The Kaijero Discussion

[ernesth100]

Story: http://www.tohokingdom.com/forum/viewto ... 18&t=25272

Premise: In the year 2132, when kaiju are once again a myth and the world is at an era of peace. 18 year old Max Zhang is a half Japanese boy who lives in Osaka, Japan with his older brother Ken. When he discovers highly advanced wristband he gains the power to turn into seemingly any kaiju he wants, called the KaiBand with his new abilities he fights against an evil organization know as "The Law". Who want Japan under their rule.

Characters: Max Zhang, Ken Zhang, Law.

Please give feedback

[ernesth100]

-Snip-

[ernesth100]

New Part Out In The Story. I plan on making the next few chapters more detailed and development based. Max will be focusing on his ability to master the KaiBand.

[GodzillavsJason]

Got around to reading this, and it was decent. It does have errors in it, such as leaving a few words out, along with spelling. I will also say, aside from the first chapter and bits of the third chapter, it lacks world building. I do like the idea of this world you're trying to create, but there's not a whole lot going on for it at the moment. However, it's only the third chapter, so I can be a bit more forgiving on that front. I will say I like the KaiBand and the idea behind it all.

One thing that does bother me a bit, is how the story moves extremely fast, rarely being able to take a breath. The fights are short and not all that satisfying. I would like to see stakes raised for our protagonist, Max, during his fights, since those would make them a lot more engaging.

I do, however, enjoy the banter between Max and Ken, as I felt those parts do make the story more fascinating. Plus, I am a bit intrigued to say the least about "The Law".

All in all, this story has potential, so I'll be keeping an eye on this.

[ernesth100]

Much respect. And understood. This wasn't one of my better worked out stories. I'd say check out the recent series of Agents of KAIJU. This is simply a rough spin-off of that idea, not much focus or effort went into it. But I do plan on having the two universes collide the future. Trust and believe from this point forward both series will be receiving serious updates.

[ernesth100]

New part.

Summary:

The Law develops a new weapon to destroy Max. An adaptable Mech know as "The God-Mecha". Can Max outsmart a being that's built to counter his every move? Or will he finally succumb to the will of The Law.