Stuckey's "How to get the girl"

[Gorosaurus Rex]

I'd say three, if she's really into you and you into her you can probably make the distance work.

As for Caesar, stay careful. That type of stuff can go wrong real fast.

[Spirit Ghidorah 2010]

If 30 miles isn't a big issue for you (and I give props to you if that's the case, since I have trouble keeping with chicks who aren't even in my same major, yet alone my local area), then totally go for #3.

If distance is an issue, stick with #1, but keep at arm's reach until you can say for sure whether she's into you or not. As for long-term/short-term discrepancy, one or both of you is gonna need to meet the other halfway. Relationships involve compromise.

[HeiseiGodzilla117]

I'm in a similar situation as yabs (only where distance is concerned). One of my friends got me talking with one of her friends that she goes to school with. Been talking to her fairly regularly over facebook and she's really cool. We've been hitting it off really well and we both kinda like eachother. However, she's about an hour drive away from me (assuming congested traffic on the interstate). That's not really a problem for me, but I don't know about her. Anybody have experience with a girl who lived about an hour away? If so, how did it work out?

[Hellspawn28]

A hour away does not seem that bad since I know people who date other people from other states. People have told me try dating people from other states but I never like the idea of long distance relationships. If you are going to date someone from the other side of the US then you are going to see them at least once or maybe twice a year. I like would like to date someone close near by me and that I could see them at least more then once a week.

[wataru]

What's the difference in short term and long term dating?

Back in my day it was:
skreeonk Buddy
Friend w/Benefits
or
Dating in hopes of an LTR.

[spinzilla]

Hey guys, just an update on my pretty unique dating situation. Last week my girlfriend, Dorothy, came to visit the states (she currently works in Mexico) for a week. It's not hard to imagine that we spent a lot of time together during the week and I had a bit of a revelation; this is working much better than either of us had imagined. We've been dating for over a year now and while a decent size chunk of the relationship has technically been in two different countries and time zones, stuff like skype and smart phones help keep things fresh and stable. Technology has defintely been a big help. Because of it we can keep in fairly regular contact and have online "dates" with the help of video chat. But the biggest factor of our success is the mutual drive to want to work at our relationship. I'm actively presuing her with being a creative long distance boyfriend and Dorothy puts a lot of thought and care in what she does for me. I feel blessed that she works and tries so hard for this relationship. We're both serious about this and our futures' seem to lining up nicely. She's finished with her work in Mexico next July and I have about a year of school left. Long story short: I've decided to start saving up for a ring. A little at a time, but a year is a good time window to save up a good amount of cash. I'm happy.

Rando post, i know. But I wanted to share.

[ZillaMaster91]

That's great to hear, and it's stories like those that restore my faith in long distance relationships.

For me, however, I don't think I'll be buying a ring anytime soon.... heck or even flowers! Throughout high school, I've tried to ask girls out, and in the end it ALWAYS never ended well. The last time I had a girlfriend was back in the 8th grade... and I don't think that legitimately counts! Now that I'm in college, my priorities have somewhat shifted. Sure I could date and have a fun time, but I'd rather do my best on my school work and just enjoy my hobbies. There are times that I often think about how life would be for me if I did put the time and effort into a relationship, and eventually settle down with the woman I would hope to one day marry. It's a nice thought, and something to look forward to. But, I'm just tired of chasing after girls who don't feel the same way about me as I feel about them. I just want a break to look at myself and learn from past mistakes. Hopefully, I will be able to identify the girl that I would be compatible with.

For example: During my senior year of high school, I met this girl - let's call her Elisa. Elisa was new, and my parents invited her family over for lunch one day where I met her for the first time. We definitely bonded quickly, and it was overwhelming for me because she was a gorgeous girl and I was... well, me. Our friendship grew over the following months, but when she began dating other guys, I became quite jealous and realized that I actually liked her in a more romantic sense rather than just friendship. Despite her dating other guys, she and I still enjoyed spending time with one another - and sure, I innocently flirted with her. After a couple of years knowing her, I sincerely thought that she was the girl I was destined to be with... yes I believe in destiny, what of it? However, last Christmas....

