Maritonic wrote:Been a rough week and a half. Almost two, now. What I mentioned last Monday (Tuesday?) is still going on. Got worse. Got a bit better. But still going on.
I started therapy on Saturday, and eh. We'll see how it goes. But today kinda has me bummed out. I finally made the choice to get the ball rolling on bariatric surgery (ball rolling, but process starting after the holidays 'cause I'm not eating yogurt and chicken broth on Christmas Eve). But it's kinda got me down because I really don't think I'm going to be able to do this surgery. It's such a radical lifestyle change, but not in like. A good way. So, for example here. They say if you drink one alcoholic beverage, within 13 minutes you'll have the B.A.C. of three drinks. If you get pulled over, you'll fail a breathalyzer test. That's not a life style change. A life style change is not drinking on week nights, and only having drinks socially with friends. I have to take a large amount of vitamins for the rest of my life, 10 minutes between each pill.
Sure, on one hand, these are changes that outweigh being obese. But like, good lord, what if I just want to have a coke once in a blue moon? Nope. Can't do it.
What sucks is I'm not even that unhealthy of a person. My stomach is just large from past unhealthiness and past binge eating issues, now under control, that if I try portion control I feel like I'm literally starving. So, on one hand I do a surgery that would completely limit my life and sure, I'd lose weight but I wouldn't really get to *enjoy* it except yay being skinny. On the other, I'm completely uncomfortable in my body and live a life of constantly fighting to lose weight.
None of this probably makes any sense to you guys, because you don't really know me so you probably picture a 400 pound guy eating donuts, fighting doctors off with a chicken wing. But that's not what's going on. Just kinda bummed.
Real quick let me ask: what's bariatric surgery? (I'm kind of afraid to look it up.)
I don't know what to say, except the whole "wouldn't be able to enjoy it" makes it sound like a bad idea. Heck, after seeing what you've posted in "post your picture" I'd have to say you don't look overweight at all. I say don't do it. It saves money and lets you drink coke. Real coke in a glass bottle that burns away every trace of mucus in your throat.
Either way, sorry you're bummed. We're praying for you guys and hoping things get better.