Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub (The Return)

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Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub (The Return)

Post by Kubo »

This is a small tribute to one of the greatest shows of all time, Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you like this series, I demand you see the source of inspiration.

Keep circulating the fics.

SEASONS 1 & 2 THREAD
Initiate Episode Catalog

SEASON 3 THREAD
Initiate Episode Catalog

Crew:

Tom C. Servo: The villain straight out of TohoKingdom Forum Adventures, or at least his parallel universe self. He worked under Dr. Goodlover for years, but was the unfortunate guinea pig in the doctor's space program. Despite the predicament, he is even-tempered and ready to tackle any story sent his way.
- Favorite Color: Navy Blue
Portrayed By: Kubo

Kiryu: An alien from Venus, Kiryu has worked with the riff crew in the past (Sesason 1, Episodes 3 & 4). However, he was captured by the Aliens in outer space and now is forced against his will to return to the study and review more terrible fan fiction.
- Favorite Seasoning: Salt
Portrayed By: Kiryu2012

The Trashman: A senile old man who is obsessed with collecting and bathing in trash. He was captured by the Aliens in their invasion of Earth. His mindset remains just the same as before though: collect more trash. Occasional outbursts of heroic antics lead to speculation that he may've been a superhero in his younger days, but it's impossible to say.
- Favorite Actor: Randy Quaid
Portrayed By: GodzillavsJason

The Mystic One: They claim to possess supernatural abilities, but over time it becomes increasingly clear that they're delusional. Despite this, the Mystic One is a determined soul, and refuses to be broken by Dr. Goodlover's experiments.
- Favorite Sport: Bowling
Portrayed By: shippersdreamer

H.A.Y.E.S.: One of the two robots on board the Satellite of Hate. Unlike his tamer counterpart, H.A.Y.E.S. is rambunctious and mischievous. He'd be the kind of guy to slip a Whoopie Cushion under your sitting rear-end.
- Favorite Fish: The Blobfish
Portrayed By: HayesAJones

Guest Stars

Tohogei: Tom's #1 fan. Tohogei, despite having the appearance of an alien, comes from Tucson, Arizona. His mother, a iron factory worker, carries the genes that make him look...freaky. They're highly dominant genes. Sometimes gets mistaken for his mother.
Portrayed By: toho_guy01

Dracula: The descendant of the original Dracula, this horror icon dwells in the darkness of DEEP SPACE!! His visit to the Satellite of Hate is a mere pit stop in his journey across the Milky Way.
Portrayed By: Alucard

Former Crew

Warren (The True Capitalist Dinosaur): A respectable and high-class riffin' machine, Warren is the yin to H.A.Y.E.S's yang. Warren does not always enjoy his friend's shenanigans, but the two are almost inseparable.
- Favorite State: Texas
Portrayed By: UltramanGoji

Minerva: She is the most hot-headed and temperamental member of the riff team, but her expertise in understanding bad fiction is almost unrivaled. It helps that she has lived well over a thousand years (perks of being a demon). Minerva views the rest of the team as childish underlings.
- Favorite Pizza Topping: Death
Portrayed By: Giratina93

Secondary Characters
Dr. Goodlover: A scientist and former employer of Tom Servo. Goodlover's efforts to find the worst stories to subject Tom and his friends to continues, but under the Alien banner. This new subordinate position is not ideal, but to Goodlover it's better than the alternative the Alien's provide: death.

Bob (Internet's Bob): Dr. Goodlover's Bostonian underlying. Basically Igor minus the hump. Whiny and insensitive, Bob revels in the suffering of others and seemingly fails to comprehend the situation he and his boss are caught up in.

Chancellor Pearl: The silent and enigmatic leader of the Aliens. Pearl does not speak to anyone she considers unworthy of her time. Her plans for domination extend beyond Earth, and she sees Dr. Goodlover's work as the perfect tool to control the entire galaxy.

Elvis the Alien: The stern Alien guard who is tasked with escorting the test subjects to and from the study. He's an amateur photographer when not on duty.

Season 1: Episode Listing
All cut scenes in season one were written by Kubo.

Legolas & Laura: Arguably the worst offender in the MFR3K catalog, this story follows Orlando Bloom falling in love with a human a tenth his age at least! The Dark Lord ain't got nothing on that creepiness.

Garfield's Royal Rescue: The royal wedding was a big deal. Naturally, Garfield reacts, but in a way no one could have expected. The MFR Crew have their hands full with this fic.

Soulless Shell [Part 1]: An alien arrives on the Satellite of Hate to riff alongside the crew. Prepare yourself for the story of Leif, the most questionable young mouse you've ever met.
Guest Star: Kiryu2012

Soulless Shell [Part 2]: Shenanigans continue as Leif earns his Crimson King title. The MFR crew is having none of it, however.
Guest Star: Kiryu2012

The Day The Clown Came To Town: A late night invitation from Bob, Dr. Goodlover's pesky assistant, leads H.A.Y.E.S. and Tom Servo into a terribad story of Batman and his true love...the night.

