Trolling Godzilla Fans

[M.U.T.O.]

How to troll Godzilla fans:

-Perfer Gareth Edwards is the best director for a Godzilla film
-Insist that the badly dubbed English dubs are more fun to watch than watching any of the films in their supposed correct language
-say that any of the SHOWAWWWH films are sheeeet cause they use cardboard & toy cars, tanks & jets wires are in every shot
-Shove your preferred era down others' throats
-Call Legendary Godzilla BearZilla or Lardzilla
-Say that Heisei Godzilla is the most slender Godzilla design
-Sing the praises of Godzilla Final Wars & Godzilla 1998 to anyone who'll listen

Fixed for accuracy. After all, I said that!

Same goes for people who shove their preferred era down others throats.

Remember? This is the quickest and easiest and most potent means of trolling fellow G-Fans: be your favorite era Showa, Heisei, Millennium, or the newfangled Legendary, shove your intense fandom for that era down the throats of everyone else.
(And when I was saying that, yes I was making a slight jab at MDK, but it applies to fans of all eras alike.)

[edgaguirus]

Or just criticize the other person's preferred era to no end. Either way, you'll get a reaction.

Another way is to nitpick every detail of a film, making theories that others will argue endlessly against.

[Desghidorah]

Considering how thin skinned and varied this fan base is at times, I think saying just about any opinion regarding kaiju will troll someone somehow. Seriously, I could say something like

"I thought Destoroyah had a better design than Hedorah."

And rustle someone's jimmies.

[Lain Of The Wired]

Talk about how the cgi bastardized the new movie and made it "Not a true film".

[Vatarian]

Talk about how the cgi bastardized the new movie and made it "Not a true film".

Where were the sparks???? the bumper-cart style melee-fights? The awkward attempt at merging CGI or green-screening with live footage?? Garrthe redwards BUTCHERED this film.

[Gojira tai Mosura]

Talk about how the cgi bastardized the new movie and made it "Not a true film".

Where were the sparks???? the bumper-cart style melee-fights? The awkward attempt at merging CGI or green-screening with live footage?? Garrthe redwards BUTCHERED this film.

I swear, if Toho Kingdom Toons or whatever makes a return, they had better make a "Godzilla VS The World" video where all of the monsters are just riding bumper carts and bumping into each other.
That's kaiju fighting for you!

[M.U.T.O.]

Talk about how the cgi bastardized the new movie and made it "Not a true film".

Where were the sparks???? the bumper-cart style melee-fights? The awkward attempt at merging CGI or green-screening with live footage?? Garrthe redwards BUTCHERED this film.

I swear, if Toho Kingdom Toons or whatever makes a return, they had better make a "Godzilla VS The World" video where all of the monsters are just riding bumper carts and bumping into each other.
That's kaiju fighting for you!

...I need to draw that...

[Vatarian]

Talk about how the cgi bastardized the new movie and made it "Not a true film".

Where were the sparks???? the bumper-cart style melee-fights? The awkward attempt at merging CGI or green-screening with live footage?? Garrthe redwards BUTCHERED this film.

I swear, if Toho Kingdom Toons or whatever makes a return, they had better make a "Godzilla VS The World" video where all of the monsters are just riding bumper carts and bumping into each other.
That's kaiju fighting for you!

And there shpuld be plenty of small fire-crackers lying around. So we have plenty of sparks.

[edgaguirus]

Talk about how the cgi bastardized the new movie and made it "Not a true film".

Where were the sparks???? the bumper-cart style melee-fights? The awkward attempt at merging CGI or green-screening with live footage?? Garrthe redwards BUTCHERED this film.

I swear, if Toho Kingdom Toons or whatever makes a return, they had better make a "Godzilla VS The World" video where all of the monsters are just riding bumper carts and bumping into each other.
That's kaiju fighting for you!

This sound like something for the 4th of July.

[Breakdown]

I just read the ED article and Christ almighty that was entertaining Their description for TOMG had me dying.

[Lain Of The Wired]

I just read the ED article and Christ almighty that was entertaining Their description for TOMG had me dying.

