Voting Day

[g2kmaster]

A little, short film I made this past couple of months. Here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cFY6-Gv9qc

I am posting this here instead of the "post a video" thread since this is my own video and I would like to keep track of the constructive criticism/questions which could follow. Hope you guys enjoy it.

[wataru]

A little, short film I made this past couple of months. Here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cFY6-Gv9qc

I am posting this here instead of the "post a video" thread since this is my own video and I would like to keep track of the constructive criticism/questions which could follow. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Should be in the fan art stuffz. IMHO.

[g2kmaster]

It's not a piece of fan video, it is an original piece. That's why it is here.

[wataru]

It's not a piece of fan video, it is an original piece. That's why it is here.

A little, short film I made this past couple of months.

Fan video.

[G-Matt]

I have to agree with wataru on this one, this should be moved to the correct section.

BOT: Like I've already said, I think you did a good job on this short with the limitations you had (not-so-good editing softwares etc.).

A little piece of trivia: As some of you might notice from the credits, I did the original music for this film, so I'm curious to hear your opinions about that.

[SuperSaiyan4Godzilla]

It's not a piece of fan video, it is an original piece. That's why it is here.

A little, short film I made this past couple of months.

Fan video.

I agree.

[g2kmaster]

The term fan video does not mean it is made by a fan. Fan video means that it was made by a fan of something and that the video pertain to a specific franchise he is a fan of. But whatever...

[SuperSaiyan4Godzilla]

The term fan video does not mean it is made by a fan. Fan video means that it was made by a fan of something and that the video pertain to a specific franchise he is a fan of. But whatever...

Good. Because we can't clutter up General Discussion more than it already is.

[DaiKamonohashi]

I would actually agree that this doesn't really fit in the "Fan Video" category but my saying that isn't going to change anything so...

As for the film itself? Well, it's awful. Really awful. But that's okay, because if we're going to make films in the Terry Gilliam School of Filmmaking, we're usually going to start out making awful films and eventually we will make less awful films and then they'll start resembling good films. Alternatively, if we start out making halfway decent films, we're bound to stumble at some point along the way. It's just how art works.

Here, just to prove it, here's a really awful film I made: https://vimeo.com/7427294 Watch that if you don't believe me. Actually, don't. It's just that awful.

Anyway, your biggest problem here (there are several but this is your biggest) is that your film is at least twice as long as it really should be, if not more. It's filled with irrelevant information, like the extended shot of the television that we open on. If I weren't actively watching this to give you a fair shake, I would have turned it off a third of the way into that single shot, to say nothing of the two-thirds that followed. I'd rather go watch Maru play with a box. I can't help it, he's just that adorable. Then the shot of you sitting on the bed, sighing - too long again. Long takes need a point and since it's harder to justify a long take over a shorter one, in addition for your audience having the attention span of a school of goldfish, it's best to aim for brevity. Your credits I'll forgive, though they could also move a bit faster. Less forgivable is your lingering on a black screen so the song can play a little longer. Stop that, son, and move the hell on. There are plenty of other examples of this unnecessary lingering, though the absolute most offensive is the final "finale" title card. Firstly, that's not even the correct word to be using, as "finale" denotes "the last part of a piece of music, a performance, or a public event, esp. when particularly dramatic or exciting." (Oxford) "Fin," would be more appropriate, as it actually IS a fancy way of saying "the end," while "finale" is not. That's still relatively minor when compared to the fact that you left the title on the screen for over two minutes while you let the music play out. Damn it, son, no. You fade the music out! FADE. D8

There are plenty of other issues. For example, while the message you're trying to convey is completely valid, your attempts to convey it come off as comedically pretentious. Plus the general light/sound issues that plague almost EVERY AMATEUR PRODUCTION IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, so I'm ignoring those. Fix them anyway if you're going to keep this up, though. The sudden switch from documentary-style filmmaking to... dystopian alternate future fiction? That's not necessarily a bad thing, I guess, but it felt straight out of left field here and its tone added to the air of self-importance about the film.

I dunno, your biggest problem right now is you need to learn brevity. This film should be four or five minutes long, not twelve. Anyway, it's 4am and I think I've savaged your film enough for tonight. Keep making stuff and you'll get better eventually. Hopefully. Unless you don't but let's try and be positive here.

Cheers!

[g2kmaster]

Damn, finally, a review that in in depth. I should have visited this topic again over a month ago.

But thanks. Your complain about the first shot and the ending are valid points, which have been mentioned to me before, so I will take heed. The other details will be paid attention too as well. Just hope that I can continue to work, if only I had a cast in which to fully express themes with... thus far, it seems to be one person shows... oh well, there was something I did before this that's about 20 minutes if one needs to compare...

http://touch.dailymotion.com/#/video/xp ... shortfilms

I wouldn't recommend it.