Terror of Raptoris: A birthday party onboard the Satellite of Hate can only mean one thing: an extra bad story with some lazy night guards.
Guest Stars: toho_guy01, Alucard
Bonus: Roast of Giratina93
Spoiler:
Giratina93 wrote:HELLO, EVERYONE! It's your favorite riffer, Giratina in the flesh! Now, I know the roast was supposed to be a while back, and I deeply apologise for not having time to deal with it. Everything just got in the way, and it slipped from my mind... but now, let us answer these submitted questions!

1. How old were you when you wrote this?

Well, I was around 14 years of age when I wrote the lovely Raptoris story everyone ripped apart. I was just getting into actual writing, but the idea for it had been floating around in my brain for years. Lets just say I should have gotten some more experience under my belt before trying what you read.

2. Why did you think it was a good idea?

Because I was young and naive at the time. When you are just becoming a teenager, there are no such things as bad ideas, only good ones. And I.. had a really bad mental filter in regards as to what worked, and what didn't. No idea how to characterize people or have a consistent pace and setting... just, nothing but words strung together in a meaningless way.

3. I hate Gary-Stu's. Did you continue to write fanfics about them after this one?

Thankfully, no. I grew out of making such blatantly bad characters, though I moved into a realm just as bad... that of the self insert, which I am afraid to admit lasted until just a few years ago. I know better now... but those early years of writing are a nightmare to look back upon.

4. Can you nod your head so it looks like you're actually answering a question about the fanfiction?

*Nods at a diagonal angle.*

5. Why did you choose a dinosaur as a protagonist?

I like dinosaurs. kids like dinosaurs. Who doesn't like dinosaurs? And at that point... well, I liked nothing more than Dinosaurs. GINO sorta scared me off giant monsters until a few years later due to horrible childhood memories, so I stuck with dinosaurs in most of my very early works... and had no idea what "copyright" meant. Believe me when I say, nothing was out of my reach, and I used whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.


6. Hey, hey, hey... can you spell, "museum" now or not?

Yes, yes I can now.

7. In fact, how long after this story did you learn how to spell in general?

Let's just say my spelling was rather lackluster back then. it took me getting auto correct on one of my previous computers for me to learn how to spell without constant typos that I would mess up all the time... so about a year

8.What kind of accident could give a pair of raptors from Skull Island that many superpowers? A liquid plotanium spill?

I am afraid that would be it. The story made absolutely no sense whatsoever... though the raptors were experimented on and given said powers by mad scientists, so eh.I wasn't very keen on making a logical plot so many years ago.

9. Would you be interesting in co-patenting digital E-woks? I'm not sure what they'll be yet, but anythings with "E" in front of the name tends to be popular. I mean, just about everybody uses e-mail, right? Maybe animated e-cards of Fozzie Bear that you can send to your friends after telling a bad joke? "Woka woka woka woka." Eh. It's a work in process, we'll hammer out the details later. I WANT FULL ENTITLEMENT RIGHTS THOUGH, DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO SCREW ME ON THIS.

Now, that does sound like quite the interesting idea, to be fair. A money making scheme on patenting digital E-woks... I'd just have to sneak it past Lucas himself to get that plan off the floor... but at the moment, I see no real reason why I'd do it other than making money, and I'd rather write than do digital E-woks.

10. Okay! Now for something -gasp- serious! If you could rewrite this story, how would you do it? Heh, see? I disarmed you with all the silliness and now you're probably gobsmacked. Bwahaha! Being slightly unprepared for a question... THE ULTIMATE HUMILIATION!

If I could re-write this story... I would do everything in my power to actually make it be logical, and not a dozen worthless cameos and nonsense an hour. This isn't the Random Power Hour, I'm alot better than this now. The characters of Raptoris and Trinity actually have some potential to them that I could make useful in the future... perhaps for a future project, but for now, they are merely relics of a far worst time for me.
Season 2: Episode Listing
All cut scenes in season two written by Kubo except where noted.

Without A Clue: A detective's eye wouldn't dare look at the newest story in Goodlover's series of experiments, but the MFR crew aren't your everyday detectives. In fact, they aren't even detectives. They're just...they're just average peeps. On a satellite in space.

PostMortem: Things heat up in this homo-erotic thriller, while Tom and H.A.Y.E.S. are delivered some very bad news from the big balding baddy himself.

Cut Episodes -- these files from the Satellite of Hate were corrupted in the crash. There are no traces of the episodes in the system, but their log information is still intact.
Spoiler:
Spawn & Spiderman Team Up: [No Info]

A Wife's Revenge: [No Info]

Goddess of Peace: [No Info]

Cutie Mark: [No Info]

Season 3: Episode Listing

Cupcakes: After being captured by the Aliens, Tom and his fellow prisoners are subjected to a My Little Pony fan-fiction that truly rattles them to their collective core. This story previously was slated for the finale of Season 2.

