Godzilla vs. Gigan: A Transcript of the Greatest Dub Ever

[Tamura]

For those who want a full transcription of this dub to enjoy reading the dialog and to more easily quote it, I present you this:



Look out!



The monster Shukra!



Is the monster Shukra gonna be see-through?



No… that’s just an outline, a rough.



Oh…well why do you bring me unfinished work?



I’m sorry, sir.



Anyway, what sort of monster is this?



The monster of homework.



Homework?



That’s what you told me. You said find out what the kids hate most, and then visualize whatever it is as a monster. Right?



Haha, well that’s your answer…it’s far too simple! Kids are much too sophisticated for that now.



Yes, I know…but my monster’s created by telepathic action of kids. Their hatred for homework streams into space and forms a monster there. Well then, how’s that?



I think it stinks!



That’s too bad…and after all the trouble we had to get an introduction. We’ll just have to try another place.



Now wait, take it easy. I wanna rest a while.



There’s no time to take a rest. We just got to keep going until we sell some ideas. Here, next place.



The Construction Committee for the World’s Children’s Land.



You know it?



They’re the ones building that Godzilla Tower.



That’s right.



And what is this? Am I supposed to start shoveling dirt?



Just cut the humor and let’s go. Now what’s wrong?



You’re a hard bitch…



Ah, what’s that? Would you say that again…?



Ha, no I won’t…ha, not with you being a black belt in karate! (laughs)



Look…it’s quite impressive, isn’t it? A monster around the tower. A good idea…very good, in fact. In the tower we’re building a museum. It’ll be the first one ever of its type. It will be devoted solely to the monsters - Western and Oriental. All sorts of monsters - ancient and new. The elevator will run right to the top into the monster’s head…over a hundred and fifty feet high…lights for aircraft, a contribution to the community…but the rest is for kids - everything they want here, including peace. Peace - that’s what they want.



But don’t they have peace already, though?



They don’t. Not a real peace, just a sham. I mean real peace…and perfect peace. The only thing to save the world.



Monsters and peace, huh…doesn’t seem to be a connection.



There is…but you have to be a child to appreciate what it is.



And what about my job here? What am I to do?



I want to make this place even better than it is. Do you have any ideas? Any suggestions?



I don’t think you got enough monsters. Kids will wanna play with them, you need some more, like Shukra and Momagon.



Shukra…Momagon?



The homework monster, and the monster of strict mothers.



(chuckling)



I see that you don’t think much of that.



I like it! I think they’re both very good ideas.



Uh-huh…thank you, and what about Monster Island? The island’s full of monsters, all the monsters in the world are there.



I haven’t forgotten Monster Island. But still, the monsters kept there are hardly peaceful, so we make models of them, and once the models are installed in Children’s Land here, we’ll destroy Monster Island.



Destroy it?



That’s right. We intend to wipe out all the monsters, every one of them.



Shukra, the dreaded monster of homework…Momagon, the monster of too-strict mothers…yeah, come in.



Congratulations, you managed to get the job! The boss is very happy with you.



It’s a big deal. I just can’t stand the guy.



You can’t afford to be fussy where you work. Right?



Yeah, but I don’t like this assignment.



That so? But why not? They like you and they’re paying you pretty good, too.



Even so, there’s no feeling there.



We’re getting sensitive, now? You can’t afford to be sensitive. What don’t you like there?



This peace bit.



Peace?



That’s what the man said, all peace.



A nice ideal. Hey there, what’s all this?



Hm? It’s something they want to have first thing tomorrow.



But what is it, though?



Shukra, and Momagon.



Momagon?



Mm.



Is there a certain resemblance here?



(clears throat, awkwardly laughs)



You cheeky pig!



World Children Land Committee Office, tsk…fifth floor.



Hey-hey-hey wait, the tape!



What are you doing here? Where’d she go?



Who go?



The girl, of course!



Whadaya wanna know for?



Where’d she go to?



Uh, hello there.



Hurry up and come in here!



Huh-huh, in-in where?



