Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

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Major sssspielberg!
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Major sssspielberg! » Tue Jun 26, 2018 3:13 pm

Godzilla and two butterflies put on a laser light show that takes second fiddle to a custody battle
Alex Jones: 30 years ago they began creating Houseplant-Godzilla-Japanese Girl hybrids. Isn't that the big story Megyn Kelly should be doing???

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby OneMillionTomsBC » Fri Jun 29, 2018 8:09 pm

Godzilla vs Biollante: Saradian agent SSS9 kills a bunch of mercenaries and says "Kiss you guys" and becomes the single best antagonist of the Godzilla franchise.
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Mothra: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Destoroyah: No SSS9.

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby SoggyNoodles2016 » Sun Jul 01, 2018 10:29 am

OneMillionTomsBC wrote:Godzilla vs Biollante: Saradian agent SSS9 kills a bunch of mercenaries and says "Kiss you guys" and becomes the single best antagonist of the Godzilla franchise.
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Mothra: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla: No SSS9.
Godzilla vs Destoroyah: No SSS9.

This is the greatest post on this thread. Thank you.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby edgaguirus » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:08 pm

G vs M- Godzilla fights Mothra...again.
G vs SG- Godzilla meets a transformer.
G vs B- Did Godzilla really lose to a flower?
Kaiju are just like people- giant, radioactive people.

Megalon went into a bar and saw Gigan. Megalon said, " Again? I thought you gave this up."
" What can I say," Gigan asked. " I'm hooked."

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby SpaceG92 » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:46 pm

I hope you know this thread brought a huge smile to my face. Almost hit the "sticky" button lol.



Godzilla 1984: Alternate universe. Gojeera mistaken for an island and bed lice bad touch a boat. Paparazzi man finds said, now missing boat and is almost bad touched by bed bugs. Man uses ingrained samurai genetics by killing giant bed bug. Goidziller identifies as seagull. Well mustached man uses crazy theory to prove Frankenstein is a bird brain, proven right. Big Green Lizard fights flying douche, gets shoot full of toothpaste. Meanwhile bad editing mangles a key plot element and now Russia fires a Nuclear Missile at Godzilla. America proves why they are the greatest by using a Dr. Pepper funded Nuclear missile and successfully intercepts Russian Vodka rocket. Dr. Pepper revitalizes Godzilla and flying douche can't even, get's crushed by building. Godzilla falls into volcano because bird was the word.

Godzilla vs Biollante: Middle east is a bad place. Rival medical company blows up lab and kills crazy man's daughter. l33t Counter Strike player shows he is superior to COD medical employees. Steals G-Cells because plot. Crazy man proven crazy as he fuses human cells into a rose. Crazy man even CRAZIER as he fuses human/plant with G-Cells. Plot volcano begins to become semi active. Meanwhile, more bio smuggling plot. Son of skreeonk. It's that Sardian agent again! Fast forwarding to Goidzuera scene. Godzilla fights mutant rose human plant, which turns into an eco-unfriendly version of the Wicker Man. Fast forwarding to Goidzuera scene. Godzilla fights flying bathtub drone with a weak excuse for a shield. Shield begins to be damaged by Godzilla's bad breath. Fast forwarding to Goidzuera scene. Man with no fear shoots more toothpaste into Godzilla, twice. Get's crushed. Godzilla fights the return of the flying bathtub and bathtub spontaneously explodes. Godzilla is allergic to toothpaste. Giant whale rose descends from space and turns into a gator mouthed super plant. Little Shop of Horrors attempts to omnomnom Godzilla but Goidzura uses his plot beam and finishes off the plant again. Gawdzilla pass out into the ocean. Crazy scientist gets shot by Counter Strike player who then gets merced by a real military soldier playing the most dangerous came of Mine Sweeper. Goodzilla is alive and moonwalks back into the ocean. Earth is now being orbited by flying space rose which is undoubtedly causing global catastrophe as it plays with the Earth's tidal forces.

