Stuckey's "How to get the girl"

[yaburu]

Haha, sorry about that. Once I get on a roll though, it's hard to stop. It's something that has deeply frustrated me for several years now and I had to release some of it.

It's all good dude, I just think of a good joke sometimes, and feel like posting it...that and I like to see my avatar.

Seriously though, my whole philosophy on women that I've developed over the course of my life can be boiled down to one simple word: confidence. Confidence in one's self, to be specific. Once you're happy with you are, truly and honestly happy with the human being you have become, women will become much more interested in you. Think of it like this; if YOU don't think you're a hot commodity, how can you expect anyone else to?

The reason women always go for the "jerks" is because generally, they're more confident then the nice guys of the world. Ever wonder why a woman keeps going after the guy that treats her like dirt while you continue to pine for her?

Because the jerk doesn't need her, and he knows it. He's self-reliant enough to simply not care if she pursues him or not. The nice guy? She knows she's got him on lock-down. She could snap her fingers, and he'll drop whatever he's doing to be with her.

Where's the fun in that?

She wants the jerk because the jerk is a challenge. He's emotionally closed, she has to work like the damned blazes to get him to open up. And when he finally opens up after 2 1/2 hours of prodding and tells her his age, she feels like she's accomplished something.

The nice guy comes pre-assembled right out of the box, ready to go. No fuss, no muss...no fun. Yes, as weird as this shit sounds, women enjoy the challenge of the jerk.

So, the immediate solution to this...is to become a jerk. Next time she asks you for a favor...don't give her one, unless it has some kind of benefit for you. Is she fishing for compliments? Ignore her. She's hot enough to start bar fights, and yet she laments about all the negative aspects of her looks. Well, next time she does this...agree with her! Just to get her attention. Then let her know how annoying it is to listen to her drivel on and on about how ugly she thinks she is when so many guys want to bang her.

Quick addendum to this: If the woman in question has already cast you into that firey pit of despair known as the Friend Zone...don't bother with the jerk stuff. At least not full on. I still suggest not doing favors unless they benefit you. Really that's something you should apply to everyone in your life outside your closest friends and family. And this jerk thing is for getting pussy. If you want a real relationship with a woman, a lasting one, it's best to wait until you're truly happy with yourself before you go looking for love.

So, that's my take.

[Fairy Mothra]

No offenses to females on the board, but the only solution I can come up with is this: Women are b*tches. Especially the ones that show no interest in you no matter how sweet and/or interesting and cool you are. Thats the bottom line. That or i'm very unlucky.

just because a girl doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her doesn't mean she's a bitch. and this is something I think a few of you guys need to understand. girls usually have a relatively specific idea about what they want in a guy, and if you aren't it, you aren't it. if she doesn't want to date you, that's her decision and you have to respect it. now if she's jerked you around for weeks/months/years before telling you straight up she doesn't want you that way, then that's a different story. but it doesn't mean a girl's a bitch just because she doesn't show interest in you even though you're 'sweet'.

It's all good dude, I just think of a good joke sometimes, and feel like posting it...that and I like to see my avatar.

Seriously though, my whole philosophy on women that I've developed over the course of my life can be boiled down to one simple word: confidence. Confidence in one's self, to be specific. Once you're happy with you are, truly and honestly happy with the human being you have become, women will become much more interested in you. Think of it like this; if YOU don't think you're a hot commodity, how can you expect anyone else to?

this. many people can probably tell you from experience (me being one) that it's really difficult to get into or keep a relationship unless you're happy with yourself. once you've dealt with whatever issues you might have, things get easier and just come naturally. even if you get into a relationship, if you're really unhappy with yourself it's probably doomed to failure. your partner can only do so much, you have to make yourself happy.

I've got to say though Yab (I'm calling you that now.) that I can tell you that not all girls like jerks. I don't. I've always dated very nice guys and my current boyfriend is about the nicest guy you could ever meet and we've been together for almost 2 years. I know a lot of girls do go for jerks, though, and I think that comes from the girl being unhappy and not confident about herself. I also think that part of it has got to do with being in the 'in' crowd or whatever, since it's usually the more popular or cool guys that treat girls like dirt. it's hard to explain and I know it's out there so I'm not going to deny it, I just want to say that we're not all like that.

[G1 Startruck Jonez]

No offenses to females on the board, but the only solution I can come up with is this: Women are b*tches. Especially the ones that show no interest in you no matter how sweet and/or interesting and cool you are. Thats the bottom line. That or i'm very unlucky.

just because a girl doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her doesn't mean she's a bitch. and this is something I think a few of you guys need to understand. girls usually have a relatively specific idea about what they want in a guy, and if you aren't it, you aren't it. if she doesn't want to date you, that's her decision and you have to respect it. now if she's jerked you around for weeks/months/years before telling you straight up she doesn't want you that way, then that's a different story. but it doesn't mean a girl's a bitch just because she doesn't show interest in you even though you're 'sweet'.