I came home last December. Prior to that, Elisa and I were chatting nonstop on Facebook, and earlier than that, I have already revealed my feelings for her. So imagine yourself coming home for the holidays to a girl that you've fallen in love with, only to find out that she began dating someone else! Apparently she ended our so-called long distance relationship without even telling me. How unfaithful was that? For the rest of my time back home I resented her, and her boyfriend - who we shall call Peter. I flew back to Guam in relief.

It did not take me long to get over Elisa. Heck, for the last several months we hardly spoke to one another online. I knew that even our friendship was dying. Now, we're up to last month. I came home without a care in the world for Elisa. Heck, once I eventually saw her I was nice to her, gave her a graduation present and such. My prior feelings for Elisa were completely gone, and I no longer resented her, nor Peter, for it. I accepted the outcome for what it was. After she left for Virginia earlier this month, I knew for a fact that I was never going to see her again.

That's the tragedy. I develop a close bond with a girl and accept her as a special part of my life and a close friend. Then once I start developing feelings for her, it's too late - she's with someone else, albeit a dud, but still. Now we hardly talk and I may never see her again. In the end, the thing I took away was a valuable lesson. You see, I like to think that paths are mean't to be crossed. With each girl that crosses my path, I take away a lesson - with Elisa, it was getting to truly know her. Besides the fact that she began dating someone else before I knew about it, there were other things about her that turned me off - but I won't dive into that.

Point is, that Elisa was just a lesson that I needed to learn. I fell for her, and that was a mistake, a mistake that I do not intend to make again. I just hope that one day, I'll cross paths with a girl that I'd like to walk with for a while, or even for the rest of my life. Who knows. Until then, I like to walk my path solo!

[Hellspawn28]

Long distance relationships work for some people but not all people. Right now, I have been using POF again and I haven't had that much luck with it again. I have six profile views and people tend to not respond to my messages. I guess I should give up and focus on other things but sometimes it's worth a try. Hard not to think about it without getting depressed when you have friends and other people that you know that have been in a relationship for years.

[Godzillabrawler]

I'm bumping this topic because I need some serious help, and my friends and my own conscious are failing me. I've finally got an opportunity to get my dream girl and I feel like I'm botching it at every turn.

To give you some background, I'm a highschool sophomore. I've had a crush on this girl since 7th grade (my school goes from pre-K to 12th). Last year I had a good routine with her. I was her go-to guy for Geometry, and I was content with it. I feel like I've always been one foot in the friend zone and one foot out. Valentines’ Day Last year brought things to a head; her boyfriend sent flowers to her, and they arrived in English class. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and a few days later I caught her on Facebook. Via chat, I told her I had a crush on her. Although she said she had a boyfriend, I told her I was simply letting the weight off my chest, and she was okay with it. So I remained friends with her, and the last day of school I got a hug. Progress, right? Well, summer came and went, and this school year arrived.

I'm more or less like Leonard from The Big Bang Theory, with some differences. My dynamic with this girl is identical to Leonard and Penny's. I'm a nerd of sorts, and she's the popular hot blonde girl (sue me). She and her boyfriend parted ways about 2 weeks ago, although I can't state I know any of the facts regarding who decided it was over. So the obvious choice is to move on in and start the gears moving, right? I’m still split on whether I’ve given her enough time, regardless of whether it was her idea to split or not. And when it comes to the actual “getting to know her” stuff? Well it seems I'm a tactical dumbass. I've messaged her on Facebook and she's apparently gotten her phone taken away by her parents (they're apparently good grade tyrants) or something of the like, so we’ve got a terrible link to a song that describes my feelings and my poor, poor attempt at conversation that have gone unseen and well, when they reach her eyes I'm probably going to die of fear.