Halloween Madness: H.A.Y.E.S. is reunited with Tom and the new MFR3k crew as they tackle an R-rated Sonic fan-fiction on empty stomachs.

What if Batman was Dilophosaurus man?: Batman is only one of many characters whose reputations are tarnished in this wild story served up by the diabolical Dr. Goodlover. Has the MFR3k team met their match?

Murder Suicide: A motivational speech is exactly what's needed to get through a terrible Regular Show fan fiction. However, Chancellor Pearl has a new weapon she's more than eager to test out on Goodlover's subjects...

Experiment X: Dr. Cadaver has taken control of Goodlover's experiments and is hellbent on breaking Tom and his friends for good with a story that has such notoriety that it has its own Wikipedia page. Is this the end for the MFR3k crew?!

Experiment X [Part 2]: [???]
Last edited by Kubo on Sat Aug 04, 2018 3:25 pm, edited 33 times in total.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by HayesAJones »

Kubo wrote:Please go out and buy the official miniatures of all your favorite characters
That's right, folks... get your very own H.A.Y.E.S. figurine today!

Put on it your nightstand so that it can gaze over you with endless lust and madness while you sleep!

Give it to your child so they never face another moment without a cold, harsh little voice in the back of their puny, underdeveloped brains urging them to do crimes!

Give it to your significant other (or others, if that is how you chose to roll, no judgement here) so they can see what true attractiveness is and dump your sorry, acme-dotted ass on the spot!

THE OFFICIAL MFR3K H.A.Y.E.S. MINIATURE! THE END-ALL BE-ALL TO ALL YOUR PATHETIC WORLDLY PROBLEMS! GET YOURS TODAY, FACELESS MASS OF FILTHY, SOBBING SCUM-BUCKETS!

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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Giratina93 »

Your greatest riffer returns... and I got a real piece of work to send everyone via PM. Prepare yourselves, it's godawful and short...
Come read my latest Fanfiction: Daily Life at the Cheshire Cafe

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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by MoarCrossovers »

MY SIDES ARE GOING DOWN AND LEAVING NO SURVIVORS!
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Kubo »

UltramanGoji has resigned from the main cast and subsequently, I am seeking out a fourth riffer to work on the upcoming season. The only thing I ask is that you are committed to the project and are able to work on each of the episodes.

If worst comes to worst, I will retire Warren to the Gypsy spot in the MFR3K crew.

To elaborate on the application process, a sixth and final episode in the first season will be sent to all applicants. Whoever has the best according to the three current riffers shall get into the main crew. Most all riffs shall appear on the final draft of the episode.

This is assuming we have more than one applicant. And that we're assuming we even have applicants.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Alucard »

What exactly are you supposed to riff on, mate? This don't sound like any kind of movie I've ever heard of.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Kubo »

^ It's of extremely bad fan fictions across the Internet in a good-hearted homage to a great tv series. For the application, you would receive one of those stories.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Alucard »

Do I need to do an introduction or do I just start tearing into the fan fiction?
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Kubo »

Just start. I ain't holding you back once I send the story to you.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Alucard »

Hit me, I'm ready.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Giratina93 »

Rif has been submitted. Let the party commence.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by toho_guy01 »

So how do all of you do these?
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Kubo »

toho_guy01 wrote:So how do all of you do these?
If you take a look at the episodes, you'll see the formatting for the riffs. If you wanted to apply as a riffer, you can ask me for the story, and you riff it in the same manner as seen on the episodes.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by GodzillavsJason »

I do like to see this show continue, but I don't think I would have the time and commitment to help work on this if you're trying to do this on a weekly basis. However; I might be willing to be a guest riffer every so often.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by toho_guy01 »

Kubo wrote:
toho_guy01 wrote:So how do all of you do these?
If you take a look at the episodes, you'll see the formatting for the riffs. If you wanted to apply as a riffer, you can ask me for the story, and you riff it in the same manner as seen on the episodes.
I would love to! Only problem is that I usually can't make very good jokes. I can try though.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Kubo »

Sure, I'll send the story your way by the end of the night.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by Alucard »

toho_guy01 wrote: I would love to! Only problem is that I usually can't make very good jokes. I can try though.
A challenger!
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by toho_guy01 »

Alucard wrote:
toho_guy01 wrote: I would love to! Only problem is that I usually can't make very good jokes. I can try though.
A challenger!
Stop being so dramatic. I'll probably not stand a chance to you. Don't know.

Anyway, Kubo, HIT ME!
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by UltramanGoji »

Eagerly awaiting what follows. I loved this series and am glad to see it returning.
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Re: Mystery Fiction Readers 3000 Hub

Post by gigan72 »

I read the few I could find here and loved them. I can't wait for more.
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