Terror of Yapool Discussion Thread

[GodzillavsJason]

Good story so far but it has some flaws to it. Such as grammar issues (Commas are being used wrong in a lot of the places. A lot of places) and I noticed some spelling errors that can be fixed. Plus each chapter can go into a little more detail of the fights and Yapool's plans. All in all it's decent but work on those mistakes and you'll have a great story. I will also keep following on this so good work.

[pta917]

Thank you and I'l try and make it better.

[Biogoji]

The chapter was good through it's not as good as the others and i agree with GVJ. But I can't wait for more especially if Alien Nackle's getting his time to shrine.

[pta917]

Now I'm hurt
But the next episode will have Nackle seeing that something/someone is aproaching Earth.

[Biogoji]

I'm sorry but well someone had to say it.

[pta917]

I was kidding having a bad chapter or writting mistakes doesnt really affect me that much, just shows that I have to be better.
And who do you think Is comming to Earth?

[pta917]

First part of Episode 4 is up go and see. It might not be that good but I'm not in the best shape to writte.

Bios:

Gudon


Height: 50 meters

Powers:
Whip Arms: Gudon has two long whips for arms. These are very strong and can be used to constrict as well as whip.


Gomora


Height: 50 meters

Powers:
Missiles: Gomora II can fire missile-like blasts from his sockets on his fingers in rapid succession.

Energy Blasts: Gomora II can fire Blue "V-shaped" energy blasts from his top head crest in rapid succession.

Lightning: Gomora II can fire lightning from his top head crest.

Energy Ring: Gomora II can create a ring made of energy that can ensnare opponents.


Ultraman Jack


Height: 40 meters

Powers:
Specium Ray: Jack can fire the Specium Ray by crossing his arms in a lower case "+" style beam . It can obliterate monsters in one shot.

Ultra Bracelet: A multi-purpose weapon that can be used like the Eye Slugger, but can also transform into a lance, a cross, shield, and a light reflector.

Ultra Slash: Jack can fire the Ultra-Slash from his hand. Can slice through monsters easily.

[GodzillavsJason]

''Gudon, Gomora come time.'

Wut?

It was decent but still has some grammar issues and spelling plus it need more detail. It was very short and need some more background to it like how did they get their exactly. But still a good read just needs some work.

[pta917]

Last part of the chapter is done and it's all thanks to GVJ who helped me do it and improve it.

[Biogoji]

It was good but i have a quick question i don't know i missed something but what happened to Gudon?

[pta917]

I also forgot him while writting but in that moment when the ground explodes that is Jack throwing Gudons corpse that's why Gudon happears from the ground right after that.

[Biogoji]

Oh ok.

[pta917]

New one part chapter, enjoy it because it was edited by GvJ.

Bios:

Hanzagiran


Height: 59 meters

Powers:
Acid Spray: Hanzagiran can spray a white-foamy acid from his mouth that can melt rocks and humans.

Thick Armor: Hanzagiran's body armor are tough enough to withstand physical attacks and most firepower.

King Crab


Height: 88 meters

Powers:
Flames: King Crab can emit a deadly stream of fire from his forehead.

Barabas


Height: 75 meters

Powers:
Flames: Barabas can emit a deadly stream of fire from his mouth.

Grappling Hook: Barabas can fire out a chained grappling hook from his spiked mace hand. This chain can then coil around an enemy's throat or body part.

Sword Flashes: Barabas can create paralyzing flashes of light emitting from the sword on his head.

Sword Launch: The horn-like sword that adorns Barabas’ head is capable of launching from his skull as if a missile. However this sword does not have a homing ability and can be picked out of the sky and used as a weapon, even by his enemies.

Tail: Barabas' tail splits into three pieces near the end of it. It can be used to strangle foes.

Tyrant


Height: 62 meters

Powers:
Flames: Tyrant can emit a stream of deadly fire from his mouth.

Chain: Given to him by Barabas, Tyrant can fire out a chain from his spiked mace hand. This chain can then coil around an enemy's throat or body part.

Axe: Given to him by Barabas, Tyrant's left hand is a massive axe.

Spiked Mace: Given to him by Barabas, Tyrant's right hand is a massive spiked mace.

Gorge: Given to him by Bemstar, Tyrant is capable of absorbing almost any type of energy attack through his stomach region, using the gorge in his belly to consume all but the most powerful beam weapons.

[GodzillavsJason]

Looks good my friend and hopefully this continues.

[Biogoji]

Ah tyrant finally getting the treatment you deserve. Good job Pta but I just have a question is Ace Killer getting the fighting data or is Zetton.

[pta917]

I edit it now it's Zetton that is getting the data and you like what I did with Tyrant?
And also if things go as I want he will only happear in the end of the story.

[Biogoji]

Awesome man.

[pta917]

New episode, edited by GvJ.

Bios

Cowra


Height: 61 meters

Powers:
Apex Beam: Cowra can shoot a purple beam from in between his horns.


Sabotendar (first form)


Height: 30 meters

Powers:
Flames: Sabotendar can spew flames from his mouth.


Gandar


Height: 15 meters

Powers:
Cold Blow: Gandar can fire a breath of ice from his mouth. It is strong enough to freeze weaker target in seconds.

Flight: Gandar can fly at moderate speeds from the folds on its body.


Lunatyx


Height: 58 meters

Powers:
Eye Bomb: An unusual ability, Lunaticks's eyes can shoot out of their sockets and explode on impact, his eyes regenerate soon after.

Fire Breath: Lunaticks can expel a stream of fire from his "tongue".

Poison Gas: When needed, Lunaticks can breath a white, choking mist from his mouth.

Burrowing: Lunaticks can burrow underground at moderate speeds.


Zaigon


Height: 45 meters

Powers:
Flame: Zaigon can spew a stream of fire from his mouth.

Jet Jaguar


Height: 50 meters

Powers: Flight at mach 3.5; can unleash a power full maser beam from his eyes

[Biogoji]

HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEEL
EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL
JET JAGUAR? JET JAGUAR!
HE MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM
HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT HE'D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID AGAINST A ROCK
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
WHO'S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH!
DON'T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN.

Great Chapter dude.

[pta917]

So now put that in words I can understand.