Now, there's also another problem. One of my lesser friends, Lee, is moving in on her at an astounding and blatant rate. He's a sports guy and much better with girls, and his flirting is becoming a bother to me. I'm all for letting the girl choose, but I'll put it metaphorically. Getting a girl is like walking up a path to a cabin and, upon getting on the porch, sticking your foot inside the cracked-open door so you've got a chance later. I've had my foot in the door for almost two years now. Well, the door's open completely now, and Lee's running full-blast up the path, and I'm sure he'll show no reluctance in gut punching me (metaphorically) and screwing four years of development.

I feel like I’m in a losing battle, here. There is hope; I have not gone unnoticed. She occasionally talks to me in short bursts, and she even took my agenda and wrote “I *heart* *her name*” inside it, so she does still remember me. I just need some consolation and some help. I feel like I’ll botch it all and my chances will be killed.

Also, I’m worried about the issue of driving. I live in Maryland, so I can’t get my license until next school year, and she lives in Virginia, so it’s three months earlier. Should I be worried too much about this?

[King Caesar]

Damn, looks like you're in a pickle. I'd love to help you, but I am King Reject. So, dont take advice from this poor soul.

My problems are just about getting a girl. How the hell...I try, and dammit I've fallen on my face SIX TIMES IN A ROW! ...what do I do?

[Eunectes]

To put in simple "Big Bang Theory" terms, I am a mix of Leonard and Rajesh.

Yeah, I know right?

At one point I'm perfectly fine to girls I know, but the ones I like I am just Rajeshing myself.

I've been long over this girl though, but High School is High School, your friends will bring this up sooner or later so I might need some help on how to forget about this girl entirely.

3 weeks ago...

So, first time I met this girl, BAM, fell for her. I managed to get some of my friends to help me out. I got to chat with her on Facebook and she wanted me to give her the number of one of my friends. I did. In exchange she gave me hers.

Rumours spread about this girl liking the friend I gave her number for, I knew it was over by the instant.

But, she decides to ask me for help on French class, I couldn't bring myself to say no because I am a genuinely nice guy, but I guess that only got me more into her. A week later we had a field trip and she never stops waving at me and smiling, I figured, eh why not? So the day after I tried to ask her out by waiting for her to stack up her chair, bam, she went right past by me without me being able to say a word out of my mouth. Devastating. I got over her quickly afterwards.

The week after (week before now) the school dance started, I don't know who's genius idea it was, but she told one of my other friends to tell me that she doesn't like me. I thought, "Ok, screw it" even though I was long over her there was something that just told me to "Leave the dance, now". I left the dance 2-3 hours before it ended.

Now, she does nothing but these "for every like i'll answer" type of crap which spreads more about her personal info, closest friends, etc. I don't want to tell her to "Shut up" or something like that because she had the audacity to tell one of my other friends once more that she felt bad about what she did at the dance, I didn't care, she should have told me herself.

I don't want to give her a mean thing such as an unfriend or block, but I need to space out from her, and it gets under my skin even more.

tl;dr: I fell into a guy trick from a girl and I can't get over it, help?

[HeiseiGodzilla117]

My problems are just about getting a girl. How the hell...I try, and dammit I've fallen on my face SIX TIMES IN A ROW! ...what do I do?

You've got the same problem I do, man. I haven't managed to hang on to a girl since Sophomore year of high school and now I'm a college senior. I suppose it's all about persistance. Date around and just keep trying. Dates might not be the relationship with a girl you're really interested in, but they'll hold you over and you never know, they might develop into something.

[ZillaMaster91]

To put in simple "Big Bang Theory" terms, I am a mix of Leonard and Rajesh.

Yeah, I know right?

At one point I'm perfectly fine to girls I know, but the ones I like I am just Rajeshing myself.

I've been long over this girl though, but High School is High School, your friends will bring this up sooner or later so I might need some help on how to forget about this girl entirely.

3 weeks ago...

So, first time I met this girl, BAM, fell for her. I managed to get some of my friends to help me out. I got to chat with her on Facebook and she wanted me to give her the number of one of my friends. I did. In exchange she gave me hers.

Rumours spread about this girl liking the friend I gave her number for, I knew it was over by the instant.

