Things learned from Godzilla movies

[edgaguirus]

Tell 10 things you learned from a Godzilla film. It can be funny or serious.

[L Lawliet]

1. Dance epicly after winning a great battle
2. Whenever I see someone with three heads, I attack them
3. Monkeys get stronger when struck by lightning
4. That I beat the crap out of my child so they can become just like me
5. If I get my head blown off, I can just have it replaced with a metallic one, no problems
6. If you like to fight, and you jump in the air a lot, you will get your ass kicked
7. That if I dream hard enough, I will fight giant green ogre monsters
8. Never trust the police ever, if in a serious situation
9. That fusing plant DNA, and Lizard DNA equals big trouble
10. Someone who's ass I kicked, will always become my Ally later if they are still alive

[Cimmerian Dragon]

1. Never trust foreigners offering cures for disease, protection from monsters, or a general sense of brotherhood.
2. Nature has a way sometimes of reminding Man of just how small he is.
3. Monsters know their enemies by natural instinct.
4. Godzilla uses terrible language.
5. Interpol is much cooler than we've been led to believe.
6. The fire dragon is just a saucer.
7. Respect the souls of the dead.
8. On a night like this...you should talk about love.
9. People aren't robots.
10. Mutual trust is a beautiful thing, but it won't buy groceries.

[Gyaos]

1. Dont pollute or else a giant shit monster will come to wreak havok on earth

2. Dont screw with nukes lest you invoke the wrath of a 50 meter radioactive dinosaur

3. Dont screw with Godzilla's DNA

4. Dont screw with Godzilla's bones

5. Never trust aliens

6. The safe zone to attack Godzilla is 43 degrees in the horizontal position and 81 degrees in the vertical direction from the rear.

7. The time from the radiation of his dorsal fins to the discharge of his heat beam is 1.26 seconds.

8. Pterodactly Enthusiasts get to do whatever the skreeonk they want, such as enterting an off limits research facility.

9. Dont trust someone whos been alone on an island for too long pilot your super-expensive robot

10. Plants can sing

[Kaiju-King42]

Here's a few things I learned:

1. If your corns hurt, that means that there is a monster around.
2. Your corns NEVER lie.
3. At certain times, Godzilla may use terrible language. Do not be alarmed when he does.
4. If your giant mech begins experiencing problems, it's likely that the engine room may be on fire.
5. If something strange occurs, a monster is most likely the culprit, even when there is no evidence to be found.
6. If a monster is not the culprit, then it's aliens.
7. Joining the JSDF is a one way ticket to the afterlife.
8. If you are possession of a giant egg, please return it.
9. Don't worry. It's a corn cob, not a gun.
10. The armpit is always the weak spot. No exceptions.

[Destroyer]

1. Japan must be fast re-builders, considering that almost every year it gets blown up by a monster yet it keeps getting put back in like new condition

2. Don't pollute, otherwise a smog monster will come

3. Short shorts must be the style in Japan for boys

4. That aliens' and monsters' favorite place on earth is Japan

5. That a giant Pteranodon is better at volleyball than a giant Godzillasaurus

6. That if radiation hits a bug, it won't kill it, but turn it giant

7. That Godzilla has a soft spot for islander girls

8. That if a smog monster comes, it will LAUGH IN YOUR FACE

9. That psychopath monsters exist

10. That Atlantis was just a lie, it's really Seatopia that's inhabited by Romans

[JAGzilla]

What an awesome thread.

1. That intravenous stuff's no good for you. Stick to smoking!
2. That giant flying rocks are amazing!
3. That Angweerus shouldn't attack his friend Godziller.
4. That missiles will go through monsters like crap through a goose.
5. That whatever the painter dude says, Ichiro did it and he's sorry.
6. That Godzilla isn't red.
7. That unscrupulous scientists are the real monsters.
8. That Godzilla is just a legend.
9. That if you have a radio, all the other chiefs will tremble.
10. That only one thing is on Godzilla's mind.

[Living Corpse]

10. Rodan is not a small flying dinosaur.
9. Hedorah is not only made of shit, he'll kick the shit out of you.
8. Porn pics show up in the least suspected places.
7. Oxygen can be destroyed.
6. Robots can reprogram themselves.
5. Ape men from space need humans to fix their weapons.
4. Going right into it is always the best plan of attack.
3. That monsters have a second brain shoved up their ass.
2. The tuna head was useless.

1.Plant + Godzilla + Human = A giant Resident Evil BOW (Bio-Organic Weapon)

[SoleMan]

1. That all science is wrong, and radiation can be good for you.
2. We can't tell if it was Mars or Venus that used to have life.
3. If someone called the Destroyer of Worlds is coming to your planet, don't take it too seriously.
4. Giant enemy crabs aren't from video games.
5. Monsters should fight for their rights to enter the volley-ball olympics
6. You should fight your own battles, even when your enemies are bigger than you and have electrical powers.
7. If you spit a napalm bomb out, don't sit around with your mouth open
8. Conversation of matter is BULLSHIT
9. Giant Cyborg chickens from space lie about their eye lasers.
10. The key to winning a battle in style is all in the tail support.