The chairman’s office. Just go straight in.



Come here. And who are you?



My name’s Gengo.



Ah, so you’re the young man I got the report on.



Who’re you?



Chairman.



Wha…?



Is something wrong?



Well I am a bit surprised.



Well, I don’t see why you should be.



What’s that?



Nebula M Space Hunter Orbit. Do you know it?



Uh, not really. But, uh…



Chairman, she got away.



That’s very bad.



I know. We have to find her.



Unless we can get that tape back quickly, we’ll have to considerably alter our plans.



What’s this tape you’re talking about?



It’s a tape on which our whole plan is based.



And the girl? Industrial spy, eh?



No. She’s much worse than that…an enemy of peace.



Enemy of peace?



That’s right. We’re working hard here to bring absolute peace to the whole world, and she wants to stop us.



Uh…?



Give me the tape back.



The tape?



I watched you picking it up!



But it isn’t yours, is it?



Hehehehehe. Now get it back from him.



Not here!



What? What have you done with it? Where is it? Now, where?!



Oh gosh, I think he’s fainted!



Eh? Oh, he musta though it was a gun!



It’s you!



Ah, now just hold on a minute. Ah, just a minute, eh. Easy now. We’re not bandits.



B-b-b-but your pistol!



Pistol?! Huh? (laughs) You mean this?



Huh?



I’m sorry. I should’ve tried to explain everything first. I’m sorry.



Yeah. Yeah, that’s right.



Oh!



My name’s Shosaku.



And my name’s Machiko Shima.



How do you do.



Bandits introducing themselves? Must be unique…



I told you we’re not bandits!



Or enemies of peace.



They’re the enemies of peace, not us.



Yeah.



Ah, is that so…hm. Right, tell me the whole story.



Alright.



It’s my brother. He’s a computer technician, and he’s been working at that Children’s Land.



And something happened?



Yes, he disappeared. He hasn’t been home for the last three days. And when I went to Children’s Land, they more or less told me to mind my own business. I’m sure there’s something wrong out there.



Mhm.



You see, my brother had been acting very strange. At first, I thought he just been working too hard…but then I read his diary.



What’d it say?



“My suspicions were right. Their plans are diabolical, and it’s all on tapes.”



And so you borrowed one of the tapes…and your brother?



We just don’t know. We thought that they guessed he was becoming suspicious and just locked him up.



But where?



I must confess that we haven’t any idea.



Hm…



The tape, though, might give us a clue!



I haven’t got it.



Huh?



Yeah. I put it into a pay locker, here’s the key.



Just put it there. Shima, no sabotage.



Now listen, you can’t get away with this.



I think we can. We’re just holding you here for a while.



It’s illegal detention!



We’re sorry about that. But we’ve no other choice.



There’ll come a time when you’ll thank us for keeping you here like this.



Thank you?



That’s right. There’s no other equipment in the world like this. When the whole thing’s assembled, you’ll be the world’s foremost authority on electronics.



Chairman…listen!



Someone’s playing the action signal tape.



Yeah!



That’s bad.



Hey, who in the hell are you people?!



What is it?



Wrong speed, maybe.



Hm…well, it doesn’t make any sense to me.



Oh, light’s out.



Tape must be finished.



Now what?



We’ll have to change the computer program. Change plan number 3 to number 6!



Right! We’re safe enough. No human being could understand that.



The monsters on Monster Island could understand it.



Hey, Angila!



What do you want?



Something funny going on. You better check.



OK!



Hurry up!



Hey.



Oh. Hello.



What were you doing?



I was just looking for you. Uh, I brought the layouts.



Mhm.



Oh…that’s my brother’s!



Huh?



Look! T.S, that’s his initials.



What’s his name?



Takashi Shima.



And where’d you find this?



In the tower.



Oh, did-did you see him?



Uh, didn’t see anyone. But I’m sure he’s there.



Yeah…it’s not gonna be easy to find him…



The whole thing gets more suspicious every minute. Perfect peace, my eye!



Yeah, but even so there has to be some sort of significance behind all this perfect peace gimmickry.



