What ruined your day?

[eabaker]

But seriously how did you not see this coming

Gross.

[Gigantis]

With these deviants you never know

But seriously how did you not see this coming

Again,i avoided it (somehow) for the past four years straight,so it's almost kinda shocking that it happened to me now.

[BlankAccount]

With these deviants you never know

I see what you did there.

[Smuggers]

Seriously I can't believe how accurate of a name "DeviantArt" ended up being.

[Gerdzerl]

This isn't something that's occurred specifically today, but more so off-and-on.

This might be just a side effect of my childhood abandonment trauma and my depression, but I've been worrying that I've been pushing away and boring all of my friends for a while now, that they're not really all that interested in talking to me anymore and that our interactions aren't really meaningful on their end. I feel like I'm out-of-touch with them, but I don't even know where to start with working on that, and I'm not sure if they would even be interested in any sort of efforts to strengthen our friendships. I feel stupid, like I'm oblivious to what should be plainly obvious as to what's wrong, but I feel so overwhelmed that it's hard to find the motivation to try to fix anything.

Honestly, I still feel a lot of overwhelming anxiety about talking to the people I care about. I desperately wish I could provide something legitimately fulfilling and enriching to their lives. It keeps me up at night. I wish I knew what to do.

[LSD Jellyfish]

This isn't something that's occurred specifically today, but more so off-and-on.

This might be just a side effect of my childhood abandonment trauma and my depression, but I've been worrying that I've been pushing away and boring all of my friends for a while now, that they're not really all that interested in talking to me anymore and that our interactions aren't really meaningful on their end. I feel like I'm out-of-touch with them, but I don't even know where to start with working on that, and I'm not sure if they would even be interested in any sort of efforts to strengthen our friendships. I feel stupid, like I'm oblivious to what should be plainly obvious as to what's wrong, but I feel so overwhelmed that it's hard to find the motivation to try to fix anything.

I've found as I've gotten older, while there's still friends from 6 or so years ago I love and adore, and can easily reconnect with, some people I find it a chore to try to interact with or maintain a relationship with. It's not anyone's fault, yours or theirs, it just sort of happens. People change. Sometime's it's natural. Sometimes it's not.

[Gerdzerl]

Adding on to what I said in my previous post: Honestly, I still feel a lot of overwhelming anxiety about talking to the people I care about. I desperately wish I could provide something legitimately fulfilling and enriching to their lives. It keeps me up at night. I wish I knew what to do.

And whenever I ask about it, they usually tell me that nothing's wrong or that I don't have to worry or whatever. It's nice to hear and I appreciate the fact that they took the time to respond, but I want to know how to make things consistently and regularly fulfilling and meaningful for them in the long-term. Right now, I just feel like I'm kinda sorta being "ignored", which makes me feel like shit and I start to internally panic that I'm being selfish and needy and that's the last fucking thing I want to do.

Maybe my needs/wants/etc. just aren't that compatible/sustainable with the folks I hang around, I dunno. I feel like I'm pretty much unknowingly guilt-tripping people into caring about me. I don't know how I should I interact with my loved ones because I feel like, one way or another, I'm oblivious to how they truly are/what they're really interested in/what they're doing at the moment, etc. Everytime I think I have a decent grasp on that, I get proven wrong, and it makes me feel uncomfortable with being around folks.

What am I even doing with my life? Am I just pissing people off and they're afraid of hurting my feelings or something? Or are they just way busier than they used to be and I just have too much free time on my hands?

However, I don't want to force or guilt trip anyone into constantly responding to my venting, though, that'd be fucking horrible and toxic and manipulative.

[Ultraman02]

Today made me realize that people always hide something from others and someones real intentions are always hidden on the internet (as we all have semi-anonymity). Frankly, I'm starting to believe that I can't trust people in any community anymore.
I also begin to fear "change" these past few days. I get that people change all the time but sometimes it's not for the better. They get influenced and radicalized by people that they don't even know personally.
I fear that one day one of these online people will change my friends, family or even me.

I get so worked up over this that I can't sleep at all.
Basically, this entire week has been hell for me.

[goji89]

Adding on to what I said in my previous post: Honestly, I still feel a lot of overwhelming anxiety about talking to the people I care about. I desperately wish I could provide something legitimately fulfilling and enriching to their lives. It keeps me up at night. I wish I knew what to do.

