KAIJU PLANET Discussion Thread

A board for users to display their created fiction. Creating a separate topic for comments is suggested.

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TheTohoSociety
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KAIJU PLANET Discussion Thread

Postby TheTohoSociety » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:02 am

Talk about, Review, and more regarding KAIJU PLANET
Link to the story is here: viewtopic.php?f=34&t=26620

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Gojira21
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Re: KAIJU PLANET Discussion Thread

Postby Gojira21 » Sun Jun 18, 2017 10:36 am

This needs a lot of work. The story itself isn't bad at all, actually quite original. That being said, there are some problems with sentence structure and some sentence running together. Plus, need try add little more detail (if possible). Everything was happening so fast it was hard to distinguish what was happening.

Also...spacing out dialogue is your friend! :lol: it helps make things more fluid when it is less jumbled up.

Overall though, keep up the work! The idea of the story is great, and with practice you will improve!
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