"NEO: Will You Miss Me?" Discussion

[Kubo]

Late post, but...

I don't know if I dug the lengthy introduction scene. There are way too many characters for it to be practically done. Sure, some chemistry is extracted from characters, but many of the characters began to blend together. It would've been okay if, say, you summarized the whole fiasco in a couple paragraphs, but it drags on longer than it should.

Not only that, but I find it really unlikely that a group of people who have little or no previous relations would be sent to another planet. Like...there's a lot of time being wasted on these introductions when they could be establishing themselves on the planet and exploring.

Now, I bashed a little bit, but I won't say I didn't enjoy reading some of this. Just keep my critiques in mind, Mr. X. Looking forward to more!

[Beef Bigshot]

Not only that, but I find it really unlikely that a group of people who have little or no previous relations would be sent to another planet. Like...there's a lot of time being wasted on these introductions when they could be establishing themselves on the planet and exploring.

.............are you trying to apply logic to a sci-fi story..........good luck with that bro

[Kubo]

Not only that, but I find it really unlikely that a group of people who have little or no previous relations would be sent to another planet. Like...there's a lot of time being wasted on these introductions when they could be establishing themselves on the planet and exploring.

.............are you trying to apply logic to a sci-fi story..........good luck with that bro

There's a difference between a magical and surreal world and illogical actions. Unless there's a reason for the anonymity, it is a bit of an issue in the story.

But maybe I'm missing something...X, was the mission intentionally designed so that they were all meant to not know each other initially?

[Beef Bigshot]

But maybe I'm missing something...X, was the mission intentionally designed so that they were all meant to not know each other initially?

actually X's decision may make more sense than you think. in some top secret military operation, a squad of troops may not know or be told their mission until they get to their location or to a certain point. it technically would make sense for everyone to not know each other and not really know their true mission was in order to keep secrecy

[Kubo]

Hmm hmm...I suppose I'll let it slide. But ye be warned! Don't make anymore mistakes, Mr. X!

[Mr. X]

I will say at one point that I was considering just doing a brief summary of who was who, but decided against it. In this way, you get a bit of a feel for some of their personalities (not much, but at least you can tell a bit from how they acted [like how Felix, for example, is very shy]), and maybe see how they will interact with each other in the future. Like Alexey (future = progress, not dwelling the past) probably isn't going to like Kiralsa (a Paleobiologist). Obviously there wasn't much in this chapter, but you something of a "preface" for some of them. In addition, you can feel a bit of an awkward atmosphere in the chapter, with the awkward transitions and whatnot. After all, they are all strangers that just met.

One of the major things the story will show is how a bunch of different strangers from all over the world interact with one another in a very stressful situation (and believe me, it's about to get a whole lot more stressful!). Who will befriend who, who doesn't like who, how they will work together (or not work together), etc.

Originally, they weren't going to get to know each other; learn each others names, of course, but not much else. They were just going to do their jobs and experience the... well, experience of a lifetime. But clearly things have changed.

Like Beef said, they do do things kinda like the way I did it in real life. But this is a bit different, yes. There is a reason these random strangers were chosen, though it might not come to light for a while. You'll see that it will bother some of them, some more than others. Why them?

[Kubo]

I will say at one point that I was considering just doing a brief summary of who was who, but decided against it. In this way, you get a bit of a feel for some of their personalities (not much, but at least you can tell a bit from how they acted [like how Felix, for example, is very shy]), and maybe see how they will interact with each other in the future. Like Alexey (future = progress, not dwelling the past) probably isn't going to like Kiralsa (a Paleobiologist). Obviously there wasn't much in this chapter, but you something of a "preface" for some of them. In addition, you can feel a bit of an awkward atmosphere in the chapter, with the awkward transitions and whatnot. After all, they are all strangers that just met.

I understand your point here, but I think you're missing mine (not trying to start a feud over such a minute point here, but dammit! ). There are a lot of characters in this scene that are what would be considered filler. It's like throwing a handful of darts at a target across the room. Some of them might stick, but most won't, and hell, some might end up under the couch! My point is, this made a lot of the characters seem like they're inserted merely to represent the users who signed up. I think it's important to let each one shine (especially mine, if you know what I'm saying *wink wink*), but if they all are at once, it's blinding.

Plot-wise, it's in the past now, so no need to make any amends. The introduction scene makes more sense as I settle into it, but it still irks me like a rock in my shoe.

Why can't I write with this much pizazz when I want to?!

[Beef Bigshot]

alright, i have a real question for X. Did you put my character in at the lst to just bother me.....dont lie i know you did

[Mr. X]

@ KC - Ah, I see, I see. Just remember, I'm new to this - go easy on me! XD

alright, i have a real question for X. Did you put my character in at the lst to just bother me.....dont lie i know you did

Yes.




Anyways.... anyone want a preview of chapter 3? It's likely not gonna be up for a while, but... I have a good chunk done.

[Mr. X]

I see no reason for chapter 3 not to be up this week. Have the rest of the night to work on it, and hopefully have it completely finished by the end of the week.

Here's an out-of-context, completely random preview for your eyes to read (kinda spoilery maybe?):

Spoiler:

She ran up behind him.

“What happened?”

“Wake the others,” was the blunt reply. He did not slow.

“Why? What happened?”

“Just wake the others. Quietly. We’re going,” he replied harshly.

Ruh roh. Wha 'appen?

[Beef Bigshot]

gee, i wander who this person is with their premature exodus?

[Mr. X]

So, uh, you said Chapter 3 would be up soon. That week, in fact. Creativity suddenly die on ya, Mr. X? I was really excited to see this thing keep going.

Lack of inspiration, lack of time, etc.

I wrote most of chapter 3, but slowly it was becoming more of a chore than it was writing it for fun. I didn't really like where it was going and things were moving WAY too fast. Ultimately, a good 95% was shelved. I now have an idea of what to do with this chapter now and got a fair amount done over the weekend. Completely different atmosphere from the original. It's still a really big chapter, as I said in the past.

On the plus side, got a shitload of planning done. Outlined the next few chapters in detail, and have had numerous ideas about other things I'm doing in the future. Really want to share some of it, but it must wait!

[Beef Bigshot]

I completely understand the lack of inspiration man. Typically for me though, i can sorta artificially produce it while at school and thinking how I could be better spending my time. For example, yesterday, i thought up some ideas for an old story i never completed.

basically, i get it. Im personally fine waiting though for a good chapter

[Mr. X]

Small update: I've been putting A LOT of thought into this whole thing. The background, the future, the why's. All going greatly. Trying to avoid cliches, which is surprisingly difficult with this kind of story (though nobody knows what kind of story it even is yet ).

Oh yeah, I threw in an Easter Egg of sorts in one of the chapters. Whoever finds it wins a prize!*

*You will not win a prize.