn't mean that the added scenes, as they exist, actually contribute anything of significance. They're just not the worst case scenario.

[Spuro]

But remember if Burr wasn't in 1985 it would have been turned into a screwball comedy. He almost single handedly convinced New World to take the film seriously.

I'll always respect the guy for that.

I'm not the kind of person who gets interested in celebrity culture, but he's one the few actors I'd love to meet. A pity he was before my time.

[LSD Jellyfish]

The 1985 adaptation of G1984 is still really bad to me, whether or not it could have been worse. Taking a movie that was a pretty legitimate Anti-Cold War film, and turning it into almost a Pro-United States propaganda film is one of the most baffling things to me.

[Tyrant_Lizard_King]

Eh it's a product of its time.

[eabaker]

The 1985 adaptation of G1984 is still really bad to me, whether or not it could have been worse. Taking a movie that was a pretty legitimate Anti-Cold War film, and turning it into almost a Pro-United States propaganda film is one of the most baffling things to me.

I find it frustrating, but in Regan-era America, I hardly find it surprising.

[LSD Jellyfish]

Some cringeworthy stuff from the movies that I'm not sure has been brought up on here yet (and no, I haven't read all 174 skreeonking pages).

I agree with some of your points here. I think it's important to note the bad SFX the Godzilla series had, because they make the better stuff stand out way more. The doll in KKVG always bothered me a lot.

In defense of ROM3, oddly the film and it's effects look way better on a big screen. I saw ROM3 in a theater recently and parts that looked really fake, such as the Shojibin on fairy mothra above Japan looks really good.

Added in 1 minute 4 seconds:

Eh it's a product of its time.

Yeah, I suppose it does have value in that regard. I'm just pointing out that it's one of the most inaccurate American adaptations of Godzilla for literally butchering the message in the original film.

[eabaker]

In defense of ROM3, oddly the film and it's effects look way better on a big screen. I saw ROM3 in a theater recently and parts that looked really fake, such as the Shojibin on fairy mothra above Japan looks really good.

I saw it on the big screen back around 1999, and I remember the dinosaurs looking especially bad. Not much else about that viewing really stands out for me.

[LSD Jellyfish]

In defense of ROM3, oddly the film and it's effects look way better on a big screen. I saw ROM3 in a theater recently and parts that looked really fake, such as the Shojibin on fairy mothra above Japan looks really good.

I saw it on the big screen back around 1999, and I remember the dinosaurs looking especially bad. Not much else about that viewing really stands out for me.

Oh yeah the dinosaurs are horrid. They look worse than a lot of earlier puppets.

However, a lot of the colors and stuff in the film "popped" way more for me. Ghidorah's footsteps and the angles of the shots made him much more intimidating. May just me being hyped in the moment.

[Tamura]

The 1985 adaptation of G1984 is still really bad to me, whether or not it could have been worse. Taking a movie that was a pretty legitimate Anti-Cold War film, and turning it into almost a Pro-United States propaganda film is one of the most baffling things to me.

I find it frustrating, but in Regan-era America, I hardly find it surprising.

It's no Red Dawn... could have been a lot worse. If we want to talk about literal US and military recruitment propaganda, produced with the assistance of the military in exchange for script changes, let's talk about the Captain America movies and similar productions.