2 down. More to come later, eventually - maybe.
Last edited by SpaceG92 on Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:53 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby goji89 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:53 pm

Godzilla Returns: He just returns, even though its NOT the same Godzilla but this one returns apparently and wonders aimlessly because of his lazy eyes. Dr. Pepper sponsors the film with enough advertisements that you have to eventually quench your thirst. Godzilla has lice. Birds can be used to help humanity kill an unstoppable force with the power of bird recordings, because we can understand what birds say now and somehow recorded them telling Godzilla to follow them God knows where...filled with many Deus ex machina in a movie. Russians and steve martin. Nuclear war. Volcanoes. This movie has it all.

Godzilla vs Biollante: Quite single handily the most surreal movie by far. Spirits ARE real and can inhabit a genetically bio engineered rose. Sardia has incredible agents. Somehow exploding a Volcanoe builds steps for Godzilla to break free from the inside begging the question....How could they plant those bombs? And isn't that area under surveillance? I mean a freaking radioactive dinosaur is inside a freaking volcanoe still alive? Godzilla returns again. Never has a rose been soo terrifying and utterly weak against a giant radioactive dinosaur. Watch as Godzilla mows Japans lawn by getting rid of its giant ass weeds. Godzilla almost died in this one too, ex machina again. A spy is vaporized to high hell in what is quite possibly the most gruesome death in any Godzilla movie going as far as to show his burnt ashes. A Spirit that inhabits a giant deformed monstrous rose that is immortal just up and leaves Earth towards space because skreeonk having to fight Godzilla again right?

Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: Meet M11. Whites from the future are dicks hell bent on controlling Japan. Timelines that make you think WTF. A could be romantic relationship between ancestors. Watch as a girl jumps to the future to build MKG and never aged a damn bit , you would think it would take a couple of years or more to gather resources from their skreeonked up timeline but nope, they can build huge wings and rebuild an alien species never before seen. Watch as the continuity of the Godzilla franchise goes to shiit.
Last edited by goji89 on Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby godzilla98rules » Thu Jul 05, 2018 8:43 pm

The Return of Godzilla: .........tweet, tweet............
Godzilla vs Biollante: Little Shop of Saradian Agents
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: Dorat: Judgement Day (Duh Duh Duh... DUH DUH)
Godzilla vs Mothra: Battle for Earth: George Lucas will sue.....
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II: Are You My Mother?
Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla: Black Holes and White Holes: SCIENCE!!!
Godzilla vs Destoroyah: Red Lobster vs Baskin Robins

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Titanoterror98 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 3:53 pm

Lain Of The Wired wrote:Two men who look like they belong in a porno come with a hot chick from the future and her pet Übermensch android, and decide they will go back in time to erase a dinosaur from history. It is revealed Godzilla fulfills every Japanese persons wet dream and skreeonks up every Americunt soldier during a battle in World War II. He then gets blown up by a battleship with the entire three surviving wiggers cheering for their short lived victory, before the dino comes back to life and gets a nice slice of sweet revenge. After removing him with bad 80's effects, the aliens put their three cute Littlest Pet Shop abominations on the island, and the atom bomb test merges them into Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon, who is pwning humanity back to the stone-age. Turns out a bigger Godzilla was created, making the first half of the film entirely pointless. Godzilla shows up. The nazi-future people laugh at him, but then the sexy azn and her arian robot tell them to take their fancy future computer and shove it up their asses and blow up everything. After doing some auto-erotic asphyxiation with a dragon, the dino blows off super Smaug's head, and drops the skreeonker right into the ocean like seagull poop. Godzilla then skreeonks everything up, but then the future or some poop comes into place and a robot dragon piloted by the hot chick shows up and drops them both in the ocean right after it shocks Godzilla with an electric chastity belt

If you are ever having family issues, and mommy doesnt love daddy no more, just help two giant moths fight against a radioactive zombie dinosaur, and everything will be okay.


You sir, just made my day.
Last edited by Titanoterror98 on Fri Jul 06, 2018 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby goji89 » Fri Jul 06, 2018 9:51 pm

Titanoterror98 wrote:You sir, just made my day.


You sir, are talking to a dead guy.

R.I.P Lain......Miss you buddy. :cry:

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Titanoterror98 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:16 am

goji89 wrote:
Titanoterror98 wrote:You sir, just made my day.


You sir, are talking to a dead guy.

R.I.P Lain......Miss you buddy. :cry:


Oh, I had no idea. I'm verry sorry to for your loss.
"Kaiju are underrated."