Yeah…there’s something very odd about the chairman, too.



Yeah?



They call him the chairman, but in fact he’s only a child. And he seems to be a wiz at mathematics.



Huh…



He does coordinate geometry for fun. When I was there, he was working on something. Know what it was? He was calculating the main orbit of Nebula Space Hunter M.



Nebula Space Hunter M, huh…



You know it?



Huh, what? Haha, no, never heard of it! Heh.



Well I guess we ought to look into this, but where do we start?



Sure is tough…mm…hm? Yeah, no, somebody kick me! Kick me hard!



What’s wrong?



We’re stupid! Why don’t we start with the things we already know?



I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.



Children’s Land, that’s what! Let’s do a little digging into the background of these people and maybe that way we can find out what they’re up to.



Yes, he’s right. The chairman and secretary, let’s find out where they come from.



Sure!



Mm. Let’s check at City Hall!



Right!



This is what I got. People behind Children’s Land are the Children’s International Federation. They get all their finance from private donations, but they never accept donations with any strings attached so they can do just what they want, and no questions asked.



Non-profit making organization...



Isn’t that suspicious?



HQ?



In Switzerland.



Yeah, that’s just too convenient. Oh, and you?



Oh, I checked on the secretary.



He looks a bit foreign.



No. Regular Japanese citizen. He comes from Yamanoshi just fifty miles away.



Yamanoshi, you say? The young boy they call the chairman comes from Yamanoshi. His name’s Fumio Sudo and he’s seventeen years old.



Hm…could be a coincidence.



Hm…I simply don’t believe in coincidences like that.



Nor do I.



Right, let’s check it out.



Sure.



How much farther is it now?



About forty miles. Be there in an hour.



The chairman’s house.



Hear the priest?



Yeah.



Sounds like somebody’s died.



Good afternoon.



Good afternoon!



Hello.



Good afternoon.



Good afternoon. Can I help you?



Eh, we’re making some inquiries about Mr. Fumio Sudo.



Fumio?



Yeah. Is he here?



No, he isn’t here now.



I see. In Tokyo, huh?



What do you mean, is this some sort of joke? Fumio’s been dead in his grave for over a year.



Huh?!



Today’s the first anniversary.



Can’t be!



Huh?



Visitors, eh?



They’ve just told me they came up here to see Fumio.



Oh, that’s not possible. Fumio’s gone to a much better place.



But I saw him in Tokyo last week.



That’s impossible. I was there by his side when he died. I saw him breathe his last! You must’ve made a mistake.



Please, could you possibly show us a photograph of him.



If you could, please.



Thank you.



Of course.



Tell me now, this Fumio you say that you met, just what sort of fella was he then?



He’s the chairman of the Children’s Land.



Children’s Land? Is that some sort of fancy name for a lunatic asylum?



Heh, it’s a charitable project.



I see.



And this fellow Fumio, he’s an extremely brilliant young man. A genius, in fact.



(laughs) That’s certainly a different fella. That just settles it!



Eh?



This Fumio, he was as thick as two short planks!



(laughs) Oh…



I’m afraid this is the only photograph I could find.



Thank you. Huh…?



Tell me, who’s that fellow with him?



Why, that’s Mr. Kubota.



Kubota?



He was Fumio’s teacher of English when he was in junior high. They were killed together, climbing…in an accident when they were climbing up that big mountain over there…that’s right. And I have to get going to arrange a commemorative ceremony for them both tonight at the temple, goodbye.



So they’ve been dead for more than a year now. It isn’t possible…



Here’s a message from Nebula M Space Hunter. Connect translator.



Right.



“The change of plans is approved. Prepare for arrivals.”



Mm. So it’s starting. Commence sending action tape one!



Right!



No wait!



Keep out of this.



What sort of tape is this?



The tape of peace.



Peace? Peace for who?!



Angilas! Angilas has entered Sagami Bay!



Move out, mobile units 2 and 4.



Halt!



Dismount!



Lights on! Lights on!



Open fire!