And whenever I ask about it, they usually tell me that nothing's wrong or that I don't have to worry or whatever. It's nice to hear and I appreciate the fact that they took the time to respond, but I want to know how to make things consistently and regularly fulfilling and meaningful for them in the long-term. Right now, I just feel like I'm kinda sorta being "ignored", which makes me feel like poop and I start to internally panic that I'm being selfish and needy and that's the last skreeonking thing I want to do.

Maybe my needs/wants/etc. just aren't that compatible/sustainable with the folks I hang around, I dunno. I feel like I'm pretty much unknowingly guilt-tripping people into caring about me. I don't know how I should I interact with my loved ones because I feel like, one way or another, I'm oblivious to how they truly are/what they're really interested in/what they're doing at the moment, etc. Everytime I think I have a decent grasp on that, I get proven wrong, and it makes me feel uncomfortable with being around folks.

What am I even doing with my life? Am I just pissing people off and they're afraid of hurting my feelings or something? Or are they just way busier than they used to be and I just have too much free time on my hands?

You want to be needed that is all...... No shame in that. Don't try too hard to carry a conversation because sometimes no words are needed you put too much preassure on yourself and forcing anxiety onto yourself.

Also *sorry for saying this*

Woman the Hell up. Make meaningful things for yourself as well. Have you ever thought of yourself without putting yourself down?

[Gerdzerl]

Also *sorry for saying this*

Woman the Hell up. Make meaningful things for yourself as well. Have you ever thought of yourself without putting yourself down?

Nah, don't worry about it. It's alright. I appreciate your honesty.

And I have done that, yeah, but it's just hard for me to stay on track and do that consistently. I need to work on that.

[eabaker]

This isn't something that's occurred specifically today, but more so off-and-on.

This might be just a side effect of my childhood abandonment trauma and my depression, but I've been worrying that I've been pushing away and boring all of my friends for a while now, that they're not really all that interested in talking to me anymore and that our interactions aren't really meaningful on their end. I feel like I'm out-of-touch with them, but I don't even know where to start with working on that, and I'm not sure if they would even be interested in any sort of efforts to strengthen our friendships. I feel stupid, like I'm oblivious to what should be plainly obvious as to what's wrong, but I feel so overwhelmed that it's hard to find the motivation to try to fix anything.

Honestly, I still feel a lot of overwhelming anxiety about talking to the people I care about. I desperately wish I could provide something legitimately fulfilling and enriching to their lives. It keeps me up at night. I wish I knew what to do.

Obviously in this and your subsequent post, you bring up a lot of different facets of this struggle, and it's hard to comment on a lot of it without really knowing you/the people around you/your history together.

But I did notice you talk about feeling like you bore people, and you allude to not knowing what's really going on in their heads and in their lives. There have been times that I struggled with this, too (assuming we're really talking about the same thing, which can be difficult to gauge; individual experience is so darned individual, after all). One thing I've really worked on is spending less time making statements and raising topics, and more time asking questions, and follow-up questions.

[Orichalcum]

Idk what the hell I done but I managed to forget EVERYTHING, my email address, my password, everything. I ended up rendering my TK account inactive after putting in the wrong password in a couple dozen times, tried the whole *I forgot my password* route and now it says there’s no accounts linked to my email

Can’t do much because Arbok’s out of town so I went ahead and made a whole new account just because I missed you guys so much.

[eabaker]

Idk what the hell I done but I managed to forget EVERYTHING, my email address, my password, everything. I ended up rendering my TK account inactive after putting in the wrong password in a couple dozen times, tried the whole *I forgot my password* route and now it says there’s no accounts linked to my email

Can’t do much because Arbok’s out of town so I went ahead and made a whole new account just because I missed you guys so much.

Who were you before?

[Orichalcum]

Formerly known as Stump Feet.

[UltramanGoji]

I was wondering why you were talking in the Bandai thread about having mentioned buying the Gigan vinyl "a few weeks ago" when you've only been here for two days.

[Orichalcum]

I was wondering why you were talking in the Bandai thread about having mentioned buying the Gigan vinyl "a few weeks ago" when you've only been here for two days.

Yeah that didn’t register as weird until after I posted it actually

[goji89]

Formerly known as Stump Feet.

Who?

[Orichalcum]

Formerly known as Stump Feet.

Who?

Your replacement on this forum

[Maritonic]

Formerly known as Stump Feet.

Who?

Your replacement on this forum

That is easily the funniest thing I've read in a long, long time. Thank you for that.

[goji89]

Formerly known as Stump Feet.

Who?

Your replacement on this forum

Well, you got pretty small shoes to fill.