But, she decides to ask me for help on French class, I couldn't bring myself to say no because I am a genuinely nice guy, but I guess that only got me more into her. A week later we had a field trip and she never stops waving at me and smiling, I figured, eh why not? So the day after I tried to ask her out by waiting for her to stack up her chair, bam, she went right past by me without me being able to say a word out of my mouth. Devastating. I got over her quickly afterwards.

The week after (week before now) the school dance started, I don't know who's genius idea it was, but she told one of my other friends to tell me that she doesn't like me. I thought, "Ok, screw it" even though I was long over her there was something that just told me to "Leave the dance, now". I left the dance 2-3 hours before it ended.

Now, she does nothing but these "for every like i'll answer" type of crap which spreads more about her personal info, closest friends, etc. I don't want to tell her to "Shut up" or something like that because she had the audacity to tell one of my other friends once more that she felt bad about what she did at the dance, I didn't care, she should have told me herself.

I don't want to give her a mean thing such as an unfriend or block, but I need to space out from her, and it gets under my skin even more.

tl;dr: I fell into a guy trick from a girl and I can't get over it, help?

I know how you feel bro.

However, truth is, she's not worth the trouble. I apologize for being blunt, but if there is one thing I learned from all this is that there is no gain from pursuing a girl like that. I've wasted two years of my life dreaming of the day that I'd end up with the girl I wrote about several posts ago. However, certain events transpired that made me realize that she sees me merely as a friend, a brother figure. After seeing who she truly is, I pretty much cut all ties with her. It sucks... because for a while she was one of my closest, dearest, and most loyal of friends. I blame myself for viewing the relationship much more than that, but hey, that's life.

[goji89]

Not to be an ass but isn't this thread about "hot to get the girl" so how about some cheese with all this whine. JK. To get the girl is easy, just have things in common, be yourself, and confident. Oh and stop being behind a comp to meet them trust me, crazy but it works out better. And again not tying to be an ass just trying to get it going a bit thing was getting a little depressing.

[Hellspawn28]

I haven't had a major crush on a girl since High School. I try looking for new people, but I feel like I'm in no rush for anything at the moment. I guess I will wait until the right person will show up one day.

[Dust_pan]

I haven't had a major crush on a girl since High School. I try looking for new people, but I feel like I'm in no rush for anything at the moment. I guess I will wait until the right person will show up one day.

Same here. If you don't feel the need to be with someone, then don't force yourself, right? Let that feeling sink in naturally, so that if you do start looking for someone, you won't feel as stressed/uncomfortable.

[Giga Kaiju]

I haven't had a major crush on a girl since High School. I try looking for new people, but I feel like I'm in no rush for anything at the moment. I guess I will wait until the right person will show up one day.

Same here. If you don't feel the need to be with someone, then don't force yourself, right? Let that feeling sink in naturally, so that if you do start looking for someone, you won't feel as stressed/uncomfortable.

Third this notion. I am in the same situation, College does have a lot of opportunities but im not in a rush or anything but if the chance arises then
the better.

[goji89]

O.k guys little tip stop being so afraid of failure. Whats the worst thing that's gonna happen she says no, so what shrugg it off and let her see that it didn't bother you even if it did it should'nt. Get to know the girl and don't be in such a damn hurry. All i hear is that you don't have any luck with the ladies bull. Go up to the girl you like and just tell her '' hey I like you'' if she says different just say ''its o.k i just wanted to tell you so that you know'' then say bye and walk away. Be sincere

[Crocodile]

Be sincere

Yeah, I can't do that cheif

Because truth be told, I doubt I have the emotional patience for another person right now. So being sincere, I'd tell a menagerie of girls, I'd only like to skreeonk them and be done with them.

Shit probably wouldn't go over well

[Spirit Ghidorah 2010]

Go up to the girl you like and just tell her '' hey I like you'' if she says different just say ''its o.k i just wanted to tell you so that you know'' then say bye and walk away.

Uh, no. That doesn't work. Waaaay to direct and forward, even if you are friends with her.