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Zarm » Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:32 am

goji89 wrote:
Titanoterror98 wrote:You sir, just made my day.


You sir, are talking to a dead guy.

R.I.P Lain......Miss you buddy. :cry:


For real? :( When??
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Maritonic » Sat Jul 07, 2018 8:36 am

Zarm wrote:
goji89 wrote:
Titanoterror98 wrote:You sir, just made my day.


You sir, are talking to a dead guy.

R.I.P Lain......Miss you buddy. :cry:


For real? :( When??


I...don't think he meant literally. I think he meant dead as in no longer living on the forums.
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The dead won't bother you...it's the living you have to worry about.

goji89 wrote:So.......are we gonna Kinkshame the skreeonking birds or what?

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Titanoterror98 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:09 am

Maritonic wrote:
Zarm wrote:
goji89 wrote:
You sir, are talking to a dead guy.

R.I.P Lain......Miss you buddy. :cry:


For real? :( When??


I...don't think he meant literally. I think he meant dead as in no longer living on the forums.


Oh! Well, I sure hope so...
"Kaiju are underrated."

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby goji89 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 10:39 am

I meant he is a banned member that is but a mere memory.......guy's.

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Titanoterror98 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:30 am

goji89 wrote:I meant he is a banned member that is but a mere memory.......guy's.


Oh. Still, sorry to hear.
"Kaiju are underrated."

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby goji89 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 11:35 am

Titanoterror98 wrote:
goji89 wrote:I meant he is a banned member that is but a mere memory.......guy's.


Oh. Still, sorry to hear.


Nah dont worry....bro :huge: .

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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Titanoterror98 » Sat Jul 07, 2018 12:43 pm

goji89 wrote:
Titanoterror98 wrote:
goji89 wrote:I meant he is a banned member that is but a mere memory.......guy's.


Oh. Still, sorry to hear.


Nah dont worry....bro :huge: .


Phew! Thanks... man :)
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby MikeSTZillak » Mon Jul 09, 2018 11:58 am

The Return Of Godzilla: Godzilla stomps through Tokyo and is sealed in a volcano by birds.

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah: Time Travel....... and then there's a mecha version of King Ghidorah.

The End Of Evangelion: A 14-year old boy mastrubates over a comatose 14-year old girl and gets stuck in Pink Floyd's The Wall.

Godzilla (1998): pretty much another one of these descriptions.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby Dino-Mario » Sat Jul 14, 2018 4:37 pm

Return of Godzilla: Birds trick Apezilla into falling into a volcano.
GvsB: Exorcize your weed before you smoke it.
GvsKG: Where's Doc Brown when you need him? Also Terminator wannabe.
GvsM: Say hello to Mothra's edgy brother.
GvsMGII: Child custody, beam spam and giant robots.
GvsSG: Godzilla and Mecha-Woody Woodpecker must kill the Big G's own edgy brother.
GvsD: Godzilla's got one nasty fever and must kill a Giant enemy satanic crab.
RoM: Mothra's male son Leo fights a dragon than screams like an elephant.
RoM2: A big bad dragon spits out evil starfishes and Leo must kill him.
RoM3: King Ghidorah really hates kids.
GOTU: Gamera's back to kick some evil birdie butts.
GvsL: Evil space bugs and evil space flowers, oh my!
GvsIris: Gamera must defeat Big Bird's Hentai-obsessed cousin.
Godzilla 1998: The Simpsons do their own take on The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms.
Godzilla The Series: One big, effective apology letter for everything Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin did.
Last edited by Dino-Mario on Sat Jul 14, 2018 4:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Describe Heisei Movie Plots Badly

Postby HillyHulk » Thu Aug 16, 2018 9:49 pm

Godzilla Returns: Good to have you back, buddy (who will possibly kill me).
Godzilla vs Biollante: Little Shop of Horrors, please don't sue.
Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: Split between singing "Let's do The Time Warp Again" and "Time Keeps on Slipping."
Godzilla vs Mothra: Battle for Earth: (Battra speaking... somehow) Hey, what about me?!
Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II: Isn't there already a sequel to that movie?
Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla: "Teenage Rebellion: The Movie"
Godzilla vs Destoroyah: Humanity, why do you want to kill yourselves?
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