Chairman, tell me now…what’ll we do with Shima?



Now that we know the power of the earth men, he’s no further use to us even as a sample.



Hey, you in there!



Who’s that?



Are you Shima?



That’s right, yeah.



Hey!



What are you doing here?



Oh, uh, just looking for you, and I thought I’d take a rest. (laughs) I’m pretty tired.



That’s not my room. I don’t live here.



I’m new here. I hadn’t any idea where your room is.



But why’d you come here so late?



Uh, I had to have your opinion on those layouts I gave you the other day.



Really, so late?



Uh, it’s very important to me, and you said you wanted ‘em in a hurry. So, I’m anxious to finish, that’s all. Simple as that.



Well you have no business to come up here. Go back down to the office. Right away.



Uh–er-er, yes, of course, right away! Thank you. See you tomorrow!



Wait!



Oh… ah, cigarettes.



They’re for you…



Oh, thank you. Thanks a lot!



Tell me now, what do you think?



Stupid, but at the same time cunning. Seems to me a very curious specimen indeed.



I was right. Your brother is locked up in that tower.



You sure? You actually see him?



No, I didn’t, but they got him firmly locked up there. I did manage to speak to him.



Well, so you’re all in on this.



How’d you find us?



The cigarettes. Small transmitters in their filters.



So that’s it!



Leave that!



Only taking back our own property. She stole the tape from us…but the trouble is that you know too much now.



What? What’ll you do?



I’m back now! Now then, what’re you doing?



You, get out!



Are you people sure you’re all sane?



Of course we are, and you’ve gotta raid that Godzilla Tower.



Yeah, right away too, yeah.



Now, come on, just on your say so?



We’ve given you the reasons! And this girl’s brother, he’s in danger!



That’s right, it’s the truth. This is his lighter!



Attention: We have heard from the control center on Monster Island that the two monsters Godzilla and Angilas have broken out. They are said to be heading for the Kanto district. All men stand by.



Receiving pilot signal from Nebula Hunter.



Good. Synchronize conductor.



Right.



All ready here. And you?



Ready. This is the day we’ve planned for. We came to this planet searching for eternal peace for us all. Perfect peace! And now we’re going to see our hope come true.



Look. They’ve switched the lights on up there.



Yes.



I think that’s the room that your brother’s locked in.



No sign of any guards.



Now, we’ll go on in. You carry out the rest of the plan.



Okay.



I think we better use the stairs. It ought to be safer.



Right.



Oh, I’m finished.



Just get on your feet. Are you a man?



Hurry up!



Thank you.



(laughs) You people can consider yourselves quite lucky.



Why should we think we’re lucky?



Well, I hadn’t meant to kill you straight away…but the plans have changed.



Looks bad…over ten minutes.



You mean…they’ve been caught?



Yeah, afraid so. Well alright, try plan two!



Now what we plan is to use you and your friends as what you might roughly call uniform for friends who are coming soon.



Uniform?



Yes, that’s what I said.



Are you people wearing uniform now?



Yes, we are. Although it isn’t really the original anymore now, it does change. We’ve tried many experiments and we find that human beings make better receptacles than any other species.



Well, just what the hell are you?



Alright. If you want to know…



Look up there. There are many stars in the universe. And many of the stars have planets just like this one. In fact, the planet that we came from is very much like this one. The planet was about the same size, temperate climate, and oxygen-rich atmosphere. Yeah, it was a very pleasant planet indeed to live on. The dominant species was very like you. A little different…not much though, not much…because just like you they set about ruining the planet. They went blindly ahead for millions of years, polluting and despoiling everything they touched, eroding the land, polluting the sea, pouring millions of tons of poison into the atmosphere. Eventually it became too much and the dominant species simply died out. And that’s what would happen here to your species eventually…the human race would simply have faded away, leaving only a heap of garbage behind it. But though the human race dies, some other creatures would still survive. Exactly as we did. We took over our planet and then we built a new sort of technology.



But why?



We’re a little too late…our planet already started to die.