If everyone lived by these rules, the world would be a better place.

[GodzillaSpawn]

This thread is full of win

1) Even the might of giant angry gods will succumb to the power of alcohol and helium.

2) Angilas is dumb enough to latch on to Ghidorah's neck twice and try to hitch a ride...because it worked out so well in Destroy All Monsters.

3) Planet of the Apes must be real, because they show up in Godzilla movies as well.

4) Who needs physics and gravity when you have monsters with magical string powers?

5) If you saw it in a dream, it must come true.

6) King Ceasar would make a boring pet.

7) These monsters are just as stupid as human beings.

8) Bad things happen to people who think of Godzilla as their savior (RIP Shindo!).

9) Poor Godzilla constantly tries to swim away from his children but they always follow.

10) Somewhere along the line Godzilla's family got it in with a member of Rodan's family. Bow-chik-a-bow-wow!

[Carthormerr]

What friends don't know enemies won't know. Hahahahahahahahahahaha

[Space Hunter M]

1. Technologically advanced extraterrestrials require the help of human scientists to fix their own crap.
2. News editors are more feared than radioactive monsters.
3. 50m high creatures have marble-sized brains.
4. A man with equipped with a briefcase, a skeleton key and a toy rifle is definitely a robber.
5. Everything is numbered here, the monster is zero.
6. History is no place for sentimentality.
7. Life would be sad without love.
8. When in doubt, turn 180 degrees and go right into it.
9. Never abandon your mission, even if a space dragon is trying to kill all humanity.
10. In your army's moment of triumph, jeopardize the entire operation by shorting out the power of your super weapon.

[Shadow]

10.That guy could be a romantic.
9.You can trick advanced aliens with simple means.
8. Making a Oxygen Destroyer again is not easy.
7. Your allies from different nations want to test their nukes on your country.
6. Trying to get rid of a monster via time travel will come back and bite you in the ass later.
5. Always complain when digging holes.
4. Combining DNA with two different things is likely a death sentence.
3. Ten inch fairies are so hot, every person wants to grab them.
2. Psychic girls are always smoking.
1. Mothra doesn't know she's cheating on me, so I forgive her.

[Godzillabrawler]

These aren't in any particular order of importance, really.

10. Always study hard for your Kaiju Naming Exam so you don't sound like a dumbass when a monster attacks, for example, "CAPTAIN, IT'S DE ANGWEERUS, SIR!"
9. Watch out for genetic scientists wanting to have sex with you.
8. That a 20,000 ton giant monster can lift into the air by belching for an extended period of time.
7. It's not okay to be struck by one bolt of lightning, but getting hit by a multitude of lightning strikes allows you to manipulate metal.
6. When doing massive spin kicks in mid-air, gravity can screw itself.
5. Shooting Godzilla with a puny bullet filled with drugs meant to harm humans is TOTALLY going to do anything.
4. Asteroids are actually composed of a packaging foam-type substance.
3. If it's a monster, jump to the conclusion that it must be Godzilla.
2. Household pets can survive a dousing in a metric ton of highly acidic shit and come out alive.
1. If your engine room is on fire, you're in for a beating.

[Tyler]

1. Don't live in Japan
2. Radiation makes things big
3. Monsters lay gigantic eggs
4. Aliens want our land and women
5. Humans can defeat advanced space aliens
6. You can build a size-shifting robot in our spare time
7. Godzilla has a brain about this size
8. Daiei can make a better movie with half the money
9. Emmerich and Kitamura are tools
10. Godzilla is inside each one of us

[Sydney Aradi]

1. Always have a badass MMA fighter as a captain
2. If your boss wants to publicize his company bring him a giant gorilla
3. When fully charged Godzilla can toss a three headed monster into orbit
4. All Godzilla family members have a 2nd brain located in their body
5. Godzilla can survive being dropped into molten lava
6. Godzilla can survive a black hole
7. Monsters know their foes by natural instinct
8. Mothra can convince fellow monsters to be good
9. Stomp on your infant son's tail to make him spit atomic flames
10. Godzilla can fly by breathing atomic fire long enough

[godzilla96]

godzilla is awsome

[edgaguirus]

1. Godzilla would not make a good pet.

2. When attacked by kaiju or a giant robot, use your pistol. It won't save you, but it will help you save face.

3. Godzilla is not red. We all know he's green.

4. Don't scream when you see Godzilla. He'll hear you.

5. Editors are scarier than Godzilla. Godzilla may stomp you, but the editor can fire you.

6. Kaneko should make more Godzilla films. Seriously, he really should.

7. Always listen to the prophetess or creepy old guy. When they say don't go into the crater, don't go into the crater.

8. If your weapons fail, attack from the side.

9. Always name or give kaijus numbers. Monster Zero would be Monster without the zero.

10. Kaiju like to be sang to, especially if you're a pair of hot twins.

[GodzillaSpawn]

6. Kaneko should make more Godzilla films. Seriously, he really should.

True story.

[SoleMan]

10. Godzilla is inside each one of us

That's the meaning of life.