Exactly. Which is why I posted this:

You see, I have a problem with this and I know I shouldnt, but come on dude. Spewing things like "I already know what to do with the lady situation," then saying "No offenses to females on the board, but the only solution I can come up with is this: Women are b*tches. Especially the ones that show no interest in you no matter how sweet and/or interesting and cool you are. Thats the bottom line. That or i'm very unlucky" is an oxymoron to me. It shows you dont know what to do with the lady situation, or you wouldnt apologize and call women bitches. You wouldnt be crying about how sweet and or interesting and cool you are, but no women show interest in you.
If you know what to do, take the pacifier out of your mouth, pull up your pants, and go get you some!
For real.

But, whatever right? Cause some guys "already know what to do".

[yaburu]

I've got to say though Yab (I'm calling you that now.) that I can tell you that not all girls like jerks. I don't. I've always dated very nice guys and my current boyfriend is about the nicest guy you could ever meet and we've been together for almost 2 years. I know a lot of girls do go for jerks, though, and I think that comes from the girl being unhappy and not confident about herself. I also think that part of it has got to do with being in the 'in' crowd or whatever, since it's usually the more popular or cool guys that treat girls like dirt. it's hard to explain and I know it's out there so I'm not going to deny it, I just want to say that we're not all like that.

Yeah, I should have tempered that statement with "Women who don't have their head together like jerks" or something to that effect.

And feel free to call me whatever you want. I rarely get called Yaburu. More often then not a variation of some kind. Yab, Yabs, Yabby, Yabbeh, Yabba-Dabba-Doo (hate that one). Take your pick.

[JVM]

@Stuckey: You're probably right XD I was also in a bit of a tired and low mood when posting that.

I don't have a specific 'thought' on girls right now. I'm confident yet cynical on the matter. My standards may be a bit high on the personality side though but I will say if I get a particularly strong personality, looks'll matter a lot less. The girl I was most all-around attracted to I probably would have had no interest in if I hadn't known her personality already, since it matched mine fairly well.

I'm somewhat confident - although it's been years since a girl's shown an interest in me, at least that I've noticed, I know on at least two occasions (three if you count a creepy fifth grade dude when I was in second grade) I was found attractive, although this was a while back.

[KaneLocke]

"My ex loved that band...so you must be evil to": These are the girls who decide not to give me a chance, just because I like the same band/movie/book that their ex liked.

REAL people who actually want a relationship with you will look beyond that. For instance, my fiance's ex was obsessed with Johnny Cash. Now, I happen to be a closet Cash fan, and like listening to the songs from time-to-time. REAL people will not be bothered by minor similarities unless they've had some bad experience with that ex.

Basically, it's communication and compromise. Of course, this is all depending on the fact that the person was TRULY interested in you before the "similar tastes=EVAL!" reaction, or just fishin'.

Really, I've stuck by this philosophy that got me a beautiful, devoted, caring, intelligent woman in my life. If it's meant to be, it will happen. And I don't buy into any of the bitchin' and moanin' about how people think they're gonna die virgins. I was in the same boat 3 years ago (not the virgin part, but figuring I'd die alone, etc...). Woke up one day, walked into training for my job, walked out with the woman who changed my life. Let life take its course. If you feel it's too slow, throw yourself out there. There are dating sites left-and-right (not just e-harmony and shit, Facebook is a HELL of a dating site). Dive in. Learn what works and what doesn't.

For those people who say they're too shy, well, that leaves two choices. A: Be patient and wait for the person to come along who will change your life or B: Get over it. May also have to when you get to A because, somewhere along the line, you've gotta take a chance.

And this is the best dating advice I've ever heard: DO NOT BE AFRAID OF REJECTION. Chances are, if that person rejects you, that's not a person you truly wanted to date. Unless you're into egotistical bastards and such.

Take chances, guys. Even if you're shy. You never know what could come of it. Some will be successful and some will fail. That's a mathematical law. But considering many people are the forum are between 13-18, seems like good life experience for ya. Just don't fall in love with the first one that say, "Yes." I'll tell ya a horror story that'll guarantee you never sleep again if you do.

[Fairy Mothra]

^^ very eloquently put Kane. I actually agree with every single thing you said there :p

[Gorosaurus Rex]

Ok. Here is a personal question.