A bunch of space apes in human skin come back and this time wear even more -------- looking spacesuits, and hire a hot whore to take control of Mechagodzilla, who is now being repaired to team up with a mind-controlled pedosaur named Titanosaurus. This is happening partially because a bipolar asian Albert Einstein got fucked over when nobody believed him when he said there was a giant red dinosaur swimming around in a salty ocean that wears fins like its the 80's, and cackles like a seal high on helium. Shit blows up, and Godzilla kicks Mechagodzilla and Titanosaurus's assholes. He then goes underwater where he takes a well-deserved decade-long nap. Now can you humans go FIVE SECONDS without FUCKING UP?!!!! Plus, were the title changers too bothered to see WHO THE FUCKING VILLAIN WAS THIS TIME AROUND?!!!

Oh may gawd...

[G2000]

Godzilla Head Cannon/Fan Rebranding

Have a fan theory that will never have confirmation but is really thought out? Think a monster is male/female because they don't have a confirmed gender? Think a monster is the opposite gender than what is actually confirmed because to you it makes more sense? Hell, do you even like to rename the monsters because your new name sounds better? Then just follow these tips and ims sure everyone will come to totally live and accept your head cannon!

- come up with ridiculous theories how all the eras are connected
- millennium Godzilla is Godzilla junior
- Spacegodzilla is a female
- Rename Spacegodzilla to "Xenilla" because "it sounds better than the crappy generic name"
- Kiryu is a female and by extendion G54 is as well
- "Queen Ghidorah"
- Battra is also female (dear lord there are a lot of these)
- Destroyah is also female (T_T)
- Talk about your head cannon all the time even when people don't ask or care about it
- think that what you think is correct no matter what because everyone is entitled to there own opinion

Ah ah, you forgot the "Showa Godzilla is female/G54's mate" thing.

[Desghidorah]

Leave it to ED to pull randomness out of a hat.

Godzilla Head Cannon/Fan Rebranding

Have a fan theory that will never have confirmation but is really thought out? Think a monster is male/female because they don't have a confirmed gender? Think a monster is the opposite gender than what is actually confirmed because to you it makes more sense? Hell, do you even like to rename the monsters because your new name sounds better? Then just follow these tips and ims sure everyone will come to totally live and accept your head cannon!

- think that what you think is correct no matter what because everyone is entitled to there own opinion

Beg your pardon?

Dude, headcanons unless when shoved down people's throats, are harmless. They can be wrong, stupid, or anything in both, but fan series often run off of headcanons. Yeesh, if we wanted to find ways to troll you, seems like having an idea at all is a good one.

[edgaguirus]

I just read the ED article and Christ almighty that was entertaining Their description for TOMG had me dying.

A bunch of space apes in human skin come back and this time wear even more -------- looking spacesuits, and hire a hot whore to take control of Mechagodzilla, who is now being repaired to team up with a mind-controlled pedosaur named Titanosaurus. This is happening partially because a bipolar asian Albert Einstein got skreeonked over when nobody believed him when he said there was a giant red dinosaur swimming around in a salty ocean that wears fins like its the 80's, and cackles like a seal high on helium. Shit blows up, and Godzilla kicks Mechagodzilla and Titanosaurus's assholes. He then goes underwater where he takes a well-deserved decade-long nap. Now can you humans go FIVE SECONDS without skreeonking UP?!!!! Plus, were the title changers too bothered to see WHO THE skreeonking VILLAIN WAS THIS TIME AROUND?!!!

Oh may gawd...

" Seal high on helium." That is funny.

[Godzilla6014]

Boy was I late to this party let try a hand at this.

