This is for entertainment purposes only. It is just for a chuckle, a humorous commentary on our community, and no actual offense is intended. We are not responsible for the soreness of your butt.
The 1998 Film and GINO: "Why all the hate?"
Mere mention of the 1998 Godzilla film is enough to spark mindless shit-flinging among garden variety Godzilla fans. Taking a rabid pro-1998 stance is even more likely to attract flames and, eventually, white knights who will step up for the right to love that piece of poop film. Godzilla fans will never forgive or forget, and those who want to will only get angrier and angrier if you won't let them.
+ Quibble over what the creature's name is. Be 100% confident (cite Wikizilla no matter what you're saying) that its OFFICIAL name is Zilla, GINO, Ziller, Gigantis, or whatever you want. Be sure to mention that Toho officially changed the copyright.
+ Compare it favorably to the 2014 film or say they are basically the same.
+ Make disparaging remarks about the "slow" or "unrealistic" Toho Godzillas of the past.
The 2014 Film: Gareth the Master Ruseman
While many fans loved, liked, or at least accepted this incarnation of the King of the Monsters*, it is, like every single other thing in the Godzilla universe, the source of endless rage and angst. You should declare it either the best or the worst Godzilla film ever made, pointing to either the great success or total failure at the box office (kek) as evidence for your Objective (Critical!) Opinion. Keep in mind, Gareth Edwards is Not a True Fan, and he made the film just to hurt the Americans he hates by teasing them with Godzilla as a guest star in his own film.
+ Hey, how about those feet?
+ Godzilla is fat. Sasuga Americans.
+ Muh nuclear origin
+ Isn't this whole film just a total whitewash of Hiroshima/Japanese people/GINO/Obamacare?
+ CGI vs Suitmation
+ Musuko wa doko da!?
*No longer King of the Monsters. Slattern is reigning King per official Guillermo del Toho statements.
+ Ask Tamashii Nations when the SHMA will be out.
+ Insist that his power level makes him ideal for every movie/comic/video game/figure line
+ Start petitions. These are guaranteed to have results and prove THE HATERS wrong
+ Bagan belongs in every conversation. His power level is so high that it penetrates even topics unrelated to Godzilla
Marmit vinyl figures (SOFUBI)
These McDonald's Happy Meal toys are collected by rich weeaboo manchildren without the sophistication to appreciate hundreds of points of articulation. They're great in the bathtub or sandbox, and your dog will love chewing on them.
+ Bandai USA figures are just as good if not better and can be bought at your local Kmart, just like everything good in life.
+ Marmits can be won as carnival prizes at Hentai (Tea Ceremony) conventions in Japan
+ They can't even do the splits.