There is a girl, who is several years younger then me, who I've begun to look upon as a close friend. I talk to her alot, and care alot about her. However, lately she has been dropping a lot've less then subtle hints that her feelings towards me have grown to a more romantic level. I am hesitant on how to deal with this. I have been playing dumb, and have managed to skirt around the subject for almsot two weeks but I dont want to seem like Im playing with her feelings. I dont find her unattractive. In fact, I think she's pretty cute, and I get along well with her. However, she has a very dark and complicated past that I would rather not delve into. Also, I feel that if I were to enter into a relationship with her I would not be able to reciprocate the feelings she has towards me.

There is also another girl, who I actually do have feelings for. Like the previous, we have been good friends for quiet some times and we have both helped each other through numerous hard times. However, lately circumstances have changed and she has hinted at taking things to another level. I am certainly interested, but am not completely positive on how to go about this situation. I feel that if I were to open myself up to her and express how I feel we would not be able to have the trusting friendship we have held for so long if her feelings are not reciprocated. And if they are, how do I go about this situation without hurting the friend I mentioned earlier?

I am sorry if that was hard to follow. I essentially gave the really abridged version of both stories.

Thanks

GR

[Drunken Kong]

There is a girl, who is several years younger then me, who I've begun to look upon as a close friend. I talk to her alot, and care alot about her. However, lately she has been dropping a lot've less then subtle hints that her feelings towards me have grown to a more romantic level. I am hesitant on how to deal with this. I have been playing dumb, and have managed to skirt around the subject for almsot two weeks but I dont want to seem like Im playing with her feelings. I dont find her unattractive. In fact, I think she's pretty cute, and I get along well with her. However, she has a very dark and complicated past that I would rather not delve into. Also, I feel that if I were to enter into a relationship with her I would not be able to reciprocate the feelings she has towards me.

There is also another girl, who I actually do have feelings for. Like the previous, we have been good friends for quiet some times and we have both helped each other through numerous hard times. However, lately circumstances have changed and she has hinted at taking things to another level. I am certainly interested, but am not completely positive on how to go about this situation. I feel that if I were to open myself up to her and express how I feel we would not be able to have the trusting friendship we have held for so long if her feelings are not reciprocated. And if they are, how do I go about this situation without hurting the friend I mentioned earlier?

Just be straight up on both of them. With the first girl you're gonna have to break her heart a bit, but the sooner you do it the better. Just let her know that you just want to continue being friends and that you've noticed her hints here and there. She may just deny it, but whatever, at least she knows then.

For the second girl, just bring it to her simple. Don't profess your deep love or anything. Just tell her you've been friends for some time and ask her if she'd be interested in being more than that. If she accepts, then great. If she denies, be prepared for your friendship being a little awkward for a bit, but just let her know you're cool with and understand her position and whatnot.

---

Now to add my bit to this topic from what I've glanced, (not related to the above post in any way), some guys are kicking the ground because they're so "nice" to girls and none of them want to be with them. That's reality. For example, there's guys, maybe even some of you, that won't even look at a girl as an option because of the way she looks. The reverse is true as well. If a girl doesn't want to accept how "nice" you are because you look scrubby as hell, that's her choice. She isn't a bitch for that.

The best way to be around a girl is not to be extra "nice." It's just to be yourself. If being yourself is being very nice, that's great. But don't try to act extra nice just because a girl is around. I hope that makes sense. Just be yourself and be straight forward. Don't beat around the bush or give speeches you wrote the night before. Guys, would you not love it if women would just be more straight forward and ask you if you're interested or not? Reverse is true as well. Usually.

Yeah I'm rambling a bit but there you go.

[Stuckey]

Oops. Sorta forgot to respond to everyone one here last night. Heh

@My toxic friend, Hedorah- Personally, I wouldn't just go up and tell her. If you want to try SS4G's way of telling her, then you should. What I would do is just ask her to go somewhere with you. Go to the mall with her and tell her that you're in need of some clothes. I like using that because then it lets you scope out how interested they are in you, and lets you pick up on any hints they might throw your way. That's just how I would do that though.

@Flawed- Yeesh...I'd say try places other than the internet. Now, I know you've said you have a medical condition, so I'm not really sure what exactly that limits you on. And I dunno which sites you are using, but as Kane said, Facebook can be one hell of a dating site.

@Yabs- You definately got the bullseye with the whole confidence thing. That's what I want people to start having, confidence in themselves. You deserve a bro-fist.

@JVM- Next time you go somewhere and you see a girl that you find physically attractive, just smile at her when you walk by. Just don't go full-on cheese. Might scare her a little bit. But just by doing that you're going to be building your confidence up.

@Kane- Glad to see another person spittin' out the truth. And good job recommending Facebook. It had slipped my mind, but that's a great place to use. Bro-fist for you also.