1. Say the whole series is bad from beginning to end. It all sucks, nothing is interesting or memorable about any Godzilla films at all but the Showa sucks the most and none of them are worth your time. Watching them back t oback is the best way to get sleep at night.
2. Reference old time cartoon characters to stir them up. I.E talk like Daffy Duck I thith thth ith a gthood enthough movthie Kith Koth vths Godthilla.
3. Everything in the genre is public domain Toho Daiei or whatever owns none of it and never will.
4. Say Power Rangers, Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, Ultraman top those films any day of the week.
5. Edwards and Honda are both a stick in the mud.
6. Godzilla's time on MST3K is the only real highlight of his career.
7. 1970 and 90's films were the only time he got anywhere in life.
8. I'd rather buy and sit through popstar concert film then sit through two hours of pointless shit.
9. Toho's transfers of the disc are far better than Sony or Classic Media could dream of doing.
10. The fans are always fixing things that don't need to be fixed stuff that should be fixed is ignored as a whole.
11. Every Godzilla films is the same you've seen one you've seen them all.
12. Toho should stick to disaster flicks instead and always have better writers, directors, casts members and producers.
13. Emmerich's work so much better more detailed and a much more fantastic looking Godzilla and Toho had 22 films before that and still couldn't get right what good are they?
14. the toys are cheap plastic, arms and legs fall off everytime you touch them what the point?
15. the video game are bore and disposable mindless junk pure garbage is all they are. They suck balls!

[Beef Bigshot]

Leave it to ED to pull randomness out of a hat.

Godzilla Head Cannon/Fan Rebranding

Have a fan theory that will never have confirmation but is really thought out? Think a monster is male/female because they don't have a confirmed gender? Think a monster is the opposite gender than what is actually confirmed because to you it makes more sense? Hell, do you even like to rename the monsters because your new name sounds better? Then just follow these tips and ims sure everyone will come to totally live and accept your head cannon!

- think that what you think is correct no matter what because everyone is entitled to there own opinion

Beg your pardon?

Dude, headcanons unless when shoved down people's throats, are harmless. They can be wrong, stupid, or anything in both, but fan series often run off of headcanons. Yeesh, if we wanted to find ways to troll you, seems like having an idea at all is a good one.

Hey guys look, its working

[edgaguirus]

If the fan is male, then call Kumi Mizuno ugly and an absolutely terrible actress. The back off and watch the fireworks.

[Hauntedmech]

Godzilla is a girl.

Tips:
+Blatantly disregard official statements by creators who aren't Gareth Edwards
+Gareth Edwards was being funny but also totally serious when he said Godzilla was a girl
+Godzilla laid the egg in Son of Godzilla
+Kiryu is also a girl
+Basically the majority of posts I've made on this website so far.

I love how female Kiryu was just a thing that I invented because I wanted to be a special snowflake and now people are actually legitimately pissed/happy about it. I feel so accomplished.

[Vatarian]

That has to be one of the strangest yet. Kiryu is literally metal and a computer over a fucking skeleton. How do you assign that a gender?

Was it even really sentient? Wasn't the rampage sorta just a result of instinctual coding in the DNA used for the (incredibly brilliant and totally not destined for disaster) DNA computers?

By this logic, I dub my vacuum-cleaner Samantha.

[Hauntedmech]

That has to be one of the strangest yet. Kiryu is literally metal and a computer over a skreeonking skeleton. How do you assign that a gender?

Was it even really sentient? Wasn't the rampage sorta just a result of instinctual coding in the DNA used for the (incredibly brilliant and totally not destined for disaster) DNA computers?

By this logic, I dub my vacuum-cleaner Samantha.

Kiryu is heavily implied to have at least something resembling a consciousness, particularly in Tokyo SOS when it rejects the order to kill Godzilla, carries him out to sea, says goodbye to and then dumps Yoshito out of its cockpit, and plunges itself and Godzilla down into the bottom of the ocean, completely of its own will.

As for how I assigned that a gender? Like this:
Kiryu is identified as gender-neutral or female for the purposes of my role play blog.

Like I said, I initially did this just because I wanted to be a special snowflake. Despite being referred to exclusively as "it" in all translations of the film scripts that I'm aware of, pretty much everyone assumes that Kiryu is male. I wanted to have something to differentiate my portrayal from any others that might pop up elsewhere, and saying that Kiryu was female seemed to be, as you have so graciously pointed out, perhaps the strangest and most unexpected way that I could present the character. Any thematic or canon evidence that I amassed to support this portrayal came after I had already come to that conclusion.

But this is probably off-topic for this thread. It can be discussed somewhere else.