So, you want to take over the Earth?



Conditions here are very favorable for us. Not ideal as it is, but we can soon make it very peaceful indeed.



Peaceful…but peaceful for who?



For us. For our own species.



What is your species? What are you?



A species that can survive under the worst possible condition.



Switch to emergency lighting!



Right!



A cockroach!



You see what I mean…when I talk about human receptacles.



Sir, two unidentified objects…approaching Earth at approximately mach 4.



Switch over to laser radar.



Right.



Two monsters. One of them is Ghidorah. The other one is new…a completely new sound.



All men report to action stations!



Look out there…those two space monsters. The one with the three heads is King Ghidorah, and that one’s Gigan. We’re controlling them. Their action patterns are programmed on these two tapes here. That’s why we had to get the tape back from you. Without it, we would have no control over those monsters.



Alright! The monsters will now start attacking Tokyo, and destroy everything in it!



Hey, Angila, come on. There’s a lot of trouble ahead. We must hurry!



OK!



It’s all going absolutely to plan. Perfectly. All of it.



I hope that Machiko makes it.



Of course she’ll make it, it was all part of my plan.



That’s exactly what worries me. Your plans never really seem to work.



Oh, cut it out now. It’s no time for quarrelling.



The latest news flash on the two monsters is that they are heading south and making for Tukagi (?) Beach. They are destroying industrial facilities and oil refineries and more troops are being rushed into the area as quickly as possible.



Chairman, Godzilla has just arrived.



His appearance is a necessary part of the plan. We have to attract him here and then we can kill him.



Hey, look. There.



Good, they know we’re here. Okay!



That’s right.



Tie it there.



Now, hurry!



Right. Careful.



Watch yourself.



Takeshi!



Machiko! Are you alright?



Come on, let’s go!



Right!



The humans got away.



Fool! You must kill them.



Alright.



Boy, if we’d been in the car!



We’d have sure been barbequed.



Victory for simplicity. They must’ve been sure we’d use that car.



They’re hypnotized by machinery completely.



Guess you’re right. Still, we’re not. So let’s get our feet moving. Right?



Monster Godzilla is coming this way.



Excellent. Are the laser beams ready?



Ready now!



Alright. Make sure you get him. If we can kill Godzilla, then we’ve won.



They’re not human beings, they’re aliens who’ve landed from some other planet. We’ve got to stop them!



So what do you want me to do? Those damn monsters have got us completely beat.



I know. We saw them.



Only Godzilla has a chance with-



I’m not too sure of that. If he goes near the tower, they’ll just bring him down with the laser beams.



Well, there’s not a damn thing we can do about the tower, for sure. Those two monsters are defending it. We wouldn’t have a chance, ever. Anyway, I reckon the tower must be impregnable.



You’re right. Still, there’s the inside.



The inside?



That’s right. They’re busy watching the monsters. They’re probably watching out for troops, but a small group could get in there.



Hm, you’re right.



Laser beams, now!



Godzilla’s in trouble!



Right. Quick!



Hey, run!



Look! Godzilla’s finished.



The elevator’s moving.



It’s them. Go down and get them!



All okay?



Where are you, Kubota?



I’m here…know what went wrong?



I don’t know why! Why did the machines go wrong? Everything was going so good…going so well!



Is Godzilla alright?



I don’t know, but at least the space monsters aren’t being controlled anymore.



Godzilla’s strong again!



Godzilla has won!



This is a real mess…



Mm. The tower’s completely gone.



Perfect peace…that’s what they said they wanted.



But it wasn’t the sort of peace that we’d like. Still, they did what they had to do.



What’s wrong?



Look there!



They may have been right. Perhaps one day the cockroaches are going to inherit the world.



Maybe. Oh, Godzilla’s going back!



Goodbye!

[Red-Death Gigan]

Nice!

[Arbok]

Just wanted to give this post a little nudge. Not only is it an amazing resource, but did use it recently for the April Fools' prank we ran on the World Children's Land:

https://www.tohokingdom.com/blog/april-fools-day-2024/