@Gorosaurus- For the first chick, DK is right. You probably are going to have to break her heart a little bit. Don't make any excuses up, just tell her that you don't see her as anything more than a friend. As for the second, ask her to go do things more. Like I told Hedorah, I find going to the mall and saying, "I'm in need of some clothes." works well. Or take her to the movies. Heck, ask her to go to a party with you. Just make sure you say something along the lines of, "I want to go to the mall and look for some clothes. Do you want to come with me?" or, "I really want to see this movie. What about you?" or, "There's this party that I'm going to on Saturday. Do you want to come with?"

@Drunken- Good, good. Bro-fist for you too.

[Tim85]

Ever had the line: "I don't think I'm the right girl for you"? That's one of those "Wait what?" moments.

I use to be one of those who cried "I'm never gonna find someone!" because everytime I've asked someone out, I get shot down. Now frankly, I could care aless. I've felt this way ever since Dad died. I just don't care about about that right now, I have bigger problems right now.

Although it is annoying that after she makes it absolutely clear that she's not interested, she starts dropping hints that maybe she is interested. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

[Jesse]

Ever had the line: "I don't think I'm the right girl for you"? That's one of those "Wait what?" moments.

I use to be one of those who cried "I'm never gonna find someone!" because everytime I've asked someone out, I get shot down. Now frankly, I could care aless. I've felt this way ever since Dad died. I just don't care about about that right now, I have bigger problems right now.

Although it is annoying that after she makes it absolutely clear that she's not interested, she starts dropping hints that maybe she is interested. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

Dude, I know what you mean. One of my ex-gals broke up with me saying she wanted to "be single" for awhile. BUT IT WASN'T ME, SHE SWORE IT. Then she went out with some hot shot two weeks later. Nice. She then gave hints of her interest of possibly getting back together, which turned out to be false.

I've been shot down and I've rejected others. It happens man. If she wants to be with you, she'll let you know but don't let it get you down.

[Tim85]

Ever had the line: "I don't think I'm the right girl for you"? That's one of those "Wait what?" moments.

I use to be one of those who cried "I'm never gonna find someone!" because everytime I've asked someone out, I get shot down. Now frankly, I could care aless. I've felt this way ever since Dad died. I just don't care about about that right now, I have bigger problems right now.

Although it is annoying that after she makes it absolutely clear that she's not interested, she starts dropping hints that maybe she is interested. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

Dude, I know what you mean. One of my ex-gals broke up with me saying she wanted to "be single" for awhile. BUT IT WASN'T ME, SHE SWORE IT. Then she went out with some hot shot two weeks later. Nice. She then gave hints of her interest of possibly getting back together, which turned out to be false.

I've been shot down and I've rejected others. It happens man. If she wants to be with you, she'll let you know but don't let it get you down.

It doesn't bother me emotionally. It's just annoying that's all. If she wants to go out with me, fine. If she doesn't, fine. Pick one.

[Stuckey]

Is she the needy-type? If that's the case then that is probably your answer as to why she does that. From my experience, you probably are going to want to steer clear from any that are like that.

[Chris55]

Is she the needy-type? If that's the case then that is probably your answer as to why she does that. From my experience, you probably are going to want to steer clear from any that are like that.

It's only cool if they put out

[JVM]

@Stuckey - I'll try that, thank you.

[FlawedCoil82]

@Flawed- Yeesh...I'd say try places other than the internet. Now, I know you've said you have a medical condition, so I'm not really sure what exactly that limits you on. And I dunno which sites you are using, but as Kane said, Facebook can be one hell of a dating site.

I never liked Facebook because it doesn't allow me to "browse" for new people (or if it does, I haven't figured out how to use it yet). Does it have it's own "dating" service? I just always found Myspace to be much easier to use (plus I like that I can have music on my profile whereas Facebook doesn't really let me do that).
Jack

[Mothra Freak]

You can search for people in that search bar at the top of the page, but you have to have someone in mind. You also have the standard "People You May Know" function as well.

[DrunkenGamer]

I have a small...









self esteem issue. Girls notice it a lot about me. Apparently I'm a bit hard on myself.
Do they really like it when people are full of themselves?

[Fairy Mothra]

I have a small...









self esteem issue. Girls notice it a lot about me. Apparently I'm a bit hard on myself.
Do they really like it when people are full of themselves?

there's a difference between being full of yourself and being confident. confidence just means you're happy with yourself as you are. it doesn't mean you have to have a big ego or act like you're the greatest thing on earth - actually, those are signs of someone who isn't very confident. if you really are happy with yourself you won't feel like you have to advertise it. so yeah, that's the difference :p